Christmas and NY!

I havent been keeping up with my blogging lately. Christmas was great. So much fun this year. We have discovered that Santa may not be a tradition we get to take part in but will see how next year goes. Vaughn is petrified of the idea of someone coming into our house. It started with her being okay if santa left the presents outside...then she didnt even like that idea. I told her we would hve MRs Clause come and she was fine with that until Christmas Eve night and then clung to me at bedtime crying and saying "dat creepy mama, nobody come in my house. Santa creepy mama, i dont yike mrs clause. No!" SO I said, forget it. Its not worth it and we told her the presents were from us. Actually in the morning we tried to pretend they were from santa and she wouldnt go near them, so thats when i told her to forget it, mommy and daddy got you this. poor girl.

We had some great time with family, ate way too much food and got to think about 2009 years ago when that tiny babe was born. I wonder if Mary knew or trully believed that Jesus was the son of God. I know I Wouldnt believe it if someone told me that I was carrying God's child....not that God would ever choose me...but you get what I am saying:) I dont know, but I sure am thankful he came!


After another short week at work, its hard to beleive we are at another NYE. Turning into 2010 and leaving yet another year behind. This year was so many changes for us, regaining my independence and moving out, my new job, new car, buying a house, engagement, new babysitter for Vaughn....lots of changes. it has been a great year with many adventures (flooded kitchen, mice infestation, trees falling inches from the house, vaughn locking herself in the house, house hunting and eventually purchasing.) Whew. Its insane to think of what 2010 will bring.

I am thankful that I am not one of those people who feel the need to party hard on NYE anymore. i am more than content to be home with my baby girl, snuggled up, watching Mickey Mouse and building princess block castles. Not only is it too dangerous and rediculously cold, i would rather set goals for myself, reminisce, look back on photos of the year and take the time to just enjoy an extra day off work with Vaughn. Rudy has decided to go back home for the weekend so V and I are alone. i was planning on going to the QC with him and then tomorrow mornign we were going to drive to my grandma's in Illinios, but rudy decided he just wanted to stay in the QC this weekend and so, V and I are now staying home. Stinks big time. I miss my grandma and alot and dont want to have to make the drive alone with her in the cold all that way. Major Bummer.

I hope you all have a blessed, fabulous, styling, smilerific, year full of joy and excitement. Bring it on 2010!!!!

pictures

The Polar Express....

Vaughn-elise recieving her very special bell from santa. It was SOO Crowded so I did not get very good pictures.:(

reading the book...

we all arrived in our pjs and Vaughn got her ticket punched just like in the movie....soo cool.

making Christmas cookies:)

oops. baking with a toddler can get messy.

as you can see she ate most of the dough.

yes, my daughter is doing the pogo stick on a toilet plunger....(a new one dont worry)

My friend Rebekka who did the Jolly Holiday Lights walk with me.

V and I after the walk.

I havent posted lately-I have just been too busy. The holidays are here in full force! I love it! We went to visit rudy's family last weekend for Christmas. I still have not unpacked from that trip and am hoping to get a serious "holiday cleaning" done tomorrow night. Work has been insane. cookie exchanges, secret santas, christmas games, tomorrow is the company wide food day, holiday lunches out with our bosses, white elephants....its been crazy- fun, but busy. I am ALMOST done wrapping....I have now officially puti n 8.5 hours of wrapping this year and have only a few left to wrap. I tell you- I could go nuts with paper, bows, ribbons, package decorations- I have to tame myself. One gift in particular I have wrapped and unwrapped 4 times because I just cant get the paper to look right. My dad always taught us....half of the present is how it looks.

Vaughn is SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS. There is an inflatable santa at the neighbors and in the wind it looks like its waving to her. She tells it good night and when we get out of the car she YELLS "I love you SANTA....I am being good....you watch!" and she waves good night to it. Its a sure way to keep her behaving. :) I am so excited for her this year. She just loves everything so much she will be such a fun girl to watch open gifts. I cannot get enough of her. Her hugs and kisses, her yelling "love you more mama!" her songs, stories and giggles. It brings me to tears. She is my favorite gift I have ever gotten. She's my bestest.

I dont have many pictures becuase i am plum too tired to upload them. I should post photos of our new home, our projects, my girl, our tree...but i have to wait...at least until tomorrow when i have more energy:)

I wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and a wonderful BLESSED, meaningful new year.

uncomfortable

Lately I have been struggling alot with the fact that we are comfortable. We dont have alot of money to spare, but the bills get paid and there is an entire closet stuffed full of holiday gifts....our fridge is not full, but we have food to eat at every meal, I dont have a brand new car but my car has luxury features and runs great and still...i find reason to complain. I desperately wish I was at a point in my life where I could leave it all and go help others, I find myself, as i have mentioned before just stuck, feeling like i am living in a world where nobody really "gets it" or wants to help others or give up what they have to help someone else. I complain that my house is 70 degrees and I am cold at night and i forget that there are hundreds of thousands if not millions who are homeless, in the freezing (literally) cold weather and have not eaten today, would give anything for a warm blanket or a hot cup of tea. and I complain. Really? I just dont know whats wrong with me. I dont know why I cant shut my mouth sometimes. I am thankful beyond measure for the things i have, the loved ones i have. I was reading somewhere that said that someone in your neighborhood, or town, will try to take their life this season because they are lonely and sad. that breaks my heart. But what can I do? I guess thats where i struggle, what can measly old me DO? how can we heal the hearts of the broken?? As I have been struggling with this while sitting in my cubicle day in day out feeling like i have chosen a job where I am confined to a cube and unable to reach out to those i think about throughout the day. i came home tonight and checked in on a blog I have not read in a few weeks. I have posted links to her blog before but this one really got me. Tore my heart out and served it to me on a platter sort of got to me. PLEASE read it. Its important. Its worth your time. Its what i was feeling and unable to describe. Read Katie's Blog here . I wonder often, had I not been so wrapped up in my own life in college, having a child and living the life I WANTED, would I have ever had the guts to run off and devote my life to helping others? I would like to say yes, thats exactly where I would be. But i guess I dont know. Either way, I am desturbed that I feel as though i dont know how to help.

