Happy 90th Birthday and Awana's Awards

Last Wednesday, Vaughnie had her Awana's awards night. Sweet little was so proud. She got a ribbon for participation and learned so many Bible verses this year. She went every Wed night and loved it!

We then hit the road on Thursday to head to Illinois to celebrate my Grandma Margaret turning 90!!! Crazy....We had so much fun. A Little Stress, but mostly fun. SOO many people showed up that I think she was really honored. It was sweet. We had to leave way to early but we were all exhausted and in need of some rest!!

Papa Date night

Our church held a "Daddy Daughter Date Night." and Vaughn is just lucky enough to have a Papa to step in where "daddy" doesn't and take her to special things like this. This is such a precious memory. She was so stinking nervous and so excited and for 2 days everything was about "my special date with papa." She didnt know it was supposed to be for daddies....she just knew it was for dads or uncles or papas. She felt like a million bucks. That morning she said "So, does this mean I get to start going on REAL dates???.....like REAL ones?!?" I said "Ummm not a chance....just with daddy, uncle mack and papa." and she decided that was good for now. :) She asked a hundred times "do you think papa will like my dress? Do you think papa will think I look pretty? Should I wear make up for papa? Should I wear these shoes or these? Papa likes my hair in braids so lets do that!" It.Was.Precious. When we got to gma and papa's house she was a nervous wreck. You can sort of tell in the pictures. First and foremost was showing papa how her dress twirled....cause that's the most important part of picking out a dress for a date!

Papa even had an extra special surprise for the very special date....a corsage....how stinkin' precious is that??? It was the tiniest little corsage I have ever seen. So precious.

And then they were off....a night of dinner, crafts, cake walks, music and good ole papa/vaughnie bonding time. She still beams when she talks about her "Very special date with papa." So sweet.

This is how I procrastinate:)

I have so much to do today- I have a shoot HERE AT MY HOUSE at 4. She wants indoors done of maternity pics and doesnt have the room in hers so we're doing it here. Wish me luck, I don't have a studio, or a finished "public" bathroom, or a place for people to sit (bringing her husband and son) but---- I'll try. These are the days (actually, most days) I wish I had a studio in my basement. AND she wants outdoor photos just in the backyard, but since the storm its a mess with sticks etc and is in desperate need of a mowing. Oh well, we'll walk to the park if we have to. But instead of preparing I am blogging. I'll get to it.

Yesterday, I had emergency oral surgery. You all know how I am about dentists. They make me want to off myself in a serious way. The anxiety of going to them is enough to send me to a nut house. They smell. They are cruel. There is nothing good that comes from them. Pain, and numb face syndrome and both suck. So, because I don't have dental insurance I had to go to Broadlawns (the place in DSM where people go without insurance.) You can imagine the people that were there. An old vetran who was going crazy and ranting and raving about Pow Mia, some very un-hygenic people sitting right next to me (I was literally gagging), an old lady who was supposed to be watching a 4 month old but was getting so mad that she was "fussing" (the lady was holding her by her arms and trying to "stand" her on the ground for like 15 minutes...a 4 month old...I'd be fussing too) that I thought she was going to beat her. But, instead she handed her to a dentist and said "do something with her, i cant handle the sound of her anymore." Yup- room was full of classy folk. There were a few "normals" in there too, some who appeared to be business women but mostly, just weirdos. Anyways- we got there at 6:45 and waited outside until they opened at 7 and then had to stand in line for nearly an hour while they registered everyone. Only to be told I couldn't have Vaughn there with me, so my mom came and got her and my sister watched her (huge thanks guys!) and i waited for 41/2 hours before being called back to get my tooth pulled....which took all of ten minutes. Good news is I feel much better. Even better news is that it was hugely eye opening as to what people who are in a bad spot have to go through and even more eye opening to the fact that I better get some dental insurance ASAP. The truth is I am glad there are places like that so I didn't have to be miserable anymore with this throbbing tooth, but still....clearly there is something wrong with the system.

We are leaving on Thursday to see my Grandma and celebrate her 90th BIRTHDAY!!! What a huge accomplishment!! I am excited to go party hard with her and get a few days away from editing and some quality time with fam.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Easter Pictures

This was the best we could get. After 17 photos of V with her eyes clothes- we gave up! That girl is so sensitive to light!

Easter morning egg hunt outside our house

I dont know if you can tell but she has chocolate oozing from her mouth...at 6:30 am. Ick. Guess its never too early for Chocolate.

Gma, Papa and V on Easter!

G & V (cousins- A is in the background). The bunny came to gma and papas too. So sweet of them to make holidays super special for the kiddos.

This papa....he gets right in and plays too:)

V and me, her proud mama, on Easter. One of the eggs was empty and she said "It's the BEST one cause its empty- like the tomb!!"

These crack me up, this girl CANNOT keep her eyes open for pictures. And the mouth is always open, like a puppet.

Aunt mimi doing a photo op with the kiddos.

