Being away from Vaughn 40 plus hours a week has not gotten any easier. With wedding season upon us I am now not only working full time during the week and spending evenings editing, my weekends are full of weddings and family shoots. I remember now, why 2 years ago, we made the decision for me to just cut it down to one job. My body, heart and mind dont keep up well with this schedule. Sunday, I laid in bed and cried. I had to get up for another shoot and my body hurt so bad from the non-stop-moving for the past month that I just wanted to give up. I know it sounds like I am whiny. I m not . Im just feeling defeated. I come home to a beautiful little face who is so excited to have her mama home, we are back to co sleeping and frankly, I'm fine with it. I like having her next to me since we spend so much time apart. Judge. I dont care. I miss her.

But for some reason when I am not home, I start to get more aggravated when I am home. The unfinished bathroom never bothered me when I was home and now I get so upset every morning trying to work around it. The undecorated walls never bothered me and now I want stuff hung. The "gotta be creative with what food we have" challenge was fun and now I hate it and loathe coming home to an empty fridge with no time to grocery shop. I feel like I stink at this. It makes me restless. It makes me sad. I miss Vaughnie. I so badly wish I had the days off to take her to the beach, the library, the movies, to sidewalk chalk, blow bubbles, play kickball, picnics and outdoor reading time, to take her to the park, the science center or on play dates. :( I need a better routine. I think I will have to completely cut back on photography at this point. Maybe one weekend a month.

I am going on a girls weekend camping trip this year with my girlfriends this weekend. This has been planned for months (long before I was thinking seriously about a job) and I am sooo excited about going. Sad that it will be a long week without V, a weekend away from her, another long week away from her and a weekend that follows full of shoots and a wedding.....but then July is free....I'm hoping to take her camping, take advantage of the free weeekends, hit the farmers market, garage sales and just have some good ole fashioned summer fun.

I thought financially  I would be able to pick up great with a job but its taking me a couple paychecks to get caught up. I'll get there. I'm ready to be able to not worry about all that crap. All the money stuff and just have enough to pay the bills and have a little fun. Keep us in your prayers during this time....neither V nor myself are doing real well with it.

The times they are a changing

Some moments we sit and think deeply on our lives and what seems the day to day turns into the changes that stick out the most when we look back on these beautiful times. Our lives, here in this humble little home, have changed vastly recently. I took another job, which was intended to be a WFH position but they asked me to take a suite in the new area of Des Moines and I said yes. Its been incredibly painful and sad to walk out the door every morning and see Vaughn upset, tired, sad....I miss her all.day.long. My heart aches throughout the day and I even melt down sometimes. Part of parenting, the hardest part is not the raising of the child its doing the things in your life that you dont want to do so that you can better their lives. We deserve a chance and I'm gonna fight for it. We will be free. So I humbly accept the job- and its uneasy emotions that come with it. "I wont give up on us. Even if the skies get rough. I'm giving you all my love. I'm still looking up."

My heart holds great joy and anticipation for whatever the future holds for us. I know it will be greatness, love beyond possible understanding, passion in bucketfulls and great memories and lessons.

Untitled:

There is a mist of quiet silence
that summons the pain

The loud that rings of voices in tune
out of tune like rain

one which draws the other near
to heart, to mind, to ear

One which calls to the other
in hope and destitute and fear

And in the silence and in the loud
my voice it sings

because the sound of pain, joy, gain
are blessings that ring

And in you I find me and shutter at the sight
For its brilliant, brilliant and bright.

And I cling to that image for fear that its wrong
as yours is not mine, I dont belong.

So when I touch your gentle hand and when I beg those words of you
you say mine,  you're beautiful too

And the loud and the noise are distant at best
For you- I ignore, I rest.