I decided to give up food day at work for my birhtday and instead have my department bring items that could be used to help a family. We started with one family, one basket and within 2 days, we had enough food to feed 3 families.....and not just for thanksgiving, but for a week....families of 6 for a week. I was SHOCKED. I think people want to help- they just dont know how and when given the venue, they jump. One of the families called in the other day and let us know how blessed she felt to recieve that and how it changed their holiday and they could celebrate (when origionally they thought they couldnt. ) and they had food and didnt have to worry and they even invited some friends over. It made my day! I was so glad we decided to do that.

I have no problems with exchanging gifts on Christmas. Its fun. Its tradition. What I DO Have a problem with is that I cannot stop thinking of all the thousands of kids who will wake up christmas morning and expecting Santa to have come and find here is not one present for them. Whatever reason, parents too poor, parents not around, no one cares, etc....and i cant sleep at night becuase of that. I want to so badly show those children that they are loved and i want to make their holidays special. how do you reach those children? How do you know who those children are? it eats at me. Not just about Christmas but that there are kids who are cold, or who's parents dont come home at night, or are drunk or just in general, dont know what it feels like to be cherished.

I could go on for days, but its just something i am struggling with. I wish I could adopt all of those children, elderly, unloved persons out there and just shwoer them with love. Mine and Gods.
breaks my heart.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone has a great SAFE and fun thanksgiving! I love this time of year! Its so busy and so full of events, family, planning, eating, suprises! I seriously have a JAMMED PACKED calendar from this point forward. I love that! WE had a busy day today. Shopping for TDAY ingredients, picked V up at my parents, moved about 4 loads of stuff to the new place, set up the new place (what we took over-- mostly the play room) and came back home and started cooking. Im pretty tired. Some girlfriends and I are getting up at 2:3o on black friday and I am sure I will be nice and grouchy by the end of the day. I have this thing where people think its okay to take things out of my cart, or out of my hand at the stores...I must give off a vibe that its okay to steal things from me or something....it doesnt just happen on black friday...but all year long. The girls I am going with have given me permission to kick people in the shins if this happen so I am hoping to make it out of the stores with everything i go to get. Can i tell you how mean people become on Black Friday. Im still hoping for a "ho ho ho happy holidays" type of shopping trip- but I gaurentee you- it wont be. People, in general, are mean at 3 am. Just saying. Me included. But its so much fun!

I cant believe what a busy year this has been! I am so thankful for so many things. Hope you all take a little time to think of our men and women serving the country who cant be home with their families on thanksgiving! Love you all and have a GREAT day tomorrow!!

What a busy busy busy weekend. We did the tree lighting at Jordan Creek on Friday night- ate out and waited for 45 minutes to see santa light the tree and they just turned it on...no annoucement, no santa....but the fireworks lit on fire in the middle of the lake and then there was dueling fireworks which was neat.

saturday was the worlds most horrible day. It just sucked...I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and rudy was having none of my attitude and that basically led to world war 3....when i fight, i get mean and that was no fun...for anyone.
however, we did get to do our kinney second annual pre christmas shopping trip...which was tons of fun. Due to the fight rudy didnt go and since phillippe was cheering on the Hawks, amanda and I got to do some sister shopping. i love this tradition...the kiddos had a blast at gma and papas and then we all ate pizza and dessert..

my night ended as bad as my day started and by bedtime, i was glad the day was over.

Today I had to deliver something i sold on craigslist, return a christmas gift, run to the bank, be back in time for pictures at my parents house, then ran home and got ready for the Tour De Lights Walk for make a wish foundation. I took V and my good friend took her dog and we had the best time...though realized how desperately out of shape I am. V was singing jingle bells, waving to the lighted santas and reindeer...

when we got home, RUDY PROPOSED!?!?!? I was in shock....after the saturday we had i thought it was never going to happen in the history of the world. (or the worlds future...) guess I was wrong!!!

it was a very "rudy ish " proposal....he's a simple man. We were eating dinner, and i got up to get something and when i got back , Vaughn handed me the box (okay, she threw it at my face) and then he asked me. I have to say, its a big relief....there comes a point when your just ready to be married...when the term bf or gf doesnt justify your relationship and I am excited that I will soon be married to the man I have chosen to live my life with. V is very excited as well....!!!

What a week. So glad its over and I am super ready for the weekend. We went to the festival of tree lighting tonight. It was kind of lame i wont lie....only a small group of people could see the band and the music from the mall and restaurants was overpowering the band so you couldnt hear it anyways. We waited for 45 min to see the tree lit and they did it without announcing it so we all missed it.... The fireworks were okay until the fireworks display shooter thing caught fire- then it just went down hill. Glad to be home in our warm house:)

Vaughn was sad becuase we had talked and talked about santa being there (as was advertised) but he was not in fact there. i was not about to tromp through 30,000 people to see santa INSIDE the mall, and who knows if he was there anyways. Frustrating. She kept asking if santa had a headache or if santa was sleeping. Poor thing just wanted to see that man! We'll have to take her maybe this weekend to go visit him at the mall. She's very into him right now, but who knows how well she'll do when it comes to getting close to him.
She has now learned jingle bells....i never thought that song could be sung so many times in one day. only she sings "oh what fun it is to play on my corner..HEY" We're not sure where that came from.

