2011 Resolutions::

1. Read 1 book per month....big or little....inspirational or fiction....just something.
2. Read to Vaughn before bed most nights.
3. Take more trips even if just for the weekend.
4. Be less active in "social media" and more active in game playing, snuggling and playing house.
5. find budget ways to feed my family healthy, un processed foods each day.
6. Become more organized, more focused, less stressed.....in all areas of my life.
7. Become financially able to stay home with Vaughn and do my photography business "full time".
8. I will focus more on a presentable outer me. I want to feel good about my appearance again and I owe that not only to me, but to my clients, my husband and my daughter. I really want to be the best me....inside and outside...and I think 2011 is the year to do it!
9. Ideally I would love to grow our family- if God choses this is right....whether adoption or natural.

a few of the many of the past few weeks...

XMAS and New Years 2010

What a beautiful fun Christmas we had. Vaughn's intense fear of santa subsided long enough for gifts to be enjoyed and she decided after opening her "cat piano" that "santa IS A nice GUY afterall!" We will have to see how next year goes as far as that:)

We spent lots of great time with family and nothing is more precious than that around the holidays. Rudy was able to have XMAS eve off this year which never happens so we were feeling really blessed to have him here.  Aside from a Christmas kitchen fire (we're all fine and I will remember to put a sheet pan under bubble bread next time) we had so much fun relaxing, laughing and playing together. I love my sweet little family.

We got my parents a Wii fit and I cant tell you how funny it was watching my dad play those games! We had a blast!

This weekend we will be going to Illinios to visit my Gma Margaret. I am shooting a wedding new years eve and then we'll head the rest of the way. I am trying to think of my 2011 NY resolutions. I try not to put too much into them because typically by Jan 14th I have forgotten them and moved on to more practical life things...but I am a believer in goals and so I yearly follow the tradition of creating a resolution list....soon to come. 

I have been home sick for 4 days...felt sick for 6 and am finally finally feeling better. Bronchitis on the verge of pnuemonia- fever and the pukes to boot. I have REALLY enjoyed being home. I have not gotten much done up until today since I could barely sit up but its back to work tomorrow. Hopefully soon I wont have to say that anymore but for now- I'll force a smile and go back. Ugh!

Being home has made me restless. I watched both Under the Tuscan Sun and Eat Pray Love and let me tell you- I think my soul is on a winery in Tuscany! I would LOVE to do that...for a year, or two or three. How amazing, peaceful and settling would that be!?

I feel like most of the time I spend running...in circles....forgetting everything about who I am and losing myself every.single.day. I know some would say "well then just be you." its not that I am not. I am. But between early mornings, working full days, raising a toddler and crashing at a usual 9 pm only to get up and do it all over again (or stay up all hours of the night editing photos) I feel like....Where am I.  I feel like I need to create....I need to paint, I need to sing, I need to read good books, I need to be in complete silence, or alone with my music or have hours to sit and write.....I remember when I used to do that....how amazing I felt....how "centered" I felt....Now, Now I just feel like a ball of chaos, always spinning my wheel trying to get "there" and getting no where. I told rudy, I dont feel that I even have time for any routines with Vaughn- No time to sit and be with her doing things we love.  I sometimes just feel like I am losing my grip and the precious moments that I long for. With my daughter, with my husband, with myself. When Rudy and I fight I often wonder Am I mad at him? Or am I mad at me for losing myself in his presence? Am I mad that even he cant stop me from getting lost in the maddness? 

Vaughn-elise was walking across the room the other day. I was on the couch doing who knows what and she turned and looked at me....walked a few more steps and turned and walked toward me. She got VERY close to my face, touched my forehead and said "Mama, you have the most beaut-eous eyes.  They are soo colorful and sparkly." and then she kissed my cheek and went along with her way. When is the last time someone said something so precious to me? When did I stop and notice someone's eyes? When's the last time I stopped to REALLY notice anything?

Wake up Meghan, Your life is not going to slow down....so YOU NEED TO!

SO excited for fall!!!

I was home sick today with a migraine and stomach bug (possibly sick from the migraine meds- not sure) but Vaughn-elise went to the sitter today for the first half of the day so I could sleep off some of the yuck and then I picked her up (thinking it would be nap time) but she just wanted to play so we did. After feeling somewhat better we made Osso Buco and an apple /pear tart. Delish. My parents brought over apple bars and tarts (which is what got me craving them) last night. I have gotten ingredients for soup and am just so stinkin excited for fall and all it holds. I have been wanting to get some more candles but did get a cinnimon one the other day that is makign the house smell great!


This weekend I have a few photo shoots and apts to meet with people and then we're plannign on opening the windows- clean-cook and cheer on the Hawkeyes!!

We're married....MR AND MRS NARDINI!!!