Happy Mothers Day Mamas

It's mothers day 5-13-2012. One year ago, on this same date, I found out our family was over. Today has been bittersweet. I woke up to the sweetest little 4 year old giving me flowers from the yard, a banana and a bag of gifts (Thank you, Mom for taking her out and letting her pick out gifts- so special.) and snuggles from my little. My cup runneth over. I always feel SO blessed and SO grateful on Mother's Day because I never thought, in a million years, I'd get the chance to hear anyone call me Mother/Mom/Mama. Each time I hear it, a little blessing bell rings loudly in my heart. I could not be more blessed. The past year has shown me what single parenting is all about but also shown me more joy as a mom than I knew was possible to feel. It has made me thankful for my own mom who reminded me to stand tall when I couldnt get out of bed, who reminded me to walk with my head up when I wanted to look down in shame and exhaustion and who reminded me that no matter how hard it is at times, that little girl needs her momma to be confident- even when I didn't feel very confident. 
Mothering is hard, mothering alone is exhausting and mothering in any form-is the most rewarding, profound thing I could ever fathom doing. I still hold hope that one day, I wont be mothering alone and the thought of that day brings both sadness and great hope. 
Not one night goes by that I do not thank my God for that sweet baby girl that made me a mama just 4 1/2 years ago. I never imagined a child so full of wonder and love and so full of energy! She's my side kick and my love. 
 So today, I am thankful beyond measure for two people in my life, my daughter and my momma! Thank you mom, for all your sacrifices and all your love! And to all the moms reading this- blessed are you!

We went to the machine shed for lunch with the whole fam (minus M & M- They were in Wisco) and V got to play on the tractors outside while we waited.

Preschool helped the kids do these for their moms. So sweet.

A mother's day photo shoot.

These were hand picked from our yard by my sweet girl. The note from her preschool had one more thing on it which said "what makes my mom the happiest?" and her response was "when she gets flowers." Sweet.

I even got to lay outside for a while why V rested. Ahhhh...relaxing.

The three moms....HORRIBLE pic of me (thanks dad!) but cute of the other girls.

More of our photo shoot.

Happy May Day!

April Showers Bring May Flowers! This is so true, our yard is popping with colorful flowers in the backyard, which are being picked as quickly as they grow by a sweet little 4 year old who likes to dote over her mama. We made May baskets for our friends today. I wish I had taken pictures. Vaughnie was soo stinking cute running up to doors and knocking, then running back to the car. She just loves doing things for other people. She was nervous that her friends would forget her so while she was at preschool I left her a May basket and pretended I didnt know who did it. She was sooooo excited and talked about it all day. She felt bad that I didnt get one so she snuck one in my office while I was working, knocked and ran away. She's got such a sweet heart. Melts mine.

Maria and I are having a huge garage sale this weekend. So.Much.Work. Hoping to make alot of money. I took my first load to her house tonight and its nice to have it out of the kitchen! The rest is at my parents and I am guessing they will be happy to have it out of their house as well!

Wedding season is upon us. Which means, Good bye Saturday!

Tomorrow is my brother's 24th bday which seems strange. Since he got married I feel like he is older than that!
Happiest Birthday Mack! 

Happy 90th Birthday and Awana's Awards

Last Wednesday, Vaughnie had her Awana's awards night. Sweet little was so proud. She got a ribbon for participation and learned so many Bible verses this year. She went every Wed night and loved it!

We then hit the road on Thursday to head to Illinois to celebrate my Grandma Margaret turning 90!!! Crazy....We had so much fun. A Little Stress, but mostly fun. SOO many people showed up that I think she was really honored. It was sweet. We had to leave way to early but we were all exhausted and in need of some rest!!

Papa Date night

Our church held a "Daddy Daughter Date Night." and Vaughn is just lucky enough to have a Papa to step in where "daddy" doesn't and take her to special things like this. This is such a precious memory. She was so stinking nervous and so excited and for 2 days everything was about "my special date with papa." She didnt know it was supposed to be for daddies....she just knew it was for dads or uncles or papas. She felt like a million bucks. That morning she said "So, does this mean I get to start going on REAL dates???.....like REAL ones?!?" I said "Ummm not a chance....just with daddy, uncle mack and papa." and she decided that was good for now. :) She asked a hundred times "do you think papa will like my dress? Do you think papa will think I look pretty? Should I wear make up for papa? Should I wear these shoes or these? Papa likes my hair in braids so lets do that!" It.Was.Precious. When we got to gma and papa's house she was a nervous wreck. You can sort of tell in the pictures. First and foremost was showing papa how her dress twirled....cause that's the most important part of picking out a dress for a date!