Lots more house projects this weekend....

tomorrow is our second annual pre shopping kinney kids shopping day and i am super excited. My parents give us a "percent" of money they have budgeted for us and we go pick out our gifts within the allotted time limit and take them back to my parents and then we all meet for dinner. Last year was the first year and we had so much fun- but it was new, so we were all stressed....this year we know what to expect and it should be lots of fun. It will be a first for Rudy and Maria and my parents are keeping the kiddos. Should be super fun!


I have been having tons of problems...doctors think it is my gall bladder but the last test showed no stones...which is good so now they are waiting to do a test to see how its functioning. Who knows what all that means, but lets just pray it gets to feeling better prior to thanksgiving!!!

Have a super fun weekend everyone....only a few more days til thanksgiving and a few more weeks til Christmas. IM PUMPED! Bring on the holidays!

Much needed coffee break

This time last year my sweet friend of many many many years and I were meeting for coffee at least once a week. It was a great time for me to get away after V had been put down for the night and what girl doesnt need regular girl time (not to mention regular starbucks) For many months this was our ritual and once spring hit we got out of the habit and with summer, forget it. But, we met up again to night and let me tell you what a joy and a relief it is to have such awesome friends. Feels like no time passed at all. It is very refreshing to meet and talk with a friend who knows you well and is always on the same page as you. Makes my week a little brighter. I always feel refreshed. We dont talk about anything profound or anything, but its just good chat time....I love it and hope we continue the tradition for years. Molly, your awesome and am SO glad to have you in my life.

My birthday was this weekend and went well. I love birthdays- for other people but never put too much thought into mine- which is weird since its the day you came into this world- but its always so busy. Friday night rudy and I went to Joe's crab shack. I love that place. Nothing like some good Crab Legs to put someone in a great mood! It made me miss NC since I ate crab Every. Single. Day there. (but NC crab tastes much different and much better) We did a little holiday shopping for Vaughn too.

Saturday we went to town early, got paint and christmas lights for the new place and then spent the day doing yard work, painting, etc. I got to stop at BBW and get some sale items and later went to Old Navy and got some new tops for work. WE met my brother, his gf and her friend from WI at Outback and got to eat some awesome food. It was a good day overall. My mom and Vaughn made me a root beer cake which may be a yearly tradition now. Man, that is some GOOD CAKE!

We have another mouse. This guy is SMART. we have set every trap we know how to...including trying to burn him in the oven and he manages to escape and hide. Its so disgusting. I cant wait to be out of here! I HATE MICE. Alfie has managed to hurt his leg in his attempt to catch the nasty thing....it drives him crazy. Us too.

my place is in massive disaray right now trying to sort through things, throw away, pack...its really rediculous and is stressing me out! I hate clutter- though you wouldnt know it- it makes me crazy. I dont like not having a calm place visually...or mentally for that matter. This week my goal is to make it through every room and clear out. We definetly dont have room for "extras" in the new house- simplify simplify simplify! Any ideas on organizing send them my way!

Trick or Treating as minnie mouse. she had SO MUCH FUN and keeps asking to go tick or tweeting again to get some "chocate!"

catch up time

I appologize to those of you who read my blog and have had to see the same post over and over lately. I have been in a rut and not felt like writing....things have been so busy that writing it all down seems very teadious. so I wont try. But I will try a little catch up. We bought a house- here in Adel and are officially homeowners. This weekend we are going to do some painting and outside work and are hoping to be moved by the end of the month. Though, I have not started packing yet because I wont lie, I am holding out for a shiny something for my finger prior to me moving. If I dont hold out- it wont ever happen. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.

I have FINALLY gotten a new vehicle, a shiny Buick Rendezvous crossover and I CANNOT tell you how nice it is to be able to get in my car in the morning and not have to worry about it starting, not have to worry about it breaking down on the side of the road, its comfy, its luxurious (it has heated seats- it doesnt take much for me to think its luxurious.) I just love it.

We have another mouse in the house....can I tell you how well I am NOT sleeping due to this? Everytime I fall asleep I dream of a mouse eating me or laying babies under my skin- its rediculous. I am ready to move!!!

I am getting sooo excited for the holidays. Vaughn has been singing about Jesus and Santa and pointing out everything red and green. I am waiting to move to decorate but am soo pumped. I have a large majority of my shopping done and am ready to enjoy the food, cookie exchanges, wrapping parties etc.

I have to share a sweet story- My point of this blog is to preserve the memories i have of V at every age and so, I have to share this- for my own memory...

While laying with V at bedtime, she nuzzled up to me, said "close your eyes mama" and then sang me "you are my sunshine, my onyee sunshine, you make ma happy when skys are CRAZY. You never know DDEEEAAAR how my mommy loves me, peeese dont take my sunshine awaaaaay." Then she kissed my chin and said "love you more mommy!" OHHH...what a dear!

She is starting to really love to pray. many a time while in the middle of a breakdown or when she is getting in trouble she will tell me "we need to pray." or if I am getting after her she says "its okay mommy, i pray for you." What a little stinker- but you cant resist a child in desire for prayer. She's just so precious. I used to dread bedtimes but they are so much fun now becuase she tells me stories, who got in trouble at daycare....last night at dinner she said "torin in timeout mommy. Torin Spit. I dont spit mommy. Boys spit. Boys NASTHY."
and she sings me the itsy bitsy spider, says her abcs (all the way through) she sings twinkle twinkle. I will have to get her on video sometime. She melts my heart and enriches my soul. She's my bestest.

