TGIF

ITs friday..(sigh of relief.) Its been a long week, but the weekend has finally arrived. Oh how I love weekends. We have a busy one this weekend. I am going out with some work friends tonight, my parents are watching vaughnna until rudy gets off work. Tomorrow We have dinner with some friends of mine who also have babies. We are all meeting at my friend Deena's house and going to play and have lunch. Sunday is of course church and then we are taking vaughn in to get her first pictures taken!! I cant wait!! Its just trying to decide what she will wear. She is changing everyday. So fast, she is looking like such a little lady- I just love watching her and listening to her talk. She always sounds so excited, so happy that she cant even contain herself. She has laughed a few times...the start of a laugh, more of a chuckle and i cant wait until she just lets loose and giggles. I hope i am the first one to hear it!

in a rhythm.

I think we might be getting there. Into a routine that is. Since I started work, i have felt like I cant get a schedule for the evenings really down. Sometimes we are home, sometimes we need to run errands...its just a challenge. Lately though she has been such a trooper. She always seems tired when we get home. Ready for a bottle and a nap- but her naps in the evening tend to make her not sleep well. So, i have been keeping her up til 7ish, sometimes 8 and then letting her go down and she has been sleeping til around 5-6 am without waking!!!!!! i dont know the last time i had a full nights sleep. She wakes up for a bottle and diaper and goes back down til around 8. Its only been three times but i do miss the middle of the night snuggling. I wake up still, worried and go check on her. I think she sleeps better in her own room in her crib. She is quickly outgrowing her cradle and slefish me wants to keep her in our room as long as possible. But, seeing how well she sleeps in her own room is a great thing. I think when she wakes up she is scared and unsure of where she is/where we are... but i think that will pass too. All of these changes in such a short time, food, sleeping in a different room, sleeping through the night...wow. Its all happening so fast. I knew the changes would go quicker when i am at work- but WOW. i really miss my days with her and since she goes to bed so early- I miss our nights too. It makes me sad and excited all in one that she is changing. We bought a video camera with a bit of our tax money and its very nice to know that i will have these memories of her changing and of her so little for the rest of our lives. I am excited that she will be able to look back and watch herself as a baby on tv. I often wonder what i was like as a child and how i acted, what i sounded like, what my quirks were...and she wont have to wonder. We watched the video my sister took at the hospital and after we got home (she let us borrow her camera for a few weeks) and it made me so sad. Not a bad sad, just an "ahhh, i miss that noise, that face etc. kind of sad. She has already changed so much in just a few short months.

Things at work are becoming stressful, still nothing works right, we spend half hte day trying to figure out why this or that wont work like it s hould, calling the IT guy...its just frustrating. I do like my job and more so the people there, but when you start a new job you want to get going and keep going and not get hung up on problems the first couple months your there.

I wait all summer and fall for snow. I always pray for a white Christmas. I love sledding and snowmen, hot chocolate and blankets, warm fires and hot soups.... but I am SICK AND TIRED of this weather. I think it is wearing on everyone. I have noticed everyone seems edgier, more frutrated and rude. It must be the weather. I long for the spring so badly that I notice my own attitude suffering. Its horrible. We all need a change. An open window, a flower, some sunshine, thunderstorms, some warmth. ahhh....hurry spring!!!

update...

Horray, yippee, that-a- girl, rock on! My sweet baby girl must have know how much i needed my rest. She slep 8.5 hours last night without waking up!! YAY!!!

sleep deprived.

For some reason, ve's naps have been non existant the past two days. Normally, she goes down easily and sleeps for a couple hours on the weekends and during the week she usually sleeps at 6:30 til around 8 and then gets up for several hours before heading in for the night. This routine works for us since rudy doesnt get home until 9:30. However, saturday she didnt nap at all! So, i let her go to bed bed early. She actually went to bed for the night around 7. I woke her up to feed her before i went to bed (the pediatrician recommended this to help her sleep longer- i think its not working at all.) we dont really wake her wake her, just take her to the rocker, give her a bottle while she's still half asleep and put her back in her craddle. But last night- she decided that 2 am was now morning time and she was up and ready to party. I have a hard time staying patient in these situations as anyone who knows me knows that i am a sleeper, i need and love my sleep. I am one of those people that needs at least 9 hours and would do better with 10 or more... i dont like to sleep all day but the sleep i get, i need to be quality. She has made me have to alter my sleeping as all babies do. I am fine with this, but last night was trying- to say the least. She was up and "Scream talking" like she does. She's not upset-she is just discovering her voice and God blessed her with a set of lungs! She was kicking and scream talking and laughing....spitting out her pass, throwing off her blankets, just playing....FOR ALMOST THREE HOURS!!!!!! I am sure she woke the neighbors and needless to say, rudy and i were also awake for three hours! She finally went back to sleep around 5 and woke back up at 6....she hasnt had a nap since. I dont know what to do....I lay her in her crib for naps and she usually puts herself to sleep. I have done nothign different this weekend. She will fall asleep for 10 min, maybe 20 and then she is up...and unhappy, and tired and fussy. I feel like when this happens, she should go to bed early- but apparnetly that messes everything up. SIGH. I just dont know what to do to help her sleep. Everyone says she should be sleeping through the night- but maybe she just isnt ready? Her first stretch of the night is usually 6 hours, but then its up every 2-3. I figure, she will do it when she is ready... but until then, im holding my eyes open.
I honestly think i will miss getting up with her in the night though, since i started working- her night feedings are our big snuggle times. I love them- maybe i would love it if there were less of them too, but i just love how cuddly and calm she is at night.
SIGH- I must get back to cleaning and the laundry is calling. I need a nap!

