sick day garb

Artistic photos : By Vaughn-elise

Vaughn's first experience with the digital camera came out with some funky photos. Love them.

sick day.....

traffic jam in the living room

telling her baby to "smile"

Gross, but cute.

All ready for church.

ahhh

I hate being sick. I am such a big baby when I get bad colds. I think stuffy noses are by far the worst thing ever, id rather have...pretty much anything than a stuffy nose. there is simply no relief. I am debating work tomorrow beucase i keep going into the coughing fits and can't hardly finsish a sentence without running out of breathe...with being on the phone all day, i just dont know. Plus, V threw up this evening, not a lot but enough to concern me that she's getting sick too. I HATE when she is sick, its the worst. She is sleeping on the couch with me but has laid around all evening and not done much of anything but want to snuggle and read. Poor girly.

I think Rudy is going to put an offer in on a house Monday...EXCITING. Nerve racking all in one. Yikes. What a commitment!

Well, I am super tired so ill sign off for now.
Gnight.

random babbles

Funny V.e. story...

Last night, I gave her the ever longed after treat of an oreo. she left it on the floor and i thought she was done so i move it. She started looking around the living room and looking very worried and then i hear her sweet little voice calling out my mantra "Chocket....choecket....where go chocket? What doin chocket? Chooooocket?" She was looking everywhere for that little hunk of chocolate. too sweet. i let her look for a while while my heart melted and then gave her back her chocket.

My migraines continue. i know people are sick of hearing about them but i am more sick of getting them. I dont know that i have ever had a headache that did not turn into a migraine in the past 7 ish months. It worries me. I am going to see a neurologist in September but until then, im pretty much hurting. I got a prescription for a super strong migraine medicine and she said most people it will last several months. HA. There are only 9 pills, i have had the prescription just at a week and am half way done with the package. Gr. i dont like taking them becuase its like a heavy pain killer and within about 15 minutes I am passed out and my body is all loopy etc.

My Sisters Keeper....what a sad sad movie. Man! i saw it with my sister and maria and that was such a mistake. what a mess we were. As many people know, i do not remember being sick. It is a part of my life that my mind has somehow gotten rid of. I just dont remember. I hate that. I want to remember details...it is my life afterall. Even watching this movie it wasnt quite real to me that I was her, I had cancer, i was that sick....it doesnt feel like it ever happened to me. I am very non empathetic when people get cancer. I think thats why...becuase i dont remember how bad it was....but i hate that. I wish and have wished for years that everyone I know...from my parents and siblings to the doctors, aunts, uncles, grandparents would all write in great details their experience. I feel like maybe then I would start to remember, or at least have a false memory of it. my grandma sometimes tell me a story here and there and everytime I cry becuase people went through pain because of me and i cannot even remember it. While I feel its probably a big part of who i am and why i am the way I am, I equally feel like it has nothing to do with me...as if it wasnt me. I would love to have a collection of the stories that were part of me. I want them to be raw, real, honest not protecting me, not sugar coating or making worse than was....just how it was.

I am exhausted. I fell asleep at 6:30 with Vaughn becuase aparently were both exhusted.....its taken me 3 hours to write this blog becuase i keep falling asleep and waking up...so i am giving in, going to bed for good.

night all

I am exhausted.

photos:)

waiting in line at adventureland

family pic on the ferris wheel

in line for the train....she didn't so much enjoy in line...

She really did enjoy herself, even though non of the pictures look like it.

she gets her driving skills from me. :) She even has road rage.

her new favorite hobby....coloring.

last sunday, passed out after church.

loving it! First ever sweet corn.

thinking about it......

Another weekend...check

I havent posted for a while but have been so busy and having lots of migraines and just not feeling like blogging.....so im trying to play catch up. We went to adventureland yesterday and it was VERY packed. It was my works big summer outing and IMT Alone has several hundred people there...I would say at least 400 possibly more. Plus there were 2 other huge companies there and the normal saturday croud and the weather was perfect....bummer for the crowds. We got there around 10:30 ish and got to ride a few things (the ferris wheel, train, umbrella swings (which stopped seconds in time for me as i was throwing up in my mouth) and then we stood in line for an hour for the raging river just to find out vaughn was too small. nice. After we ate lunch vaughnie was more than ready for the nap so my parents came and got her and we attempted another couple rides...but after another hour wait for the tornado rollerocaster we called it a day. I got to go back to the Downtown Church last night finally and like always loved it. Today we are just hanign out....long morning nap, baked some sugar cookies with Vaughnie, dinner done and just cleaning and playing. I love sundays.

Vaughn amazes me everyday how verbal she has become. Her sentences flow on and on and on and I could just eat her up. She told me today "mama, we woked up in my bed, I like chicken mama, i color beautiyall picture, what daddy doing?" oh i love her to bits. these are probably more sepearte thoughts but the way she says them is all strung together.

We've had beautiful october weather her and I cannot tell you how wonderful it has been! It makes me excited for October and refreshes me for the rest of the summer. Its so gorgeous. We have had the windows open all weekend. Its making me super pumped about the color drive in October and reminds me how busy our fall is. Rudy and I were figuring we only have maybe one weekend open from october until the end of the year....that includes a few weeekends I have reserved for fun things. I love to stay busy!

Speaking of busy, we need to make a quick walmart trip so I should get going....will post pics later. Enjoy the sunday....

hair?

So, Im totally wanting to do something new with my hair...i have been trying and trying to grow it out but its not seeming to get very long...plus i usually pull it back everyday so why does it matter if its long or not. I love love love this cut but idk....whats your thoughts? Should I? I would go darker with it though, not this blond.