Vaughn has come down with a bizzare rash. she has big spots....that to me look like chicken pox....and she is itching like crazy. Pediatrician thinks its a virus coming out through her skin instead of manifesting in her. Its now spread to a few on her legs and arms and up into her scalp. Very weird. she goes to her 2 year apt friday and they said they'd take a look but assured me it didn't "sound" like anything to worry about. I will post pics tomorrow but left my camera at work. they prescribed benedryl so she has gone to sleep 2 nights in arow in less than 10 minutes. I dont know what to do with all the extra time i have:) maybe i should work out or clean. haha.

we got her kitchen set put together that we got her for her birthday, she loves it....but we need to get some food cause its kinda boring without all the fun stuff.

I am SO ready for Friday. This week has gone fast but i am ready to get some stuff done. I am getting super excited for the holidays and LOVE this fall weather, cool, rainy...bright orange trees....just beautiful! Our year gets insane from here on out. V's bday party with my fam this weekend, next weekend is halloween and rudy's birthday, then Gabi's birthday, then my birthday, then thanksgiving and black friday, then dads birthday, then Christmas parties for work, then Christmas! I just love this time of year! Got a good start on my holiday shopping and am about half done or so....thats really good for me!

I got my car back...finally and its already acting up again. I am looking at a new vehicle tomorrow so we will see how that goes. hopefully I get this one traded before it ends up back in the shop. I am sick of it and ready for someone else to have my crappy car!

off to find ice cream cake recipe for V's party...MMmmm

Color Drive

Just a couple hours ago we got home from Illinois- it was cOlOr DrIvE Weekend which is my favorite weekend! We had so much fun and I had prayed all week that we would just be able to kick back, relax and enjoy the trip without being stressed about anything having to do with travel. God answered those prayers:) This was Rudy's first color drive and i thought FOR sure he would be annoyed by the driving and viewing of the leaves and stopping at a million garage sales etc...but he LOVED it. We got lost and ended up an hour and a half from our destination and he just kept saying how beautiful the "mountains" were... (mountains equals rolling hills) and we stopped and took pictures and if Vaughn hadnt been asleep in the car we would have stopped at the local restaurants and had a drink or pie and talked to the locals.

While we had a great time, we were also all sick. Myself and some of the kiddos with the upper respiratory stuff, fever, chills etc. Rudy and some others were sick with the stomach flu. Blah.
V and I opted out of the hay ride not only because of how late it ended up being but because of the cold...and being sick...didn't sound like a great combo. We really had so much fun this weekend....the drive home (8 hours with the stops) took it all out of me!

Its always sad leaving my sweet grandma. She has to be so lonely there and she just loves talking to people and telling stories and we do cherish every single time we get to see her and spend with her. I wish she lived closer!

This week is another long M-F and then I have a tupperware party on Saturday (exciting!) and Vaughn's 2nd birthday party on Sunday (super super exciting)
We still have not put together her kitchen set (epic fail on our part) but there are a jillion pieces and Rudy wants some assistance so we will have to wait until some night this week to do it. At this point V is content playing with the metal sink that came with it and the pot holders etc. She's a sweet girly and so smart....it was so fun listening to her sing and pray and count and say the "abcdeg's" in the back seat. sweet sweet little lady with a strong strong will.

I gotta go to bed....gotta get rested since I am out of sick time at work. Blah-- its so lame to give paretns the same amount of sick time as those without kids...you should get twice as much. Mine has been used up by Vaughn- her sitter being sick/gone and the few days I used for myself. I hate that!

pumpkin patch bust

looks like Gabi is trying to warm those hands!

looking at the goats.....

Gotta love gords!

*** THIS PICTURE CRACKS ME UP*** this was the mood of the day. Vaughn: You gotta be kidding me....THIS is what she was talking about? Andre:Im gonna run over there and steel that boys gloves! Gabi:This is rediculous.

Amanda and I have been single over the weekends lately and decided to take the kiddos to a pumpkin patch. I had built up the excitement in V and she was so ready to go. Why did we pick TODAY to go? Its maybe 47 tops and windy. As you can see in the photos...the kids less than enjoyed themselves. We got a few pumpkins but were there no more than a half hour...and that included porta potty break. They had some super neat pumpkins and I wish the weather had been nicer and our men could have gone and I would have come home with a truckload....we'll have to try again in a week or two.

Frustration

Frustration is getting the best of me...both with Vaughn and with my house. If I have to stare at another white wall or space that is cluttered with junk I will scream. I feel like, being stuck between this place and a house, i am hesitant to hang things or decorate or do much of anything feeling like I will have to tear it all down in a month.

Vaughn....the sweet girl she is has sure turned into the terrible twos. She refuses to fall asleep and its been taking me a min of an hour to get her to fall asleep at night, she screams and cries and throws fits, she is sassy, demanding and just mean sometimes with her hitting and hair pulling. I love her to pieces, and I feel bad for getting frustrated with her but lord help me! She is just so whiny all the stinking time. I know she picks up alot of bad stuff at daycare from some of the boys there and is always telling me who was naughty or who the sitter yelled at that day. and I know part of it is her age. either way- its beyond frustrating. I feel like i if i were home with her, id have more time and more control to reverse these issues. She was doing so well with sleeping, we didnt have to lay with her etc, just take her up there and lay her down...2 min and she was out. Now, i dread bed time the entire day. its not fair to her to go to bed upset and its not fair tha i have to dread that should be sweet time with her.

on top of all that we have a mouse problem. Knock on wood we havent seen one in at least a day now so hopefully they are spreading the words that those that come in dont come out..but we'll see.