I apologize that I have been void of blogging for some time now. The chaos of the wedding got the best of me. I cant recap it all. It was a great day. For the most part. The weather was DIVINE and to the exact degree what i wanted. Low 70's and cloudy and I got it! Perfection. I was nervous I wouldnt like being married...that I would feel less of who I am and "trapped" perse. I do not. I LOVE IT. I love being someone's wife. I love the feeling of completeness and that this is where I am supposed to be, that this is my FAMILY, that we are each others. I love it. Our honeymoon was amazing. It was a suprise and we ended up going to the  Riviera Maya (Mayan Riviera- Ive heard it called both) to an all inclusive resort that was just gorgeous. Though, the trip there was NOT fun. I dont fly well. We all know that. I HATE it. I would rather drive 24 hours than fly 3. I get motion sick, have panic attacks, get claustraphobic, its a germ tube...I just despise it. I have to get searched everytime and apparently when your crossing the country lines they are a little more skeptical than normal. Anyways, I threw up 11 times. I was sick the whole first flight and then upon landing couldnt stop it from overflowing. People were handing bags down from other seats....it continued onto the next flight and the entire taxi ride to the resort. I basically slept the entire first day to try to get back on track. Boo. But aside from that We did not stop moving the entire time but did a ton of stuff I never though we'd do. We ziplined, swam through water filled caves,  walked past parrots meer feet from us on a several-time-per-day basis and got to watch the HAWKS STOP IOWA STATE in an amazing setting. The bar we were able to watch the game at was owned by a man from Cedar Rapids Ia and it was just perfect.  We went to Playa Del Carmen twice and spent most of our time running to different activities. I wish we would have had one more day to just lay on the beach and do nothing. The trip was great. I missed Vaughn like crazy and called almost everyday to talk t her. She did great though!


We are back now and back into the "swing of things." We opened wedding presents at mom and dads on Friday night and got some killer nice things. I am so excited. My kitchen has basically been replaced. I cannot wait to get to use our gift cards and do some redecorating. We also got enough stuff to pretty much redo our bathroom and gift cards to Lowes to help in replacing the shower stall. New shower head and shower curtain to boot!

The photography business is booming. I am so glad it has really taken off the way it has. I do however, feel like I am never home. I usually have 4 shoots per weekend and on top of being a full time student and full time worker somewhere else I feel like I am neglecting my wife/mom duties. We are praying and discussing some possible future changes and hopefully you all will join us in praying about it too. We need a clear way and a financially it must make sense. Luckily, I am almost credit card debt free and that will clear up alot of monthly payments.

anyways, Thanks to all who helped make our wedding perfect- to all of those who traveled and took the time to be here...it meant MORE to us than you can know. We love you all!
Two cheers to married life, being a family and feeling "at home" in our decision!!! We're more in love now than we have ever ever been!

Mrs Nardini

Its officially wedding week!!!

I CANNOT believe I am writing that....wedding week....MY. WEDDING. week!!! Insane. The time every girl dreams of her whole life. I feel sort of numb right now because everything is happening so fast...tonight we are trying to get a few things around the house done (mainly, laundry caught up) so my mom and dad can come tomorrow and we're having a massive deep cleaning session. I have yet to figure out how to take care of these wood floors to make them look good (they are origional and beautifully beat up....but so hard to do anything with. I have thought about painting them cream but am not set on that yet.) Today alone I have done 7 loads of laundry...I am taking a break from folding and putting away to blog a little. Last night we went out for my sisters 30th (vintage) birthday. It was super super fun. We went to a country music dance club and had.a.blast! She was TEARING UP that dance floor. Cant wait to see more moves at my wedding  :)

Monday night:  Order flowers Cleaning
Tuesday night: Practice run on my and my bridesmaid hair.
hoping rings will be in by this point.
Wednesday: huge get together to assemble programs and put together out "surprise" for out of town guests.
Pick up dresses
Thursday night: Helping the people who's wedding is the day before us set up lights so that we can use them too.
Friday: Pick up tuxes, pick up rentals, get candy buffet candy, meet with photographer, nail apts with girls, dinner with girls and friends, out for a low key bachelorette party.
Saturday: Early morning rehearsal, IOWA GAME, last minute stuff, rehearsal dinner, SLEEP
Sunday:pick up cake and then..... "going to the chapel and we're gonna get maaaaaaarrriiied.....Going to the chapel (barn) of love! "
Monday: Leave for the honey moon.

On top of all of this I am working 10 hour days this week and trying to finish up last minute details....without losing my mind. I wish I could afford to take the whole week off!!!!


I am missing Vaughn BIG time. I feel like there has been so little time to really spend quality time with her. Tonight we played play dough and i thought to myself...."I have missed this girl". It has been one thing after another, one errand after another, one appointment, one more thing to do...
My best friend Shan has been a HUGE lifesaver through these last few months. She's a get it done -er who knows how to work a budget like its her job so we've been able to get a lot done...she's helped with vaughn, run errands for me, assembled things and spent countless hours discussing wedding plans. She's amazing. Truly my life saver.

I am going to take a minute to go lay next to my girl while she sleeps, give her lots of kisses (CANT stand the thought of leaving her for week....thus why I have not mentioned that to this point....soooo nervous about that.) and tell her how much I love her...


Then back to laundry....:( See YOU in a couple days!

Life is far too short

to be in misery every day of your life with migraines. I got the epi pen so that rudy can administer home injections as emmitrex (spelling) is the only thing that seems to work but makes me throw up, so home injections it is. Fine. I can handle a shot. I have had many a practice with that. 

So after a 2 day migraine, we decided it was time for the shot. I cannot even explain how it went in a way that would describe a clear picture...but let me try...I had decided enough was enough- I would let him give me the shot, we'd put V to bed and watch our weekly show and then by that point- surely the medication would have kicked in.....right?
So... He read the page and half instructions on how to administer it. We fought for a bit about what was the "fatty" part of my arm. Apparently, rudy see's no difference in what I consider "muscle" and what he considers "fat". So, he jams it in, i scream. He has to hold it down tight for 5-10 seconds to get all the medication in (per the instructions). He withdrawls the needles, puts it away and before he is done- My arm and leg HURT, like BAD....I mean this is like 7 seconds  later.  I am drooling, cant hold my head up and felt like my brain was boiling. Within 15 seconds of getting the shot he tells Vaughn "girl, I think your  mama is peacin' out." and vaughns says "peace out mama." Rudy had to practically carry me to the bed and I couldnt speak, move...nothing. It was the WEIRDEST feeling but the greatest feeling because I knew it was doing something...and hoping it was working. I was OUT.....within probably a minute from having the meds. I can just imagined how I looked....and it makes me laugh now....but then i was just a slobbering idiot.