It's 9:30 and Vaughn-elise is just going to bed. Rudy played ball all day and I wanted her to see him tonight so they are up laying in bed and I have time to write a little. This weekend has been hard...Rudy's dad is really sick and the diagnosis is not positive. He has been sick for a very long time but has not really shown signs or symptoms that we've been aware of. He is now in the hospital....they are going to do more tests this week. It has gotten me emotionally and I never deal well with death or the preparation for it...I am such a planner and not knowing kills me. It makes me feel like I need to save people and just gives me horrible anxiety. It makes me wonder what they are thinking, worried about, regretting. What are the memories they wish they could pass on about their life, their childhood, does anyone know the things about them that made them who they are? I want to document their life, their loves stories, trials, everything. I am so thankful and lucky that I have gotten to make such amazing memories with my grandparents. I know losing my grandpa was the hardest thing i have ever had to experience. He was my hero, my buddy and I admired him and looked at him in awe and adoration. I hope each person who passes has at least one person who looks at them and loves them like I love my grandpa.It makes me so sad that Rudy's dad will not see Vaughn grow up and she will not have memories of him. Rudy wants us all to go up in two weekends. I would love to get everyone together and get some family pictures for them, take some video tape of them all together of him and Vaughnie. Its just very sad. My heart hurts for him and his family. Prayers are much needed and appreciated.

suggestions?

I have had an ongoing 3 day migraine. I get them several times a week but typically have some sort of relief. Nothing seems to be helping. I am set up in Sept to see a neruologist becuase my hands and feet have been going numb when i get them and just at random times but I cant wait that long for relief...

Any suggestions are MUCH appreciated!

Thanks!

Jesus Loves Me

Nothing melts my heart like my daughter. Her newest thing is singing Jesus loves me....interspersed with some lines from this little piggy and itsy bitsy spider but its the most precious thing nonetheless. I love her. I love her. I love her. She's my bestest.

Swinging...her favorite

Daddy and Vaughnie watching the parade from the shelter of an auning

My Miss America

Madelyn and Vaughn

my whole world

love this face. she loved that goat, until it tried to eat her shirt.

on the train.

"Red White Boom" kinda lame but it killed some time.

Fireworks.
















































RECAP:

The Long weekend was great. We went to the quad cities and it was so nice to just have some quality us time....no jobs to go to, not errands to run, nothing to clean or do....just hanign out. Thursday we just hung out as we didnt get there til around 4 (but I got to sleep the ENTIRE way there...seriously I was out before we hit the inters tate) and then Friday we hung out during the day and then went to visit some of Rudy's friends, went to the park with his niece and great neice Madelyn and then to the "Red, White, Boom" festival and the fireworks over the river. That was alot of fun.
Saturday was HAPPY WET COLD 4TH OF JULY. We got up early to hit the parade..in the pouring rain and had dressed Vaughnie up in her little miss america dress and she looked so beautiful and then we stepped outside and it was F.R.E.E.Z.I.N.G....like 50 some degrees. WE were the only duffusses who were in summer clothes with no umbrellas or jackets but we just werent prepared for November weather. Ooops. We went home dripping wet and put on some dry clothes. There was a festival that we wanted to go to so we made a mad dash to wal mart to get V some warm clothes (hoping they would either have rain gear or long sleeves for toddlers....WRONG....but they had some sweat suits for regular girls so we bought extra small and made it work for her. She actually looked super cute. They were supposed to be capris but worked as sweat pants for her. Okay, sorry, im being boring....
Anyways, festival, fireworks and hanging out...it was great. Vaughn stayed up both nights for the fireworks. Good Girl. Actually on the 4th Rudy had to wake up both Vaughn and I to go to them cause we were fast asleep by 8. Its nice to be home.

Went to IC today and found out I have more fractures in my foot. Great. They dont know whats going on or why my foot bones are breaking so readily but i had more tests and we'll see. The bone scan techs think there might be 4 different fractures in my foot. GRR. Im just annoyed and want to cry and throw in the towel...will I ever be crutches, wheelchair, brace free for even a full year? SOOO frustrating! I know I should be counting my blessings and thankful that its only fractures but its just difficult. I dont want to wear a huge freaking sweaty, itchy, ugly, clunky boot that makes it impossible to walk without looking like a complete gay wad. Embarassing.

Thats my update. Nothing thrilling. Oh funny story...we were going through downtown davenport on the 4th and discussing how trashy the area was and how rudy used to be scared to deliver pizzas there and clear as day vaughn said from the backseat. "Ghetto!" We could not stop laughing. I am REALLY going to have to start watching it. The other day in the car she threw up her hands in the back seat and yelled angrily "GO lady Go! MOOOVE" oops. I think i might have a road rage issue! Haha.

a whole lotta pictures....

Im tired, so I thought instead of writing Id just post some pics. These are pics of the storm that almost killed me and some of fathers day at the cubs game and just some of Vaughnie.


Not much going on other than that I am THRILLED to be done with the work week. I thought I would be back Monday but my dr wants to see me first thing Monday morning for more tests and to probably cast my foot. the fracture pain has moved to my bones near my foot and its just getting worse and my fooot is so swollen flip flops barely fit. Annoying. So, no car I somehow have to find my way back to iowa City on Monday. Gr. Happy 4th of July everyone. I love this holiday.....so partriotic, makes me so proud to be an american. can't wait for Vaughn to see her first fireworks and enjoy the parade and festivals. We will be in the quad cities so i dont know waht htey have going on but rudy says its always a big deal. Have a blast everyone.