Rudy's dad passed away tonight at 8:40. Please keep your family in his prayers. We will miss him very much-


Rest Peacefully Lito.

I have a very sad story. Today over my lunch I went to Kohls to get some pants for V. I had some spare time so I went in the dressing room to try on some clothes. there was only one other stall full and it was the one next to mine. There were two little kids in their with their mom and the girl was probably 2 or younger and the boy was probably 4. They were singing nicely to each other and the little girl was squeeling and screeming from excitement of her brother. Apparently the mom thought they were being too loud and she started reprimanding them. She went from 1 to 100 in point two seconds. all of a sudden I heard the loudest bangs on the wall and the little girl started screaming the most horrendous scream I have ever heard. The boy started screaming too and kept saying "stop hurting my sister!" "Stop doing that to my sister. " Then you'd hear another bang and he'd start screaming....then the baby again, then the bigger kid and the mom was SCREAMING at these kids while beating the snot out of them. I thought I was going to throw up. It was so loud, you could tell she was picking up the girl, beating on her and THROWING her back in the cart because the cart would slam up against the wall. I stood there, bawling and praying for those sweet babies and I wanted nothing more than to bust down that wall and sweep up those precious kids. I wanted so badly to call the cops right there and have them listen, It took everything I had in me not to bust down that door and beat the daylights out of that woman. (I wont even call her a mom because she was far from a mom.) I tell you, I was sick in a way I have never been sick before. I through on my clothes and left to get security. There, outside the dressing room, stood many many women just listening, not getting security, not assisting, just watching this go down. I was outraged. I could not decide what was the smartest thing to do but I wanted to help those kids. I told security who went in there. I have no idea what they did or what happened after that but I have thought about that all day. What was it that snapped in that women to cause her to beat her children. How bad does it get at home? Are they okay? Will she someday beat them to death? Did the security call the police? Was she allowed to cool off and go home as if nothing happened? I have thought of nothing else but how badly I wish I would have been the strength and words those children didnt have. I should have reached under that door and offered a hand for them to come out to, I should have yelled over there for her to get her hands off of those precious babies. I wanted to go off. I wanted to tell her to beat on me instead of those babies. She has forever changed who they are as people, she has forever changed me as a mother and a citizen. I will never forget that scream full of fear.

Pray for those babies. Pray for all the babies being abused, without a voice, without a way out. Pray for those kiddos who have no where safe.

Great weekend.

Stuffin Elmer

Rudy's niece Kaysha came into town to stay with us for a few nights. Vaughn and her got some good bonding time in.

She wasnt too sure about the straw/hay/whatever its called.

Cheering on the hawks in her cheer uniform.

From sports to glam.

Dad and Elmer- They are pretty tight.

For as long as I can remember we have been stuffing Elmer in the fall to sit on the porch and watch the house. We love Elmer- Vaughn on the other had has had nightmares about him since this night. " I dont yike papa's friend Emmer"

What decorates our fridge. My little picaso!


This weekend was just what I needed. While I got NOTHING done that I had planned, it was fun to relax, hang out with Kaysha and on Saturday we had "Gourmet night" at my parents and made awesome food. It was a great night, beautiful weather, and Elmer making all in one night.

The week has started again and as hard as it was for met o get up this morning, it was GREAT to wake up to rain and cold weather. It sure started my week off right.
We start Biggest Loser IMT tomorrow at work, we're having weekly meetings and weigh ins. Wish me luck, we all are putting in 10 dollars and the winner wins the pot of money! That would be nice!

Have a nice FALL week everyone.

abstract rules fail

I have been thinking alot lately of all the virtues and "rules of life" that we all hear and know and idealy would be great but how abstract they are and how much they fail us, or we fail them because trully what do they mean. I think back on my life and realize that many of them I ignored becuase they were not realistic, I had no true idea of what they meant and they seemed poetic and ideal vs realistic. I dont want Vaughnie to ever feel like I give her unattainable rules or standards so I have been thinking about the things I knew but didnt understand and how to better explain them to her without the cliche when she gets older.

Example: We are always told growing up in church to "GUARD YOUR HEART." Really? What? I now, just recently, have truly grasped the meaning of that. But growing up, even until probably this year, I thought it was such a cliche stupid thing to say. Really, guard your heart? I thought it meant you shouldn't get close to anyone except your future spouse, guard it from getting hurt, the only way to do this is to avoid meaningful relationships with people, I couldn't hire a soldier to man the entrance to my emotions and I couldn't build a high gate around my heart so I just through out that life lesson. I can honestly say that I just didn't get it. No explaination was ever given about it.. All I remember EVER being told was "guard your heart." And it went in one ear and out the other. I now get it and wish it had not gone out the other ear....

I feel like that has been the case with alot of lessons I am just now learning. I had heard them before but they were never explained, never spoken in laymen terms, never broken down with examples....just said and moved on and you were expected to believe them and know what they meant. Well I didnt.

Its kind of like telling a teenager "dont use credit cards." Really? Why not. Unless you sit with a bill and break down what you pay now vs what you will pay with plastic, the monthly payments, the commitment that it takes to pay off a credit card and explain the anxiety having debt can cause, its not real- you dont know what it means other than someone thinks its a wise choice not to use them. In my opinion thats not enough. No, people dont learn from others mistakes all the time, but it has to be a rule that makes sense, that has substance.