The preschool went on an egg hunt to the nursing home/V called it "The Dead Home". This was her FIRST EVER bus ride! She was more excited about that than the eggs!

Checking out her basket at home! She was soo cute.

Egg Decorating!!

 A Little late but better than never....an abundance to make up for the time:)

Easter 2012

The older I get the more into Easter I get, the more it becomes one of my favorite holidays. The song "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" is such a powerful song- sang at the end of every Good Friday Service at Hope- a man with soul changing deep voice and a set of drums. Thats its. The lights are off, there is the last scene from Passions of The Christ on the big screen, silenced and its amazing. Really reminds us about what Easter is about.

One of the things I like to think about at this time is not only what Jesus did for us but about what it had to have been like to be one of the people there. His mother, for instance. How desperate she must have felt. How gut wrenching it must have been to watch your child tortured. It brings me to tears.

I never understood the part in the story where Christ says "My father, why have you forsaken me?" And it always made me question how we say that God never leaves nor forsakes us....and yet, he did just that to his Son- or so it seemed. But this year, on Black Friday they talked about how that pain, watching your son in that sort of moment- was probably so intensely horrific, for a God who feels our pains and anguish that he possibly had to look away. I cannot imagine anything more horrific than losing a child, but never imagined nor thought about God feeling that same wretched pain of watching HIS child go through that. I have been playing "How Deep The Fathers Love for Us" all weekend. I found this Youtube video that is one of my favorites. Gives me chills.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed to hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that kept Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Love me some Jesus talk

Disclaimer (not that I should have to on my own blog.:)) I am speaking my heart, rambling through some lost thoughts and putting things down in effort to sort them out. I don't feel this is an offensive post but some may- bare with me while I talk it out).

I am in the middle of reading 2 incredibly challenging, insightful, mind boggling books. Crazy Love by Francis Chan and The Gospel According to Jesus Christ. I have been working my way through Crazy Love for a long time now- its a lot to take in. A Very POWERFUL read and exactly where my heart has been at struggle for YEARS. The Gospel According to Jesus Christ is a new read, and along the same lines- that the modern day church is completely and udderly missing the entire point of Christianity. Living within a comfortable confines of the lukewarm Christian lifestyle, fussing over the size and comfort level of the church instead of the hurting, needing, Jesus missing and lost people around them. I struggle in writing this because I have struggled for YEARS. I have always felt that something was missing...I have always felt like by calling myself a Christian, it meant I was supposed to be good, pretty, tithe and go to church. That if I made my parents & the church look good by not swearing, not drinking, having an appropriate relationship etc etc etc that "people" see you as a Christian. When in my heart, I know that this concept, these people who want you to look good are the exact reason why people hate Christianity. Because if we really LOVE this JESUS that we say we do- we're not living like it, loving like it, standing like it or BEING it at all. Loving Jesus doesn't mean having a big comfy church with nice chairs and looking pretty on Sunday and singing loudly and giving your 10% and being "good". It means that its sometimes dirty, that your sometimes radical, that you give everything.you.have and that blessing the lives of others is more important than where you attend, how often you attend or how big your church is.
Both books spend time on the lukewarm-that God spits us out and doesn't want a lukewarm anything. He wants hot or cold. He wants us to love on the filthy, the crazy, the messed up, the pained, the broke, the sad, the druggies, the prostitutes, the misfits, the imprisoned, the brokenhearted, EVERYONE to share his love.

I understand that "not everyone's heart is the same" and not everyone has a mission minded heart. But then are we really who we say we are? If this is what God COMMANDS of us, then does it matter if we're comfortable with it? Do you think he really CARES if our heart is a mission minded heart? If it's a Jesus Minded heart then it does these things. Right? I have struggled, openly, about the fact that my heart is very mission minded. I would rather be serving- in the slums, in this country or others, doing the dirty work than being in a service any day. That is my heart. And I know that not everyone feels that way. And I do feel that often I struggle to "find the opportunity to do these things" and thats a lame lame excuse. The truth is that there is pain, suffering, hurting, nasty lives, people missing the point, craving love, craving Jesus all.over.the.place. I say "well I have Vaughn so I cant just go do stuff." That's crap. She has the same sort of heart as I do. She hurts for the hurting, prays for the tornado victims with an outpouring of passion, wants to give her things to those without- she's a passionate loving child and I WANT and FEEL RIGHT to raise her to be selfless....why not take her along? Let her start young at really being the hands and feet of Jesus.

I am praying my way through these books- that I am convicted to the core and that I don't allow modern day lukewarm Christianity to take hold of my heart, that I don't fall into the "way I should look" to others and that I can teach my child (and myself) that maybe being radical is the only way to be. Dropping ALL judgement, Loving ALL People worshiping my God with my whole heart and not "for" anyone else. Does that make sense?

My sweet friend Molly and I have been having coffee dates almost weekly for over 4 years. Sometimes we miss a month here and there but always pick back up. We've seen each other through a lot of crap. WE have had a lot of hard talks and this one in particular keeps coming up. So nice to have a like minded friend that we can talk it out about this stuff.