Reflection....

While Vaughn-elise is not yet one...her party is tomorrow and i am feeling the sadness and excitement of having a one year old. I do miss the baby days but i love love love who she is now. I can watch her or stare at her all day and just feel in complete awe that I am a mommy to a beautiful amazing, funny little girl. She is sick today, stuffies....wanting to snuggle all day. I hate that she is sick and love her wanting to snuggle. i am so lucky to get these days home with her! I realize she does not know its her party or that htis big day that we've been plannign for months is for her, but i want her to feel special, i want her to feel warm and loved and that its not just a normal day. I really hope people are not "fighting for her attention" and instead focus on giving her their attention. This day is about her and often when people dont see kiddos for a long time they tend to make the day about them instead. I hate that. She has lots and lots of people who love her. She's alucky lady to have them all want to be there and share the day with her. Her gift finally came in and i am going to wait and give it to her on her birthday. I want to do something special with her that day. Though i am nto sure what I will come up with on a non existant budget:) My sister and phillippe are working on her birthday video. I am so excited to see it but am pretty sure I will bawl. I am so lucky to have a baby with such a strong personality, she's so girly and loving and sensitive and I just love her to pieces. Everynight I pray that God only allows me to speak kind words to her, that he helps me to be cautious of how i respond to her and how I react to her...I beg him to give me patience with her when I feel I am out and I thank him every minute for her. I never want her to feel hurt, shame, saddness or pain and while i cannot keep her from ever feeling these thigns, I hopefulyl can prevent her from feeling them because of me. ....

Anyways, thanks to all of you who will be there. We are so lucky to have you celebrate such a memorable special day with our daughter.