I am not saying i didnt understand my parents rules, most of them i clearly understood- I am just saying that there are somethings now in life that I wish had been clearer then. Hindsight right? I didnt ever realize that I didnt get it. I didnt get that my thinking was completely off and that this rule (along wiht others) were not just antient sayings, but they needed evaluation.

Anyone else feel like this?

Glorious Victory

What a win HAWKS!!! Our house was beaming...though interest was not as high during the second half because it was so clear that we had not only stomped them but taken our shoe and ground them deep into their own soil. Must have been ruff to be a cyclone today. hahahahahah.

We went shopping today and stopped into build a bear...mainly just to see if she would be interested in going there at this age or not....I was thinking of having some friends of hers go there for her birthday- that is out of the picture now because she would. not. let. go of this puppy they had there....so, I called rudy and he said just to get it for her. i really wanted him to be there becuase i think its special but she had done so great with me trying on clothes etc that I decided she needed a reward anyways. she is LOVING that silly dog. Though, she did cry and cry and cry while stuffing it becuase she thought she was "hurting puppy." I can imagine from a childs mind that it looks very painful to be stuffed. sweet girl.

I am so anxious to get going on my holiday shopping but know that I will be wanting to do it from now until Christmas and I am scared if I start now I will wish I had waited and gotten somehting else later or else that I will just continue to shop from now until Christmas....neither of those are ideal. I am getting some good ideas for Vaughn and filled up the amazon.com cart with gifts for her but havent let myself order them. I prefer to go to the store and shop, i like to see the things, play with them, read the backs of them and carry them around in case i change my mind while doing other shopping. Online, its so final...click continue and your done....and returns are so much harder. I picked up a book the other day for a birthday present....and she found it and has been asking about it since. (Its a mickey mouse seek and find book and she is currently obsessed with mickey mouse clubhouse). It might be hard to hide gifts....maybe ill have to keep stuff at my parents house until the holidays. I am so excited for her this year because i think she will "get it" a little more.

I am also SUPER excited for the color drive. I cannot stinking wait. September seems like its already been a long month and I think that is because I am such a planner...and september is an empty month for me. october thru December is packed with plans....


i am still trying to find a birthday idea for vaughn's party. I have ideas- but with house looking and not knowing where we will be or if we will be moving that weekend, i dont know the date to plan the party or where to plan it. hope we get something figured out soon!

Have a fun weekend. hopefully we are out of the 80's this coming week and back down to the high 60s. Perfect.

Birthdays, Baseball and Bonfires.

What a fun long weekend we have had! Plans were to head to the Quad Cities and visit Rudy's family and see his aunts who were flying in to stay with his dad for a month. However, after some turn of events, Rudy decided it was better for us to stay here and he would go up Saturday night and stay for abit and come home. It was going to be quite Chaotic and full of mahem and he was afraid that I would get overstimulated (I'm worse than a child in that aspect and my mood quiickly turns sour) and that Vaughn wouldnt have space to play and be on her schedule. It ended up being for the best becuase we were able to use some baseball tickets I had lying around that my work had given me at the beginning of summer and Friday night was the perfect night for baseball. A long time ago I committed a major sort of lie and signed Rudy and I up for Red Robin Birthday Burgers every. single. month. They go to our junk mail so typically we miss them but I cought mine this month and printed it out. Basically the night was free. We enjoyed red robin for dinner(which i think gave me slight food poisoning) and then went to the game and let me tell you- the weather and atmosphere was just what the doc ordered. We had a blast and the fire works were stinking awesome. the best ive seen I think. It was so much fun. We made it to four games in all this summer as a family and rudy made it to many more with his work and baseball team. Now its time for Football mindset.

Speaking of football....GO HAWKS! The game on Saturday was too close for comfort but made for an exciting game, a great start to the saturday and full blown excitement in the kinney family for some good ole Hawkeye football season!!! This coming weekend will be football all around in our household. IA/IA state game saturday and the Bears kickoff game on Sunday. I wont tell Rudy, but I am prettty excited for both games!

Sunday night we were invited to my parents for a bonfire. We had so much fun. My mom made a cute picnic and we had some good ole fashion bonfire food (beans, hotdogs, chips, roasted mallows) and papa and gma had the golf cart out for rides. While the kiddos came close to roasting themselves many times in the fire, we got through the night in one piece (and non-roasted kiddos). They are so funny togheter- gabi rolled down the hill and within seconds, vaughn and andre were following....i love that they had no care of grass stains, bugs, or rolling into the fire) We had some good conversations and did a (pathetic) round of story telling. Andre enchanted us with "sky...star....sky...star" for the latter part of the evening and Gabi was excited to tell about preschool. I just love when we are all able to get together and relax. I wish I would have set up my tent and we could have camped out under the "star.....sky....star....sky".

And that brings us to today. No big plans other than a walk and some painting time with Vaughn. Laundry and picking up. Rudy will be home this afternoon and Vaughn has been asking about him all morning. I hope everyone is having an awesome long weekend. The best part is...this means only a 4 day work week! YIPPEE!!!

I have another great blog for you all to read. Again, this is from a tip off my cousin Meghan in Louisiana. This one is a very interesting view on football dollars and God dollars. Super interesting article. This is not a blog I read daily or weekly but occasionally jump to it and this was a great post! http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2009/08/cost.html.

Our weekend was low key and lovely. We had the windows open and the brisk air coming in and making fall the main theme of our weekend. Rudy's work picnic was at jester Park on Saturday evening and we loved being in the open air and walking down by the water. Vaughn even tried her attempt at skipping rocks. i got half way there and realized i forgot my camera so i dont have pictures of this beautiful outing. sunday again was low key and even a bit boring- cleanign wasnt sufficing so Vaughn and I went to the craft store and picked out stuff to make the wreath for our door(pictured above) when we got home we lit a cinnimon candle and got to work....soon to follow was pumpkin bread and baked apples. YUMO My favorite! I am so in love with this weather!