Papa even had an extra special surprise for the very special date....a corsage....how stinkin' precious is that??? It was the tiniest little corsage I have ever seen. So precious.

And then they were off....a night of dinner, crafts, cake walks, music and good ole papa/vaughnie bonding time. She still beams when she talks about her "Very special date with papa." So sweet.

This is how I procrastinate:)

I have so much to do today- I have a shoot HERE AT MY HOUSE at 4. She wants indoors done of maternity pics and doesnt have the room in hers so we're doing it here. Wish me luck, I don't have a studio, or a finished "public" bathroom, or a place for people to sit (bringing her husband and son) but---- I'll try. These are the days (actually, most days) I wish I had a studio in my basement. AND she wants outdoor photos just in the backyard, but since the storm its a mess with sticks etc and is in desperate need of a mowing. Oh well, we'll walk to the park if we have to. But instead of preparing I am blogging. I'll get to it.

Yesterday, I had emergency oral surgery. You all know how I am about dentists. They make me want to off myself in a serious way. The anxiety of going to them is enough to send me to a nut house. They smell. They are cruel. There is nothing good that comes from them. Pain, and numb face syndrome and both suck. So, because I don't have dental insurance I had to go to Broadlawns (the place in DSM where people go without insurance.) You can imagine the people that were there. An old vetran who was going crazy and ranting and raving about Pow Mia, some very un-hygenic people sitting right next to me (I was literally gagging), an old lady who was supposed to be watching a 4 month old but was getting so mad that she was "fussing" (the lady was holding her by her arms and trying to "stand" her on the ground for like 15 minutes...a 4 month old...I'd be fussing too) that I thought she was going to beat her. But, instead she handed her to a dentist and said "do something with her, i cant handle the sound of her anymore." Yup- room was full of classy folk. There were a few "normals" in there too, some who appeared to be business women but mostly, just weirdos. Anyways- we got there at 6:45 and waited outside until they opened at 7 and then had to stand in line for nearly an hour while they registered everyone. Only to be told I couldn't have Vaughn there with me, so my mom came and got her and my sister watched her (huge thanks guys!) and i waited for 41/2 hours before being called back to get my tooth pulled....which took all of ten minutes. Good news is I feel much better. Even better news is that it was hugely eye opening as to what people who are in a bad spot have to go through and even more eye opening to the fact that I better get some dental insurance ASAP. The truth is I am glad there are places like that so I didn't have to be miserable anymore with this throbbing tooth, but still....clearly there is something wrong with the system.

We are leaving on Thursday to see my Grandma and celebrate her 90th BIRTHDAY!!! What a huge accomplishment!! I am excited to go party hard with her and get a few days away from editing and some quality time with fam.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Easter Pictures

This was the best we could get. After 17 photos of V with her eyes clothes- we gave up! That girl is so sensitive to light!

Easter morning egg hunt outside our house

I dont know if you can tell but she has chocolate oozing from her mouth...at 6:30 am. Ick. Guess its never too early for Chocolate.

Gma, Papa and V on Easter!

G & V (cousins- A is in the background). The bunny came to gma and papas too. So sweet of them to make holidays super special for the kiddos.

This papa....he gets right in and plays too:)

V and me, her proud mama, on Easter. One of the eggs was empty and she said "It's the BEST one cause its empty- like the tomb!!"

These crack me up, this girl CANNOT keep her eyes open for pictures. And the mouth is always open, like a puppet.

Aunt mimi doing a photo op with the kiddos.

The preschool went on an egg hunt to the nursing home/V called it "The Dead Home". This was her FIRST EVER bus ride! She was more excited about that than the eggs!

Checking out her basket at home! She was soo cute.

Egg Decorating!!

 A Little late but better than never....an abundance to make up for the time:)

Easter 2012

The older I get the more into Easter I get, the more it becomes one of my favorite holidays. The song "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" is such a powerful song- sang at the end of every Good Friday Service at Hope- a man with soul changing deep voice and a set of drums. Thats its. The lights are off, there is the last scene from Passions of The Christ on the big screen, silenced and its amazing. Really reminds us about what Easter is about.