We decided I can NOT have this administered on the airplane or people will think Rudy is kidnapping me!!!

Disclaimer:: Apparently all of these are side effects of the shot as its very strong. Luckily, I didnt get the side effect of soiling yourself as I have read some others have had????

I woke up with no headache...then on my way home- we stopped and got our passports signed up and on the way home from that BAM BAM BAM...it started coming on again. Its getting worse as the night goes on but not full blown yet. Plan to go to bed in a bit and see if that helps. I cant take the shot every day so ive got to be careful. I am also now taking a daily pill to help reduce the numbers of migraines I get.... hopeuflly in the week or so that should start working and I should be feeling better.

Fingers crossed.

what a rude week....

Today is what vaughn would call "rude".  Thats what she says when things dont go her way- upset her schedule or just tick her off. She calls that "Rude." I agree. Thats a good term (though I dislike greatly hearing it come out of her mouth- it suits perfect....) I have had a 2 day migraine. I.have.been.miserable.  Aside from that I am broke de Broke. Sick and tired of being broke and working just to go under. I cant stand it. Makes me feel even more like working is a waste of time. If your working and spending all your time in a 4x5 cube shouldn't there be SOME Financial ease? Nope. Not in our case. I HATE IT! I am stressed about having so much to do and so little time to do it in. On top of that, my transmission is getting worse in my car and I do.not.want.to. pay to have it repaired. Vaughn is growing up way way too fast and I feel like I am missing it all. It was the 4th anniversary of my sweet Grandpa Wayne's entrance into heaven yesterday and no matter how long passes I feel like he isnt really gone. I still feel like he was just here a few months ago, yet miss him like he's been gone for many more years. I just miss him so much. I miss deep laugh, his chuckle, his hands, his hugs, his eyes and smiles and the way he just loved us all so much....never will his passing be easy. never.

Rudy sprung on me a couple days ago that now I need a passport. I have asked him for 3 months if i need to order one and he has said no. He now changed his mind and I am running around like an idiot looking for all the paperwork to get my passport in time to leave for the honeymoon. I am super excited to see what he has planned....

Vaughn taught me a good lesson yesteday: We were driving home from the sitters and a girl was pulling the trash back to the house, wearing a red hooded sweatshirt with the hood pulled up. Vaughn said "looky mama! Even little red riding princess has garbage too."

Words from a 2 year old that hit me like a ton of bricks. "even little red riding princess has garabage too."

Man, Isnt that the truth!? So good to know I am not the only one.

Its getting CLLLOSSEERR

Glad to know a few of you still read this. :)

We got our new stove today. After 2 kitchen fires and being without a stove since May 5th- I was THRILLED. But, Of course it couldnt go as planned. I just had a feeling we wouldnt be eating speghetti tonight :( The 1940's plugs that are about 5 inches long and 100 wires apprarently do not fit in the new 2010 stainless steel ovens. Fan-stinkin-tastic. Now we have to have an electrician come and rewire basically the whole side of the kitchen. NOT COOL!


There has been some drama with finding someone to marry us...you know because we are horrible sinners who should have to bow down and plead forgiveness to the world in order to be married. I'll stop. For fear of offending someone. But lets just say.....I have ALOT I could say. Currently- still no one to marry us. Reason #45987 why I wish I would have eloped.  Elvis doesn't care, right? tee hee.


Vaughn-elise.....boy she's sure growing up fast! Sweet as pie one minute and sassy as a sassafrass the next. She is becoming quite familiar with the phrase  "Thats NOT fair mommy! Life is Toooo hard.!!!"  (hand on hip and all).  AND she stomps. Yes. Stomps. And Slams the cupboard doors.....and she has now learned how to scream. Wail. AND throw herself on the floor. She was always too afraid to scream, she just couldnt let it out....but that changed about a week ago. She now SCREAMS!


She's my big size 10 shoe wearing, 3T pant wearing, 4T shirt wearing, hugging, hopping, book reading, puzzle obsessing, mama loving sweet as pie 2 (almost 3 :( ) year old. She also believes in her heart of hearts that SHE is caliou. (that annoying 4 year old whining kid on TV.) Nothing like a little identity crisis before you even turn 3!!! Its funny. Its annoying. Caliou is the most annoying kid (cartoon even so) on the planet!


Hope everyone continues to pray with us about my employment....desire to stay home....photography business. We are really praying it kicks off and that it provides ample income for me to stay home/work part time and we are able to use it to pay off some debt. Of course, right now every last cent is used up but come Sept 6th- it will go back to paying other things.
I was really hoping to get the house painted before the wedding but I think that is out. I was really hoping to get the bathroom redone before the wedding too- but i was pretty sure that wasnt going to happen. Maybe before Christmas?

We went to a garage sale and found this silly monkey costume. V loves that thing!

small update.