Vaughn and Rudy were both sick this weekend *Vaughn better by Sunday mornign which is when rudy really started getting it* Vaughn still has a very congested cough but no more fever, rudy's got a head full of snot, but no fever. I think we're in the mend and fingers crossed mommy skipped it this time around.

Happy Fall Y'all

Vaughn had an exceptionally hard day at daycare today. Josie (her sitter) called often to keep me posted but she just cried, sat in the corner by herself reading books and crying or stood in the middle watching everyone play and sucking her thumb. let me tell you that I wanted to bust down the walls of my work and run out and get her. I couldnt get home fast enough. My heart was literally in pieces. its never fun or easy to be at work when she's at the sitter but it is nearly impossible to focus or sit in my seat when I know my sweet baby girl is sad or missing me. Josie said she would stand at the gate and look down the road crying for mommy. Makes me cry just typing this. We will see how she is tomorrow- i may take the day off if she has another difficult day. She may just be getting to that age where she has a hard time leaving us. she loves it at josies, but just not today. She told me tonight about a hundred times while caressing my face " I miss you mommy." she just wanted to snuggle tonight. She's precious. We've been singing "Jesus loves the little children." and we point to my cheeks when we say red, yellow is her hair, black is her baby doll and white is alfie. she loves it. i love that she loves it.

I have been virtual Christmas shopping and hoping to get started in a month or so....cant wait. i love the holidays coming up, Fall- Thanksgiving, halloween, Christmas. Vaughn's birthday- I lvoe them all.


Last night we celebrated my mom and sisters birthday- i miss us all getting together- there are always tons of laughs. The kiddos remind me of myself and my cousins my age. They just have a blast together and it makes me excited to see how the goofy group of 3 grows in the future....such a beautiful group of kids.

Vaughn with "Lito" (rudy's dad) eating melon

Vaughn playing with Lita's perfume

my happy love

Though this is sideways, its a video of my little cheerleader. She gets the biggest kick out of this..and is pretty good if i do say so myself:) Go Hawkeyes? Maybe someday!

Sleepy. Yawn...heavy eyes...stretch...yawn..snuggle up...thats me today in a nutshell. I think the cooler weather, rain and gloomy skies are making me feel lazy! I am getting soo excited for fall. I cant wait to sleep with the windows open, make fall foods, see the gorgeous leaves, sport the sweat pants...Im just too excited. My mom emailed us about Christmas today too, its only 4 months away! crazy! im super excited though. I think V will really be into it this year!

As far as the house hunt, Rudy is talking with the loan guy friday and then may make an offer *hopefully*. Something will work out.

I am tired. I feel like it should be the weekend again. We went to the fair this evening to see "Coolio" What tool bag. It was fun...funny....hillarious actually to see 5,000 people gathered to see a 45 year old famous rapper from the 90's. Made me chuckle. Vaughn was getting down with the rest of the weirdos and they were all loving her moves. She cracks me up. She loved the fair- I loved the people watching (and the food). I think her favorite part was riding the bus back and getting stopped at the train tracks- she thought that was pretty neat.
I, being the horrible mom i am, forgot my camera. I FORGOT MY CAMERA! What?!? I have pictures from this weekend at Rudy's parents but I'm too tired to post them. I'll do that tomorrow night. For now, I'll lay my head down and rest a while. Have a fun week...summer is almost over (do i get a hooray?!?) enjoy it while you can. And then comes the real fun!

We are in the Quad Cities. I cannot sleep. Ever since I have read Katie Davis's blog I feel like my "serving heart" has been dormant for so long. I have not been active in doing things for others just becuase I know its right. I have been so caught up and overwhelmed and entangled in my own life that I forget how lucky I am, how fortunate i am to know and trust the Lord and how desperate others are. While I am not in the place, nor do I feel called to move to Uganda or any other far away country such as Katie was called to do, I have always felt called to help serve others in some way. I feel like I am wasting my days in working in the "corporate world" and making no impact on the peoples lives I spend so much time with each day. time goes by so quickly and i have been thinking lately- what have I done, what am I doing to make any sort of difference at all. who's lives have I enriched, who's spirits have I lifted? No one's today is usally my thought. I hate that. I must learn to block it all out and focus. Focus. Focus.

I worked at the state fair today. What a mess of people. I swear there has to be a dress code to get in....wear the most bizarre, inappropriate, trashy clothes you can find and grow a mullet....or a beard if your a women. seriously. I don't see people dressing like that any other time of year- but fair time- look out! Its fun to people watch though-

We are going up to see Rudy's family tomorrow in the quad cities. I have so much to do that I shouldnt be blogging and i just dont feel like doing any of it. I need to clean the fridge- lame, hate that job....i need to vaccum and mop-but no one will complain while im gone if its not done til sunday...I finished laundry and now need to pack and I am hoping to convince rudy that him doing the dishes would be a very generous and manly thing to do:) Wish me luck. Poor sweet Vaughn is still not in bed. If she gets a bit beyond tired, she's done for and its like she'll never fall asleep. Wild one she is.