One of the things I like to think about at this time is not only what Jesus did for us but about what it had to have been like to be one of the people there. His mother, for instance. How desperate she must have felt. How gut wrenching it must have been to watch your child tortured. It brings me to tears.

I never understood the part in the story where Christ says "My father, why have you forsaken me?" And it always made me question how we say that God never leaves nor forsakes us....and yet, he did just that to his Son- or so it seemed. But this year, on Black Friday they talked about how that pain, watching your son in that sort of moment- was probably so intensely horrific, for a God who feels our pains and anguish that he possibly had to look away. I cannot imagine anything more horrific than losing a child, but never imagined nor thought about God feeling that same wretched pain of watching HIS child go through that. I have been playing "How Deep The Fathers Love for Us" all weekend. I found this Youtube video that is one of my favorites. Gives me chills.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed to hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that kept Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Love me some Jesus talk

Disclaimer (not that I should have to on my own blog.:)) I am speaking my heart, rambling through some lost thoughts and putting things down in effort to sort them out. I don't feel this is an offensive post but some may- bare with me while I talk it out).

I am in the middle of reading 2 incredibly challenging, insightful, mind boggling books. Crazy Love by Francis Chan and The Gospel According to Jesus Christ. I have been working my way through Crazy Love for a long time now- its a lot to take in. A Very POWERFUL read and exactly where my heart has been at struggle for YEARS. The Gospel According to Jesus Christ is a new read, and along the same lines- that the modern day church is completely and udderly missing the entire point of Christianity. Living within a comfortable confines of the lukewarm Christian lifestyle, fussing over the size and comfort level of the church instead of the hurting, needing, Jesus missing and lost people around them. I struggle in writing this because I have struggled for YEARS. I have always felt that something was missing...I have always felt like by calling myself a Christian, it meant I was supposed to be good, pretty, tithe and go to church. That if I made my parents & the church look good by not swearing, not drinking, having an appropriate relationship etc etc etc that "people" see you as a Christian. When in my heart, I know that this concept, these people who want you to look good are the exact reason why people hate Christianity. Because if we really LOVE this JESUS that we say we do- we're not living like it, loving like it, standing like it or BEING it at all. Loving Jesus doesn't mean having a big comfy church with nice chairs and looking pretty on Sunday and singing loudly and giving your 10% and being "good". It means that its sometimes dirty, that your sometimes radical, that you give everything.you.have and that blessing the lives of others is more important than where you attend, how often you attend or how big your church is.
Both books spend time on the lukewarm-that God spits us out and doesn't want a lukewarm anything. He wants hot or cold. He wants us to love on the filthy, the crazy, the messed up, the pained, the broke, the sad, the druggies, the prostitutes, the misfits, the imprisoned, the brokenhearted, EVERYONE to share his love.

I understand that "not everyone's heart is the same" and not everyone has a mission minded heart. But then are we really who we say we are? If this is what God COMMANDS of us, then does it matter if we're comfortable with it? Do you think he really CARES if our heart is a mission minded heart? If it's a Jesus Minded heart then it does these things. Right? I have struggled, openly, about the fact that my heart is very mission minded. I would rather be serving- in the slums, in this country or others, doing the dirty work than being in a service any day. That is my heart. And I know that not everyone feels that way. And I do feel that often I struggle to "find the opportunity to do these things" and thats a lame lame excuse. The truth is that there is pain, suffering, hurting, nasty lives, people missing the point, craving love, craving Jesus all.over.the.place. I say "well I have Vaughn so I cant just go do stuff." That's crap. She has the same sort of heart as I do. She hurts for the hurting, prays for the tornado victims with an outpouring of passion, wants to give her things to those without- she's a passionate loving child and I WANT and FEEL RIGHT to raise her to be selfless....why not take her along? Let her start young at really being the hands and feet of Jesus.