I am not sure if anyone even will read my blog ever again since I am sooo bad about updating. Things are busy. Good, but busy. I have started a photography company called GraceJuliet Photography and have been pretty busy with that. I am also, of course, planning a wedding :)

Which- story about the wedding planning:: 

Went to pick up my dress and it was ALL WRONG. I am guessing the sales lady just wanted a sale because she measured me (two people measured me) and sold me a dress that only went up to "x" size. I needed that size. Well, they ASSURED me it would fit great and then..nope. It was AT LEAST 3 or 4 sizes too small if not more. The seems were all off, and to make matters worse it was tapered at the ankles, hugged every buldge and dimple i have. It was nasty. I just sat and cried and cried and cried. Long story short i went to another store and bought one off the rack that needs ZERO alterations. (minus having a bra sewn in...which is not an alteration- just something I want.) and its SO much more what I wanted than the first dress. I have no idea why I bought the first stupid one anyways....but i got my money back. I think they measured me with a yardstick and not a tape measure. it was NUTS how far off they were.

ANYWAYS, only about 5.5 weeks left.....still a TON left to do! We decided on a caterer this weekend. Not what  I wanted but great food and fits the budget. Check. Need to order the cupcakes and cake this week. and decide on table decor. phew. I hate to say it because I am a planner in my soul, but I am ready for this to be done. I am ready to be married, on our honeymoon, and then back. 

I am sooo sick of this summer-ready for fall, cool weather, sweats and hawkeye football!!! Vaughn is doing great and getting soo big and so smart. I am suprised daily when I pick her up that she looks like she has grown! She reminds us every.single.day that we are getting married and she is going to be the "flower garden.!!!!" haha. precious. 
She is my flower garden.


Sorry no pics- I have some but my computer is having some issues with the battery so I am on Rudy's.

We are sick. sick. sick. Ve was up allll stinkin night crying that her legs hurt. (some times I think they are really bothering her, sometimes I think its a "go to" for her when she's not feeling good...she just blames her legs. Maybe she has restless leg syndrome. She will say they itch, they hurt, they pinch, they scratch....could be growing pains I suppose but she has been having this problem since she was old enough to say "leggies...ouch." Breaks my heart. And Rudy's. He is MUCH better with middle of the night wake ups than I am. For that, I give him huge praise. He is right there the moment she cries and I am one who does.not.do.well with no sleep. I mean, I am impatient, out of it, cranky, loopy. Plus, I am sick as a dog right now- cant breathe, feel like I am swollowing glass chips, cough. V has a bad cough too. Yuck. I cant think Rudy enough for getting up all umph-teen-times last night with V. I was awake, but he rocked, bounced, "sang" and rubbed her poor legs. He's a great dad.

I had to call in today, as I can barely talk and wouldnt be suprised if I get in trouble for it tomorrow. I dont care at this point.

So much wedding stuff we need to get done this week. SO MUCH! I am hoping to get feeling better at least temporarily to get some stuff done, phone calls made, prices quoted and plans made.

I am getting SO excited for the honeymoon. Still no clue where we're going but it will just be nice to lay around, shop around, eat new foods...I . AM. Pumped!

WE will be getting our new stove soon- for those who care:) The warrenty people finally gave rudy a dollar amount they will pay and I think we can get a nice little stove for that amount....SO excited to be able to cook again:)
Gonna go blow my nose...have a good day

Planning extravaganza

My mind is one big plan...one HUGE calendar....one small countdown. This year is B-U-S-Y! I am currently planning the following.
August 10th, a baby shower for a work friend
Sept 5th, My wedding
Sept 6th-11th- our honeymoon- and even though Rudy is planning a keeping secret the where and what, I am thinking about leaving Vaughn, what to pack for all three of us, my hatred and fear of flying, my hatred and fear of the water, my first time away from Vaughn for more than overnight, etc etc etc.
Sept 18th- a wedding my sister and I are doing photography for.
October 9th- Vaughns 3rd birthday carnival  and the Light the Nights charity walk
October 10th- a wedding Amanda and I are doing photography for
October 15th -Vaughns actual birthday and a friends wedding I am in in Nebraska
October 16-17th-Illinios color Drive
October 31st- planning rudy's 30th birthday celebration....


Thats not even November which only picks up from there....that doesnt include other possible weddings we may be doing or other charity events I am signed up for.
I love planning, it my my "soul" and it makes me happy to plan things. I just love it. today though I am feeling over stretched. My mind looks like a childs drawing and makes no sense...I am mixing birthday details with wedding details with charity dollars with photography ideas. Major Fail!

on top of it all V and I are sick. Coughs, colds, the blahs.

Last night we went to the Cubs game for my work. We had lots of fun chatting with friends and V met a new friend (a daughter of a friend of mine ) named Payton. all night she called her Franklin. I guess they sound alike? They were cute, fireworks were pretty, conversation was good and the night was a success. Check out the pictures.

devil got your tongue?

Confession. He has mine. ALOT lately.  I am trying so hard to stay calm, be smart with my words instead of sharp with them. To be gentle instead of manipulative. To be kind and possitive instead of rash and mean....I.am.failing. miserably.  I feel bad for everyone around me.  I think I am just over stretched, over tired, too much on my mind- too  much o n my plate. too much anxiety.  I feel like I should go to bed and stay there for a few weeks until I am out of this stupid funk. Oh and someone tore up our garden that we weorked sooooooo hard on and vaughn was sooooo proud of. I am guessing its the same people I think are slashing my tires. I think it is the same kids who knock on our door 4 times a week to see if they can mow are yard and who TORE THE DOOR KNOCKER OFF TODAY  when we didnt answer the door (we were arguing and i was watching them from the peek whole.) I am going to watch closely and then call the cops. Vaughn cried when she saw the garden and so did I. It was growing soo huge, thenp-everythig was pulled out and thrown. stupid jerks.
   