a great day!

today has been a great day! we all slept in and then went to des moines. I needed work clothes, vaughn needed some bigger clothes and we decided the weather was perfect to get out for the day. So we did. We got lunch, did lots of shopping and are now home and about to watch a movie.

Enjoy the pictures of vaughns first pigtails! What a beaut!

Another one bites the dust....

Another week that is. I am so thankful that today is the start of the weekend. I woke up not feeling well but went to work anyways. I ended up feeling better and its a guarenteed good time with the people i work with. I have realized that working again isnt as horrible as i thought it would be. Do I love it? Absolutely not. I do like getting a paycheck though and socializing with people my own age. It makes me feel like an adult again. But I do still have a hard time leaving in the mornings and can never wait to get out of work to go and pick up vaughn. I miss her so much all day and I just feel like I am missing so much of her and her growing up. It breaks my heart to think that she is changing and I am not there to witness it. She has gotten into the habit of sleeping/napping around 6:30-7 and sleeping until around 9:30 or 10 and then wakes up for an hour or so. While its my time to snuggle with her, i get sad that she isnt awake and interacting with me. Thats part of the reason I love weekends so much. We get to spend all the time together in the world, sleeping in, hanging out, running errands, going to church. I just love it.

On a different note, i have found the best childrens second hand store that just opened up a couple months ago. It was hidden but i found it on an outting with my work friends and went back when they were open. Its called Charlie's. So for anyone with young kids, or if you are pregnant (they have maternity clothes too) you should check it out. Its behind the strip mall near target and right across from the funny bone. Adorable clothes, super super cheap and TONS of selection. Its so cute. My new favorite thrift store I believe. I don t think they have baby items like strollers and stuff but im not positive as i didnt get past the infant clothes.

We had vaughn;s 4 month checkup on monday. Poor girl had to get 4 shots. Its so hard to watch that. We found out that she is 17 pounds and 25.5 inches long. ( no wonder she isnt fitting into her clothes anymore! HURRY SPRING. Im tired of buying winter clothes when she can only wear them another month or two.) They said she is very healthy and ahead of her game as far as her skills go. I knew it all along, she's a genius! Overall things are good. I gotta get some cleaning done tonight and for once, Im in the mood! I better hurry before the mood fades!

What a big girl!!

Now that, was an exerience!

YUCK! SICK! what is this sticky stuff?

OH! This is the food you've been telling me about.

Listen dad,if im big enough to eat, im big enough to do it myself!

No, you say? Well fine! I'm done then!

Ok, one more bite maybe!

As you all know- 4 months old means vaughn-elise is big enough for cereal. This is exciting for me as she has seemed insatiable lately. Its sad too, that four months have passed and she isnt fully reliant on being bottle fed, anymore. For her though, I think she is going to love real food, and I think it will help her sleep better at night on a full tummy. After a shopping trip in town today- we decided to give "big girl food" a whirl. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did! It was stinking hilarious.

TGIF

My peanut butter just chillin....slightly overwhelmed by the flash:) but beautiful as ever!

hanging out on valentines day.

Thank Goodness its Friday! I have been ready for the weekend since, well, since Monday. This week at work has been stressful. We started our actual jobs which is easy- but not when nothing works, we came in monday and everything we had been trained with, wasnt working....so we were on new networks, using new software and new phones....it was crazy. and the week has gone downhill since then. Wednesday is pay day and what can i say, thats always a huge sigh of relief when that comes around!!!! Amanda's shower is on sunday and we are very excited for that. We have the kinney tradition of dinner at my parents tomorrow night- we all pick a recipe we wouldnt make on our own and get together and cook and eat and its alot of fun. I hope the weekend doesnt go too fast! I am enjoying the night in with Vaughn. She is getting so funny...she has found her voice and boy does she love using it!! she will talk over anyone. She belly laughed the other day for a short moment and it melted my heart. She's so emotional- just like her mama...she wants what she wants and she wants it NOW. I cant believe today is her 4 month old birthday. That is insane to me...somedays i feel like i have known her my whole life and others i feel like she just arrived a week ago. I tell myself that i have known her in my heart forever, in flesh, a short while. Happy 4 month baby! We get to start cereal soon- if she's anything like her momma and daddy- she's gonna LOVE her real food:)