I am praying my way through these books- that I am convicted to the core and that I don't allow modern day lukewarm Christianity to take hold of my heart, that I don't fall into the "way I should look" to others and that I can teach my child (and myself) that maybe being radical is the only way to be. Dropping ALL judgement, Loving ALL People worshiping my God with my whole heart and not "for" anyone else. Does that make sense?

My sweet friend Molly and I have been having coffee dates almost weekly for over 4 years. Sometimes we miss a month here and there but always pick back up. We've seen each other through a lot of crap. WE have had a lot of hard talks and this one in particular keeps coming up. So nice to have a like minded friend that we can talk it out about this stuff.

Missing her already

This weekend we lost my sweet sweet Grandma Bev. She was a woman of grace, elegance and so incredibly beautiful. She suffered so very much the last few years of her life and lost so much of herself to Alzheimer's. There was still many many many moments in her days where she shined as herself. Where her laugh made you laugh, where her stories were truth and where her memory clear. Other times you just wanted to reach in and pull her out. You wanted to help her find herself in her confusion. It was heart breaking. I am blessed that my memories of her are not clouded by these last few years. I am blessed with the ability to get to spend a lot of time with her while she was in assisted living and the nursing home and I will miss that time very very very much. I think because she was sick for so long I find peace in knowing she is in Heaven, with my grandpa and her mind is at rest. Her spirit calm and not confused and she can dance (her favorite thing to do) for all of eternity without tiring. I just picture her giggling, dancing, enjoying the sunlight and watching her grandkids while telling grandpa "Don't you just love watching them? Aren't they just so much fun to watch?" With a big smile on her face. To say she will be missed is an understatement. She was a beautiful soul and I was blessed to have her as my Grandma.

We will ALWAYS love and miss you, Grandma!

SPRING cleaning!!!

This weather is rad. Seriously. Nothing like the first few days of spring. Even after an insanely mild winter- the birds chirping (as long as not too closely) the windows open, the sounds, scents, feelings. Ahhhhhhh. Say it with me. Ahhhhhh.

Today, I got Vaughn dropped off at school, opened the windows and started some music. The hall closet was first to be tackled. We had SO much stuff packed in there. Its now freshly organized WITH room to spare. check.

I have turned the kitchen into garage sale USA. Mixed in with my dads work shop (bathroom is still unfinished so all the tools etc to do that are still sitting in the kitchen) is about 6 totes and 4-5 boxes of garage sale crap.

V and I headed to the garage after school and brought in TONS of stuff (along with a few nasty gross spiders.) and have added to the garage sale pile. i have no idea why I packed half the crap I packed. But I did, and I am now sorting. The house is complete disarray right now, but it will feel good to have everything pulled out, sorted, sold and reorganized. I am not one to hang onto crap. I OFTEN take things to goodwill. I have just don't have a bunch of stuff that I don't use. I never have. When I don't want things I give it or throw it away. It annoys the crud out of me to have too much clutter, stuff, nick knacks. Its like sensory overload. But Every time I go through stuff I find more I want to get rid of. So, I am. I feel like I might regret that someday. Getting rid of everything. My parents have SHELVES of stuff in their basement from when we were little and the grand kids LOVE it. And we do too. Fun to reminisce. I don't have anything like that. I have a few outfits, sentimental stuff, art work, shoes etc that I am keeping but no more than 2 boxes max.

Anyways, it has felt sooo good to get stuff going. Lots more to do but its my plan for the week. On top of editing. Lots of that to do too that is more urgent than spring cleaning.

SONG MUST HAVE:::: I downloaded Gia Lucid's "Remind Me" album. If you do not have this you MUST RUN TO DOWNLOAD IT NOW!!!! It has been on repeat in my house for like 2 days. GORGEOUS!! 

It.is.not.worth.it

This is hard. This post. It's raw.