I am exhausted today...my mind is running a million miles a minute and i just need ten minute of peace. I cant think about any one thing for more than a few minutes before my mind is off to the next thing....its funny, none of the stuff I think about is anything that needs to be done now...its ideas for a "what if" in home daycare, its making a list of birthday gifts ideas for Vaughn and my other family members, its pre holiday shopping in my head, its homework and paperwork that need to get done in the next few weeks, its house things, its calendar planning upcoming weekends, its budgeting, its everything but what needs to be on my mind in that very moment. i wish i was one of those people that took each day at a time but my mind just doesn't work that way. I am such a planner that I am always living two months in advance. I hate that, i love it at times but mostly I hate it. I wish I could just live today- not think about next month at all. Its exhausting. Rudy emailed me the other day asking what plans we had for the upcoming weekends. My response was a page long calendar of every weekend from now until the new year. His replied simply "you're crazy." That's how i feel sometimes when i really think about my spinning mind. Crazy.

I think I am in love...

With a house that is. I found one today, actually two that would be perfect- one....I am trully madley deeply in love with. Beautiful. Only downer, a little more than we wanted to spend (by a few thousand) and only 2 bedroom....but other than that its 100% what i want. hmmm....

On another note. I have been feeling VERY lame lately about my blog. Its so mundane and always the same crap. Ill try to liven it up some....my cousin (ironically also meghan kinney ....now married and meghan matt) has a blog and I read hers daily- so inspirational. She is adopting two african babies and writes of their adoption journeys and they are doing some amazing fundraising through shirts, bags, etc on her website. www.chrisandmeghan.com

Meghan posted a link to a girls (Katie Davis) blog who moved to Uganda when she was 18 and started working in an orphan and is now do amazing work for the Lord and has not only adopted 13 of her own chidlren, she also takes in sick kids in Uganda and looks after them and supplies them medicine, food and love while they recover- many she has held while they die, she feeds over 300 kids daily and teaches them school which most of them have never heard of...she is only 20 years old! what an inspiration. Ive been following her blog and I just sit and cry everynight becuase she is so amazing, her stories touch your soul, make it hard to sleep at night, make you smile and be filled with joy and make me feel like i am doing nothing productive! I am attaching a link and will also try to post a thing you can click on to the side....watch for that. I think its important to read things that inspire you, make you laugh, make you cry...not just my boring life that i write the same thing over and over...so ill try to start mixing it up and spicing it up some.

click here to read the most inspirational blog ever. Katie Davis is her name. you will NOT regret looking into this blog. Makes me want to change my life.

On a different note, I am ITCHING to get creative....I need to paint, create, scrapbook, something! I have so many ideas that could be small buisnesses floating in my head and I feel like thats what i am supposed to do. Not insurance, not a crappy nine to five, but a life that I BUILD, that I produce, make, sell, create, do something that I can be proud of...I am just anxious to start doing something, bringin in some extra green, enjoy, relax....ahh doesnt it sound perfect...now to come up with the "plan" and procede. I have several ideas that I could sell. There is an awesome website called www.etsy.com that is amazing and is all homemade things to sell...its huge...like ebay huge and you can sell anything and everything as long as its homemade. Check it out- there is everything from clothes, excessories, journals, bath and beauty products, art....everything. pretty awesome!

I hope you all check out the awesome sites Ive added here today. You'll love them.

list of my life:

Things I've been doing:
House hunting with Rudy- fun, exhuasting, sometimes creepy and exciting

Taking care of an annoying dog who threw up all over my house the other night.

Keeping up with a sassy vaughn, trying to chase her down because she refuses to stay with me in public and falling down hills becuase I am running after her. Loving her new sassy line when she is mad that she's going to "take my sunshine away!" Too cute that that is the worst thing she can think of at this time.

Working and wishing I could afford to stay at home with my girl

Going crazy wanting to decorate something- a new house perhaps?

The chiropractor- he's eating up all my time and Im not sure he's even doing a bit of good.

Thinking about all the things coming up that we have going on...every weekend its something...

Wanting to clear out the clutter that my living room has accumulated and no where to put it. I HATE CLUTTER.

Wishing I had more time to play with Vaughn.
******************************
Things I am excited about:
Finally deciding on a house soon hopefully.
Birthdays
Black Friday shopping (so im thiinking a little ahead)
Fall
color Drive
Being done with summer classes

s.a.t.u.r.d.a.y.....hooray

Its saturday. Hip Hip Hooray. We are doing alot of hanigng out, picking up, and playing today. We got up late today (amen) at like 6:45 and let me tell you i never in all my life thought I would say 6:45 is late. Wow. I have been really feeling bad for V lately becuase she's so bored with all the toys she has. She loves to do art projects and thats great, but as far as toys, she just goes from toy to toy and seems disinterested. So, we are taking a bunch to the consingment store today and hit a few garage sales this morning. She got an awesome leap frog grocery shopping cart with plastic groceries and a built in hand held scanner and when you scan the groceries it tells you how many and what it is and then does a fun song. Its super cute and she loves it. She also got a felt story book of cinderella with the felt characters. She's been content all morning playing with those two things....that and looking at the pictures in my medical dictionary. weird. maybe we have a doctor on our hands.

There is really not much going on....Tomorrow my sister and i are taking the kids down to see my grandparents. We are cooking them dinner and will hang out....should be nice. we dont see them often enough.

Oh!!! and Vaughn-elise went poop in the BIG GIRL POTTY TODAY!!!! She was so proud, so was I....whoop whoop. what a celebration we had. She just hugged and hugged me she was so excited. Sweet. She's growing up :(

sick day garb

Artistic photos : By Vaughn-elise

Vaughn's first experience with the digital camera came out with some funky photos. Love them.

sick day.....

traffic jam in the living room

telling her baby to "smile"

Gross, but cute.

All ready for church.