phones

I am officially having a bad day. it is official that the universe has decided that today is simply not my day. somewhere out there someone is having a blast, enjoying the sun, smiling, laughing and eating a bowl of ice cream. Not here. Still cant find my phone- refuse to pay the outrageously rediculous prices that sell phone companies charge for new phones. The cheapest? 200. SO I will wait until someone on craigslist has one I can afford. I HATE not having a phone.
I am hot. I am breaking out. I am swollen footed and handed. We are out of groceries, out of money, out of patience.
I went to talk to the cater and discovered there is no way on this pretty green earth that i can ever in my dreams pay for the food i want at the wedding. i refuse to serve lunch meat sandwiches and am starting to feel like thats my only choice. i almost cried in the caters office. after telling her the foods i would like she asked my budget. then laughed. she must have thought i was stupid through and through or something. I will not go in debt over food at the wedding. i wont. but i have a feel, an image and a style that I would like to maintain. Maybe I just cant.

By the way, this weekend i will be hauling loads to the curb. feel free to come by and go through our crap. I want it gone. And I am JUST in that sort of mood that chucking large objects onto the street sounds refreshing and therapeutic.

sitting on some good words

The other day at work, a sweet friend (and co worker) emailed me a forward. At the end there were some words that particularly stuck out to me. I have been sitting on them ever since. God works in some pretty fantastic, sly ways and what could have been just another chain letter turned into some life changing words. It said.....

"Don't ask or expect God to guide your way unless you are willing to move your feet."

Now repeat that over and over and you will experience a few minutes inside my head. I needed those words so incredibly badly. I had just never thought of it quite  like that but in essence that is exactly what I do. I pray  on things, request things, expect God to show me what he wants from me and then I sit. I live the same way I have been, ignore gut feelings, ignore instincts and just expect a tag board and sharpie made sign to appear on my front door some day. Rediculous.

I say, "I am sick of this house. Its unorganized, a mess, no space, undecorated." I pray that God just makes me love where I am at. Why? If I dont like it, shouldnt I do something to make myself love it? Get to organizing, redecorating? Making this feel like home? You bet I should!

I pray and pray and pray that God provides financially for us. That we dont live paycheck to paycheck. That we can afford to pay off some debt, that money comes in for us. When instead, he has supplied me with talents and passions that provide a great income and I have not chosen to utilize them.

I ask God to help me live a healhty lifestyle. To turn down the bad stuff and do more of the good.....and then I sit on the couch eating ice cream and a ho ho and wonder why I cant fit into those jeans, wonder why I have no energy.

"Don't ask or expect God to guide your way unless you are willing to move your feet." Wow.

Lets get to moving!!!!! Looking forward to some life changing! 

This is another (one of my favorites) engagement pics Amanda took of us.

And the Lord spoke

God hates Garage Sales. I am convinced. There must be some commandment about "thou shalt not sell your things under a covering in your yard." there must be. After 3 tries, Maria and I threw in the towel. The first try, my sweet grandpa Don passed away. The second try, it monsoon-ed all morning, we set up late- had a man offer to buy our carport and that was about it. I stated I would NOT be bringing things back in our house- WRONG. I gave in. Decided to shoot for the next week, Maria had Friday off and we thought that would be perfect as rudy would be home too. Mid morning, tornadoes hit, neighbors tree fell in the yard, garage sale stuff flying around the yard, they packed up and came in. The clouds cleared about the time I got home and so I unpacked and reset up. (I know- I'm crazy...but gal darnit- I want this crap GONE). Not ten minutes after I set up, it started raining again. The neighbor just laughed. He's been trying to pour a concrete driveway too but same thing keeps happening to him- about the time the trucks show up, the rain starts. I have cried and cried. I have so much stuff in my living room it is litterally taking over the whole room...minus a walkway...its been that way for a month. I cannot stand it another moment. Tonight, I will set up a goodwill pile, and a consignment pile. This stuff WILL be out of here within the week. It stinks, I know some of what i have is worth selling (vaughns clothes etc) but there comes a point when 20 dollars is just plain not worth the work! I want my house back, I want to rearrange, redecorate.

I have also been in the works of painting the playroom. The plan? Sage green. The outcome? Army green. Its better than the bright baby blue in there now. Same color as the kitchen and its just  too.much.blue! Vaughn tells me "I dont like those pickle walls." But I think they are growing on her. Me too.

I have decided that I need a second job. Seriously contemplating doing daycare in our home after the wedding is over. Rudy will be able to add me to his insurance and I could make more money...this is an idea we have toyed with for sometime and I do think I would miss the adult interaction but Vaughn-elise is growing so quickly and is so impressionable at this point.  I want to cherish these last couple years before she heads out in the big world....AND, as mentioned, it would save us money.....and I can sacrifice adult conversation for some extra cash...easily. Thats what phones are for right?  Which by the way, mine has gone missing. Its been a week now...I am lost without it but rudy thinks we'll find it when we go through the garage sale stuff....we'll see.

I have also put an add on craigslist for my sister and I to do wedding photography. We'll see if we get any takers! This is one of the engagement photos amanda took of Rudy and I...I will add more as I get time.

bridal shower #1

So, here I am trying to sort through some music ideas for the wedding.  Easy? SUUUURE.  i have a feeling I will walk around on my wedding day with black streaks down my face, blotches on my dress, tear soaked hair.....you get the picture. (attractive, no?) Maybe I will just pick a rap song?...disney song? Not that showing a little emotion is bad- but its not even my wedding day and I look like i poured a glass of water down the front of my shirt.....what a mess.
If you have any suggestions, please post them!!



PS....have you seen anyone look cuter in eyewear?!