phones

I am officially having a bad day. it is official that the universe has decided that today is simply not my day. somewhere out there someone is having a blast, enjoying the sun, smiling, laughing and eating a bowl of ice cream. Not here. Still cant find my phone- refuse to pay the outrageously rediculous prices that sell phone companies charge for new phones. The cheapest? 200. SO I will wait until someone on craigslist has one I can afford. I HATE not having a phone.
I am hot. I am breaking out. I am swollen footed and handed. We are out of groceries, out of money, out of patience.
I went to talk to the cater and discovered there is no way on this pretty green earth that i can ever in my dreams pay for the food i want at the wedding. i refuse to serve lunch meat sandwiches and am starting to feel like thats my only choice. i almost cried in the caters office. after telling her the foods i would like she asked my budget. then laughed. she must have thought i was stupid through and through or something. I will not go in debt over food at the wedding. i wont. but i have a feel, an image and a style that I would like to maintain. Maybe I just cant.

By the way, this weekend i will be hauling loads to the curb. feel free to come by and go through our crap. I want it gone. And I am JUST in that sort of mood that chucking large objects onto the street sounds refreshing and therapeutic.

sitting on some good words

The other day at work, a sweet friend (and co worker) emailed me a forward. At the end there were some words that particularly stuck out to me. I have been sitting on them ever since. God works in some pretty fantastic, sly ways and what could have been just another chain letter turned into some life changing words. It said.....

"Don't ask or expect God to guide your way unless you are willing to move your feet."

Now repeat that over and over and you will experience a few minutes inside my head. I needed those words so incredibly badly. I had just never thought of it quite  like that but in essence that is exactly what I do. I pray  on things, request things, expect God to show me what he wants from me and then I sit. I live the same way I have been, ignore gut feelings, ignore instincts and just expect a tag board and sharpie made sign to appear on my front door some day. Rediculous.

I say, "I am sick of this house. Its unorganized, a mess, no space, undecorated." I pray that God just makes me love where I am at. Why? If I dont like it, shouldnt I do something to make myself love it? Get to organizing, redecorating? Making this feel like home? You bet I should!

I pray and pray and pray that God provides financially for us. That we dont live paycheck to paycheck. That we can afford to pay off some debt, that money comes in for us. When instead, he has supplied me with talents and passions that provide a great income and I have not chosen to utilize them.

I ask God to help me live a healhty lifestyle. To turn down the bad stuff and do more of the good.....and then I sit on the couch eating ice cream and a ho ho and wonder why I cant fit into those jeans, wonder why I have no energy.

"Don't ask or expect God to guide your way unless you are willing to move your feet." Wow.

Lets get to moving!!!!! Looking forward to some life changing! 

This is another (one of my favorites) engagement pics Amanda took of us.

And the Lord spoke

God hates Garage Sales. I am convinced. There must be some commandment about "thou shalt not sell your things under a covering in your yard." there must be. After 3 tries, Maria and I threw in the towel. The first try, my sweet grandpa Don passed away. The second try, it monsoon-ed all morning, we set up late- had a man offer to buy our carport and that was about it. I stated I would NOT be bringing things back in our house- WRONG. I gave in. Decided to shoot for the next week, Maria had Friday off and we thought that would be perfect as rudy would be home too. Mid morning, tornadoes hit, neighbors tree fell in the yard, garage sale stuff flying around the yard, they packed up and came in. The clouds cleared about the time I got home and so I unpacked and reset up. (I know- I'm crazy...but gal darnit- I want this crap GONE). Not ten minutes after I set up, it started raining again. The neighbor just laughed. He's been trying to pour a concrete driveway too but same thing keeps happening to him- about the time the trucks show up, the rain starts. I have cried and cried. I have so much stuff in my living room it is litterally taking over the whole room...minus a walkway...its been that way for a month. I cannot stand it another moment. Tonight, I will set up a goodwill pile, and a consignment pile. This stuff WILL be out of here within the week. It stinks, I know some of what i have is worth selling (vaughns clothes etc) but there comes a point when 20 dollars is just plain not worth the work! I want my house back, I want to rearrange, redecorate.

I have also been in the works of painting the playroom. The plan? Sage green. The outcome? Army green. Its better than the bright baby blue in there now. Same color as the kitchen and its just  too.much.blue! Vaughn tells me "I dont like those pickle walls." But I think they are growing on her. Me too.

I have decided that I need a second job. Seriously contemplating doing daycare in our home after the wedding is over. Rudy will be able to add me to his insurance and I could make more money...this is an idea we have toyed with for sometime and I do think I would miss the adult interaction but Vaughn-elise is growing so quickly and is so impressionable at this point.  I want to cherish these last couple years before she heads out in the big world....AND, as mentioned, it would save us money.....and I can sacrifice adult conversation for some extra cash...easily. Thats what phones are for right?  Which by the way, mine has gone missing. Its been a week now...I am lost without it but rudy thinks we'll find it when we go through the garage sale stuff....we'll see.

I have also put an add on craigslist for my sister and I to do wedding photography. We'll see if we get any takers! This is one of the engagement photos amanda took of Rudy and I...I will add more as I get time.

bridal shower #1

So, here I am trying to sort through some music ideas for the wedding.  Easy? SUUUURE.  i have a feeling I will walk around on my wedding day with black streaks down my face, blotches on my dress, tear soaked hair.....you get the picture. (attractive, no?) Maybe I will just pick a rap song?...disney song? Not that showing a little emotion is bad- but its not even my wedding day and I look like i poured a glass of water down the front of my shirt.....what a mess.
If you have any suggestions, please post them!!



PS....have you seen anyone look cuter in eyewear?! 

Grandpa.