My marriage ended. The trust I had with a man I thought I knew ended. The pain was/is real, strong, damaging, often intense. The self hatred of it all is real, strong, damaging, intense. Those pains are enough. I know that everyone wants me to hate Rudy. Everyone wants me to despise him, to be angry and mad about the things he has done....and is still doing. And I am. I am furious about the no show days he doesnt come get his daughter, I am irrate about the burdens he left me to carry alone and my heart is broken for the brokenness he has caused my precious child. But I cannot. willnot spend my time hating, regretting, and being vengeful. I will do what it takes to make a life for Vaughn. I will be the best damn mom I know how to be. I will go to no ends for that little bundle of my everything. I will not allow him to destroy our lives any longer. I know everyone who watched us suffer wants to see us happy....but most are still encouraging me to hate him, to tell him off. The truth is, that only hurts me. The truth is that will kill me even more. The truth is that he doesn't care an ounce about the lessons I want him to learn or the pain I want him to feel or the pain he has caused us. WHY should I spend one more second or ounce of energy, one more tear or moment of my life worrying, hating him? It's like lighting myself on fire and expecting him to get burned. It will kill me. I forgave that man, who ever he is,  a long time ago. A Very long time ago. I did it because I had to, not because he asked for it....but because I dont want to be damaged anymore by him. In spirit, heart, mind. None. Nothing about him is worth that. I pray that one day he realizes the true treasures he gave up, that he missed out on moments that are more precious than anything else in this entire lifetime and he missed them on purpose. I hope that eventually destorys him. But me....I'm done being destroyed, made little, deminished by his actions. When he doesn't show- we go on. We (Vaughn and I ) are still a family. I love her enough. Someday there will be a man in her life, and mine that shows us what a husband and dad are....what that feels like....and that will be a day in God's timing, his chosing and I have faith that it will be incredible. Until then, we are okay.

The Voice of Truth.

I have heard this song ten thousand times. I never loved it. Today, I heard it in the car and broke down crying. Somtimes, I feel like everyone's voices are shouting at me, telling me things like "you're not enough, you will never find anyone, you are not pretty enough, smart enough, kind enough, you dont make enough, you suck you suck you suck you suck." And I sometimes feel like God is saying "Climb out- This is my truth, These pains are for MY glory- I am bringing you where I want you, putting those in your life that you need and when the time is right for someone to change your life, I will hand them to you. Trust me. I will pick someone better than you can fathom, more than you can imagine, more than enough for you. Let me write your story far better than you can ever dream. Let me make it wonderful." And just when I start to trust I hear those stupid voices again. "you.are.not.enough."

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again "boy, you'll never win!
"You'll never win"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Billfold Mercy

When we go out to eat, to church or...well, anywhere that requires sitting still- It's a living nightmare. V is at the stage where any amount of free time means trouble. So, I found this cheap-o wallet at goodwill for $1.09. I cut up scrapbook pages, images from an avon catalog (they always have toys, stuffed animals, lots of kid like images), some stickers and put them in the slots. I put the small pieces as well as little jewels to glue into the zipper pouch. I also cut photos of family members and her as a baby into wallet sized pictures and stuffed them full in the picture department. Vaughn LOVES stories about when she was a kid or when we did this or that or about family members, so this will be perfect story telling time. In the back cig/cellphone compartment I put a glue stick and a granola bar.


I told her about it and put it in my purse and she has asked daily to use it. We haven't been able to yet but I have a feeling it will be a great tool! Its stuffed full of goodness!

Silly Jamison

The Leprechaun has struck again. He's been leaving lots of gold and fools gold (chocolate in gold wrappers...) around our house. He has left St Pats day hair ties and little notes, moved around our st pats decorations into silly spots and pee'd in our toilet and left sparkles all over the toilet seat. He is QUITE the trickster. The shenanigans are about to get worse as we get closer to the big day. I just have a feeling;)

Found this old ugly goose plaque at Goodwill for $.99 and thought I could use it to make a cheap St Pats day decor. This is what I ended up with, for now.

Also found the (below) small gold pot. Its adorb and works perfect for all the things "Jamison" leaves around our house. They had this HUGE one (ok, like the size of a md sauce pan for like $3.99 that was actually shiny gold. kicking myself for not getting that.)

Also at goodwill for $.99 was this oh so cute and tiny green glittery house. PERFECT for Jamison we decided. It had to be ours. We have a few other St pats decor up (window clings, a few other signs etc.) and are loving each day of the excitement. Will keep you updated as the chaos continues. :)