I must say, I have never minded winters. I always like the cute accessories like hats and gloves and love the way it looks outside. I cant imagine not having snow on Chrismtas (although its happened before.) and I usually love the whole feel of winter....this year however, IVE HAD ENOUGH. Its starting to dampen my spirit. I hate not wanting to go anywhere because its so cold and too dangerous to drive. I dont know how much more I can take. I am ready for some sunshine, some evening walks, thunderstorms, and to get vaughn out in the sun!! HURRY SUMMER!

Work has been trying lately as we have just started our actual jobs this week and everything, of course, has gone wrong. It has been difficult learning a new role and the rules and the steps to doing everything, but when nothing in your office works (yes, nothing, not the phones, not the computers etc.) it makes it horribly challenging and I have found myself more frustrated because of that! It is hard to be okay leaving your baby when you have to go to work, only to be unable to do your job. I dont know if that makes any sense.

The sitter had the day off today so VE got to spend the day with Grandma. I know she had a blast! She's been talking about it all night. ;) She does love spending time with her grandparents and I am blessed to have them so close to help with her and for her to grow up knowing them. I do realize alot of kids dont get that opportunity. My mom cleaned the apt today while she was here. I never realize just how messy I have let it become until she comes and works her magic. What would i do without her? I do wish her cleaning ability was something I had been given. APprently, i didnt get those genes! Cleaning- after it gets out of hand- overhwelmes me. The idea of it makes my head spin and i never know where to start. My mom has been good about helping me learn to not look at it all and decide where to start, just to pick a spot, a desk, a corner, anything and start from there.... like all areas of your life...:) Thanks mom!

Tomorrow is Valentines day...so happy love day everyone. I think my bf shannon is coming over and we will probably do a girls dinner. I do love spending time with her and have been so blessed that she stops over often after work to hang out and do dinner. It definetly makes the nights not seem so lonely and VE just loves her to death. True friends are rare, but I am blessed to have the ones I have. I know she will lighten the spirit around my place. She always does. Its much needed!

Banana baby

I appologize for not keeping up with my blog. During the week, all i want to do is come home and snuggle and play with v-e. And on the weekends, i feel so busy catching up with the things i forgot to do during the week that it rarely crosses my mind to update. We are getting ready to call it an early night. It was a good weekend- I went with my new work friends to the funny bone on saturday night and had a really great time. We stayed at my parents house on sat. night since it was so cold and blustery- i didnt want to get vaughnna out after i got back to pick her up. Chuch is always refreshing and then I came home and we got some good play time /nap time in. I just got off the phone with my grandma margaret. I miss her dearly. I cant finish a conversation with her without being tearful. I miss my grandpa wayne terribly, I think about him every single day still. Usually in the car- And i can hear his chuckle and the way he would say..."elt, whats so funny??!! Ahh, here she goes! " everytime i would get the giggles. What i wouldnt give to have him back for a day. A minute. I cant imagine being my gma and being so lonely. It breaks my heart that he never got to meet vaughn- that she never got to know him. What an amazing amazing man he was. I wonder if he met her before she came to me. She has alot of his spirit. Stubborn and lighthearted. She makes his facial expressions sometimes and i cry because i miss him and i cry because i love her so much. I could never imagine my life without him and i cant ever imagine it without her. I worry about my grandma everyday. That her car will go in the ditch and no one will know to come get her. Or that she will fall on the ice getting out of her car going to her house and she will be cold. I worry that she is sad and alone sitting in her dark house. I often wish i would have followed my heart when my grandpa died and gone to live with her. She shouldnt be alone. Its not fair. I love talking to her and do feel horrible for not calling more often. I forget what it must be like to just be sitting home alone waiting for someone to stop by or call. I feel guilty. I miss the farm.


I suppose i should take advantage of the early night since vaughn has gracefully put herself to sleep and now is singing in her bed. I will go rock and sing with her and then settle in. Another monday is too quickly here.

thank God for weekends...

It has been so nice to be home today- just hanging out. We stayed in bed snuggling til late and then went and bought groceries for our small get together tomorrow. (although, no matter how small the croud, the grocery bill never seems to fit!) I came home and rudy had picked up the kitchen , bedroom and bathroom and put laundry in. Its nice not to have to come home and do those things once in a while. Vaughn has been in such a good mood this weekend, its really been fun! She is changing so fast!! There isnt a whole lot new here. i am still looking forward to spring. i bought vaughn her first pair of shorts today at Target for her to wear in Arizona- she looks so stinking cute!!! Chubby little legs hanging out. I just love it! I love everything about her- every minute of the day.