If I could do it over I would visit more, write more letters, cook for you more, sit and listen to your stories for longer time, I would study your face longer, I would ask about your memories of us, I would ask the private details of your life that only those closest know, I would ask about your biggest pride, your most joy. i would make you present for you family events, I would pray for you more.
If I lived in the world I wanted I would be able to take care of my family in their time of need, I would be in the position to leave and go stay, to pick up some pieces, to comfort and care, I would be more able.
If I had my questions answered I would want to know where you are, how you are, why goodbyes are never easy, I would want to know if you knew before it happened, if you were scared, if you prayed, if you cried. I would want to know why it hurts so bad to have you leave though I know your in a "better" place. I would want to know why a long life seems so short to those who love you.
If I had you hear for five more minutes I would tell you how much i love you, how strong and how hard of a worker you are. I would tell you you led a blessed life full of people who love you- I would memorize every part of your face, I would memorize you laugh. If I had you back for five minutes I would cry and rejoice and praise God for you. If I had you back for five minutes I would pray with you. I would fall on my face and I would pray for you.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I cry, I regret, I am thankful, I remember, I mourn, I wonder.

FAST approaching!!

The wedding is now offically only 4 months away. (minus a couple days). EEK! SO much to do still! I have officially challenged Rudy to a 20 pounds weight loss challenge. EAch of us to lose 20 lbs before the wedding. Of course thats not my final goal, but its my 4 month goal. It would be pretty amazing if we could both meet that. Not that we will love each other any more but it would be nice to FEEL beautiful on my wedding day.

For those who are unaware....the wedding is Sept 5th. CANT WAIT. I haven't quite figured out all the details, but we're getting there. Bridesmaids have found their dresses (all of which I LOVE). THe hard part will be the guys. NONE of them live around here or around each other and the tuxs we want are at the same place as the brides stuff...in DSM. Hopefully they can get their measurements in here!

A friend is having a garage sale this weekend and i am going to be taking stuff to her place....if it doesnt sell i will try one more here in adel and then out it goes. I am so sick of having a bunch of stuff that we dont use. I say that about once per year. I know, but it doesnt take time for things to pile up! Thats for sure! Vaughn had some trauma tonight while going through some of her toys. she sure didnt want to get rid of anything. I said "we're just getting rid of the things you dont play with so someone else can." and little by little she took everything out and said "see mama, im playing with it, now we dont have to give it away!!" Poor thing.

SO, I am totally loving the rainy weather. I . love. it!

letter to Vaughn, mothers day 2010

Dearest Vaughn-elise, My third mothers day with you is more than I ever could have imagined. You have blessed my life beyond all measure, you have challenged my life, changed my life and given me life. You have made me a better person, a harder worker, more patient, more imaginative, more joyous. You my sweet dear, are my life. You are my heart, my thoughts and my truest of love. Thank you sweet girl for being such an amazing, wonderful, intuitive, precious child. You are growing into such a gem and I just hope you know every single day of your life how much I love being your mother and how much every single day I cherish you and praise our God for you! You are all I have ever wanted and very much more. My sunshine-I love you to the moon and back, Mommy

To all moms out there, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

What a weekend! Saturday, i met with 3 of my 4 bridesmaids (We missed you kendal) as the 4th has just moved to Philly. I started the day early with some garage saling and scored big at one...the rest were busts. Met my mom and the bridesmaids at 10 to look at dresses. I am soo excited about the ones that were chosen and we're still hunting for shannon. I have faith Kendal will pick something super fabulous. It feels like its starting to come together. I am having second thoughts about my dress....you only get one wedding dress (hopefully) and I am just nervous I should have picked something with more pazzaz. I do love the one I picked. Im just saying. Its a HUGE decision. We went to lunch after shopping and then I came home for abit, cleaned a little and then took V and went back in dsm with Shannon to try to find her dress (not a lot of success saturday morning for her.

Today is my brothers birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT! WE had lunch at my parents and got to hang out and play outside. Gabi and Dre and Vaughnie have such a blast together and Dre and Vaughnie got to help papa load the bird feeders and take a ride on BOTH the golf cart and the tractor. TOO FUN.

Rudy threw his back out so he's resting and so is vaughn. (yes it IS 6:30:) SO they will be up late and Im bound to be out by 8:00 :).....hopefully i dont have to stay home and tend to rudy tomorrow but we'll see how he's feeling. Im TRYING to be a good helpful woman but sick/hurting men are soo annoying! Can I get an AMEN?

ATTN ALL MAMAS!!! HELP!!!!

I offically have thrown in the towel. Terrible Twos. Enough said. My daughter is next to a saint for everyone else, including her dad...but for SOME Reason, she feels like when i come home, excited to see her she must officially turn into a raging monster who hates me. She WILL.NOT.LISTEN and for some reason, my immature mother mind thinks that yelling will do the trick, NOPE! NO matter how much or how loud I yell, I just sound like a woman on drugs and not a loving nurturing mother and vaughn's ears never ever hear me. Its insane. I have cried all night. She has hit, bitten, thrown things, colored on the hardwood floors with permanent marker, painted on the walls (where she finds these things i have NO CLUE) she has ripped a book, torn pictures off of her walls, put things in her mouth that dont belong and told me twice she doesnt love me anymore. I have threatened her, put her in time out, attempted to put her to bed, i have hugged her, loved on her and prayed....nothing works. I just sit and cry when she's like this. I know she is testing me and its working. I am beside myself. My sister and her kiddos were going to stop over today to bring V a may basket. I had to call and tell them not to come because i didnt want her to feel like her behavior was being rewarded by visitors and a treat. I would have loved for them to stop over.

I am beside myself. Rudy insists that i dont do anything different than him but that she does.not.behave this way around him and i know she doesnt at her sitters or my moms. Its just me. I walk in the room and she thinks all rules are out the window, which is strange since I am the rule enforcer of the household. I dont get it. If you have ANY Advice, pass it my way. I am about to invest in childsized handcuffs. (i kid....no i dont....yes i do.....:)

At my wits end, one grouchy mama

I am guessing no one reads this anymore, as I have not written in ages. I have nothing too interesting going on right now other than wedding plans. I am ready for a vacation in a serious matter. Not away from my home, or away from anyone in particular. I just desperatly need a week where I dont have to report to work in the mornings and can get stuff done around home, errands run, the fridge cleaned, toilet scrubbed, playroom organized, laundry caught up. I feel like I work all day and then come home have to play catch up for the time I spend away. I have been trying hard to keep that stuff at bay until after Vaughn goes to bed. She needs my attention more than the dirt does. She's soo funny. I just trully enjoy her. She has such an extensive vocab that she is able to tell stories (and starting to make them up) and its the best. We watch princess GiGi which is a Christian series about a little girl who is a princess (Child of the most High King) and we have her books, movies, games etc. Vaughn LOVES Princess GiGi and it talks about the talents God gave you and not being sad if he gave someone else other talents. Vaughn curled up in my lap this evening and said "God gave YOU snuggle talent mama." I love it.

I am excited for garage saling and hoping to get to a couple this weekend. I am selling some things at a friends in a few weeks and am glad to see things go. Simplify. Or so I try. My bridesmaids (minus kendal:( ) are trying on dresses this weekend and I am pumped for them to pick them out and see what it will look like all together!) Should be a fun/busy weekend!

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RudyNardini&MeghanKinney

visit our wedding website for up to date details on the Big Day!

An old photo I have of Vaughn that I just adore. Its hard when I look at her now to remember she was this small just a few months ago....She's so grown up! Today, she wore her big girl pants ALL day at daycare with no accidents and she had successfully worn them all night several times with no accidents. She may be scared to death of fictional characters like Easter Bunny and Santa, but she sure is a potting queen.

Tonight we are supposed to get tornados and bad storms. I cant wait! (not for the tornados, but for the bad storms!) I just hope it happens when i am awake to see them!

need to write more later but V is almost done watching Princess GiGi (which to anyone with a young girl, these videos/books etc are AWESOME! Good Christian stories that are geared toward young kids. ) and its going to be an early bedtime tonight. Was up late last night and we're all suffering!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter! What an Awe-some GOD we serve! So blessed to have second chances and a God who will always take us back. Thank you Jesus!

Pictures of this beautiful, glorious day to come...along with a funny story about "Easter Bunny Trauma." But for tonight, I am pooped!

Love to you all!

our fun day in the spring weather....then it snowed.

home grown.

I have decided that in attempts to get healthy and fit (which has taken a back burner lately and I dont know why.) I have decided that this spring/summer I am going to have an organic garden. I will soon start composting so I will have natural fertilizer and am hoping to try my green thumb at a variety of fresh fruits and veggies and herbs....I have NEVER gardned before so it could get very interesting. If anyone has any tips, good foods bad foods to garden....i have so much to learn:)

I am feeling in desperate need of a vacation. a week, not to go anywhere, but just to stay at home, get some stuff done, sleep in, nap....listen to music, sing etc.....

someday....

"sometimes you gotta learn to love whats good for you, ya know?"

Tomorrow- St Patricks Day is one of my favorite days all year long! i adore all things Irish and am so excited! I think we will try to continue on the tradition (started last year) for me to make the a full on Irish meal (corned beef, veggies, colcannon potatoes, irish soda bread etc.) and have everyone over to my parents for dinner. I just love it. Last year we played games etc but this year I have just been too busy to plan. I cant wait.....and the rueben sammies the next day...amazing!
:)

I got some AWESOME news at the doctors on Monday. (I had a check up in Iowa City.) I GOT MY TWO YEAR RELEASE! (basically this means that I dont have to go back for two solid years!) I have been waiting for that moment since I got sick! It was pretty neat, my doctor (who lacks all bedside manners) called in a room full of people, told them my story- said he thought I was a miracle and God had Big plans for me so they should just take a good long look at me and held my hand and said he'll be seeing me the rest of my life but not for another two years :) I was so excited I cried! he said I am in the "safe zone" if there is such a thing. Praise Jesus!

On a funny note- Tonight, V was being really ornery when i put her to bed and she was acting like she was going to hit me in the face and then stopped her hand started giggling when i acted mad and she said "April Fools Mommy!" How does she even know what April fools is? Apparently to her its a way to stay out of trouble. .It just made me giggle. That silly girl.
She is sure going to keep my hands full!

I have gotten a "wild hair" to learn sign language. I dont know that i will ever be proficient at it but would like to learn...maybe I ll see if I can find a DVD to teach me! i would like Ve to learn too....who knows- maybe someday God will put a deaf person in my life and how will I ever talk to them if I dont learn...right?

HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY EVERYONE! WEAR YOUR GREEN!

Today, I feel like crap. I have a migraine. My theory is that since I am losing my voice, the new "man voice" that I have adapted is giving me a headache. guess I wouldnt make a good man....thankfully- i dont have to worry too much about that.

I had a fun, adult conversation with Vaughn on the way home today that blew my mind. Remember, she's only 2.5. She said "thank you Jesus for my sun coming out! Its out Mommy, he found a way out!" and I said "where was he hiding?" And she said "i dont know but I want to climb up there and touch it. It will be VERY hot, it will take a VERY long time. I want to touch it and say thank you for coming out and melting all my snow Oh Mr Sun!!!" Praise my Jesus for the bright sunshiny weather today. She also reminded me to put on my sunglasses so my eyes dont hurt.


Humiliating story- I have debated with a long time about what to call "private parts" with Vaughn. I decided, i dont want her to be embarrassed or thing that what they are called is a bad word and i dont want her to learn about them in school and be totally embarassed. They are what they are. So, the other day I was naked and she pointed to my "front butt" as she calls it and I said "No vaughnie, thats mommies VA----." (I wont write it as to not embarass you reading.) and she started singing a song about my V and how mommies and Vaughnies have them." Rudy just looked at me and said "way to go...thats fantastic." then Sunday, after a couple days of not hearing this word from her, we went to the grocery store....all was okay for a while and right in the middle of the produce section Vaughn started screeming "Vag---, Vag----, mommy has a vag----.....WE Dont say Nipples! WE dont Touch Mommy's Nipples!!"!!!!!!!! I was MORTIFIEd. I mean, people were laughing and staring at us. She did this through the ENTIRE store. I was like 15 shades of read and I kept opening stuff trying to get her to shut up, i opened like half of the things in the cart...to no avail.

Rudy thought it was hysterical, though he was not there, he just said "thats what you get politically correct Mommy."

on another note, going to Women of Faith this weekend and am pumped. Cant wait. :)

cough..cough...

Still sick...getting worse I hate to say. Today is the last day i can stay home so I think my mom is staying tomorrow and rudy thursday and Friday. Poor thing. I will give the meds a couple days and if she's not getting better we are going back to the doctor. V was up all night coughing, I was up all night worried, getting in bed with her, checking on her, propping her up. Then in the middle of the night alfie went CRAZY! He NEVER barks at night...never. In fact the whole time we have had him I dont think he has EVER barked in the night, meaning afte we went to bed. I was TERRIFIED and jumped out of bed as fast as I could and almost fell flat on my face becuase my feet were tangled in the stupid sheets.....The only thing I could think was that someone was breaking in and I thought for some reason it was in Vaughns room. I also realized, in the event that that ever happened Rudy would be worthless. He sat straight up and yelled at Alfie to shut up and then rolled back over and went to sleep....leaving me to investigate. Fantastic. Maybe I need to enroll in self defense classes. Rudy takes a good 30 minutes to even be able to fully open his eyes in the mornings and I hear my alarm and am in the shower within 30 seconds. Ve is just like me, her feet hit the floor with plans in mind. She does like to take her time once she's up and has her routine but she cant just lay around in bed very often. Oh well.

On a good note/dangerous note. My girl scout cookies are being delivered tonight!!! Why do I do that to myself? Ahh yes, because the pleasure is worth the guilt!

Some updated pics. The Hells Kitchen one is where we ate at 2 times in MN. It was AMAZING!

I stayed home with V today and took her to the doctor. she had the croup 2 weeks ago with a high fever, after steroids she seemed to be doing better...until 2 days ago when she spiked a high fever again and has been coughing lots. I took her in today and the poor thing has pneumonia!!!! i will stay home with her again tomorrow and then see how she is after that, if she's strong enough/back to normal- she'll go back to the sitters. If she's not 100% better in 10 days they want her back and may have to do breathing treatments after that. Hopefully though, she'll be all better- the doctor thought we caught it pretty early so he said this extra strenth meds should help her alot. Even now, sitting on the couch with the TV on low and the soundspa on in her new room, I can hear her in there wheezing. Poor thing. Tomorrow I will post pics of her new room....we got carpet laid in the bedrooms last friday and let me tell you what a difference it makes. I hated the bedrooms, they seemed more like storage rooms, cold, hard...now they are so cute! V is soo proud of her room and her new bed that "mommy put together all by herself!"

She is just so cute. Her new thing is that everyone is "my best friend EVER and I love them soo much." One minute its me, one minute its alfie, one minute its gma and papa..... but they are her BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD. She is just so kind and loving and always asking "you doin okay mama? you need me to help you? " and saying thanks and please and how much she loves someone and is just soo thankful for everything, whether its me helping her put her socks on or getting her a snack or building legos with her she is just genuinely thankful. Dont get me wrong, she's spunky and understands how to push buttons, but she really just amazes me everyday. When I tell her "no" she says "okay mama, maybe next time we can" . i just love that. I love that she doesnt throw a fit in the store when I tell her she cant have something she just says "oh okay, maybe next time." and she's right, because generally when she's patient she ends up getting to do what she wants. I just think its pretty big of a 2 year old to understand that.

Women of faith is in 2 weeks and I cannot wait for that conference. I have some check ups (routine) in IC on the 15th and then the Casting Crowns concert and then a shopping trip to IC with some girlfriends from work and I am soo ready for spring. all these plans make it feel like its just around the corner. the weather was about 35 today and it was soo refreshing. it didnt hurt to walk outside and some of the snow is melting finally, though we still have ice cycles hanging off the front of our house that are at least 9 inches across and 5 ft long, some of them go from the roof to the ground. We have been physcially unable to get our front door open for about 3 months. the snow drifts there really bad and is now a solid block of ice about 6 inches high. which makes getting the mail very challenging, ive about lost a finger several times trying to wedge my finger in the 1/2 inch slot to get the mailbox open (which hangs on the side of the house) and get the mail out. Oh spring- please hurry!!!