Let it snow...let it snow...let it snow....

"Sleeping Santa Baby..."

This has been an exhausting week both mentally, emotionally, physically- just draining all around. It is really gettting to me that i dont have the resources to make this first Christmas for vaughn-elise something magical and amazing. I know she wont remember til she's older, but I will. I know I should be thankful that she is here and that i have a warm place to be and clothes on my back- but sometimes that hard. Dont get me wrong- I am MORE than thankful for those things...especially for her and she's the best gift ive ever even imagined- I am just stressed thats all.

It was "papa's" (aka: dad) birthday today and we all went over there. I lvoe being home this time of year- its so comfy and makes me feel "at home". It was a good time had by all to just hang out and do birthday cake and eat warm delicious soup. Happy birthday dad.

This weekend is supposed to be a weather disaster and im sort of excited about it. I think if it looks like winter i might feel more jolly- at least i hope.

i am getting excited to see my little NEPHEW!!! Its weird to think there will be a boy around but i am sooo excited. I can just imagine how tiny and adorable and snuggly he will be and i think about him all the time. I wonder what his personality will be like and what he will sound like and look like. He and vaughn-elise will be just three months apart and it will be so fun to have them in the same class. While i dont want to see the babies (especially my own) get older, i just want them to stay tiny forever- I am excited to see what it iwll be like on the holidays. I can imagine the girls as teenagers and dre too and getting together for cookie decorating for the holidays and going sleding etc. Its all just very exciting. But for now, i love every second with my tiny one and even when we're up til 6:30 am and i am exhausted- I cant imagine it any other way and i feel trully blessed and full of joy and love every time i see her tiny little face. She is my everything- my love.

*The picture above was taken during a mini photo shoot in her santa pjs. She got so comfy, she fell asleep. So stinking cute!

Lia Sophia

If anyone is looking for good Christmas presents for people they know, daughters, mothers, friends, sisters, anyone- please let me know. I sell Lia Sophia jewelry and there are great specials for November/December. My mom should have a book for you to look at or I can get one to you as well. Plus, you dont have to worry about what size, what fragrance, what color- jewelry is a great great gift!

Also, its great for yourself- with holiday parties coming up and this is the time of year that you will be seeing so many people you know and love around the holidays- why not show off a new piece or two?

Poop Update!!

She Pooped!!!! HOORAY! Twice actually. This is a very exciting thing in our house!! And the most exciting this is, i didnt even know when she was doing it- no crying, no screaming or shaking or turning bring red. WOW. HOWEVER , all day yesterday she was back to crying and fussing everytime after she ate the regular enfamil formula. It must still be bothering her stomach. So, we'll try it for a while longer and then will try a different brand maybe of regular formula. I tell you- this hunt for the best formula for her is exhausting!!! Even Rudy came home and heard "that cry" and said "oh no, not again- you switched her back didnt you?"
SIGH- we will find something that works right. BUT she pooped and that was the main thing. It cracks me up to watch her drink her juice- she just LOVES IT. I am sure it tastes incredibly sweet to her and when she is all done and i pull the bottle away- she pouts this really big lippy pout and gets these big puppy eyes like she really wants me to give her more. Its sweet. We had another 6 hour stretch last night that she slept without eating- from 8-2:30! After that it was up every two hours but she the problem is she falls asleep after like an ounce or two so she then gets hungry sooner, i try to keep her up long enough to eat but its a lost cause most of the time. She's her parents daughter- she loves to sleep these days.

We took vaughn-elise to the doctor today to ask about her "poop issues". So, we are trying a few new things. More juice, different formula and if all that fails, she will have to take medicine in her bottle. We are hoping she will see great changes with the small changes in her juice and formula type. It breaks my heart to see her in such pain. The doctors said she may have a slightly immature digestive track. All i know is that i hope it clears up soon.

She has been sleeping, well, like a baby. Finally. Last night she slept for 5 hours straight and only got up once in the night and woke up at 7:45 for the day. WOW!! She also slept all day yesterday and pretty much all day today. I think turkey day wore her out and she must be catching up now!

Only 1 month til the holidays! Its really an exciting time of year and i cant wait. Weather forcast is calling for a strong cold front and while that screams holidays for me, it also screams misery for having to get a baby out in that. We will be staying home most times i am sure!

Hoping to put the Christmas tree up soon and get the house all "holiday-ed up." I just love sitting in a dark room with the glow of a christmas tree and lights around the window and a good cinnimon candle burning! Its my favorite. Christmas movies are on tv now and i am loving every minute of it.

Heading home....

We had a wonderful thanksgiving on thursday and the Illinios people just left us today. Its really quite now after three days of company and i always hate that feeling whne everyone leaves. Its sort of like..."now what?" I have been staying at my parents since wednesday, enjoying the family, but today i am heading back to the apartment to get some much needed cleaning done before rudy comes back from the quad cities tomorrow. I am hoping to get the christmas tree up this week but still need to go through some of my things at my parents and get all my holiday decorations out.
I cant believe Christmas is only a month away. It doesnt feel like it at all! I hate being broke this time of year as i always like to really do up the holidays and make them really special. It is my goal this year to still do that on a very very tight budget.

I am still contemplating my whole job situation. I cant stand the thought of going back to work and REALLY wish i could magically come across some wonderful work from home job. Typing, data entry, medical transcription, anything really, I just cant imagine being away from my baby girl everyday. If you know of anything, do send it my way. I have been avoiding telling LA if i am coming back as i need them for back up but REALLY dont want to go back. Ho Hum, its hard to be in a holiday mood when something so stressful is always on your mind.

But still the countdown is on...exactly one month til Christmas and one more month of crazy insane shoppers and crabby cashiers. Joy!

ITS SNOWING!

You got your wish amanda!! Its snowing!!! I cant believe it. Its exciting though- the first snow fall is always so pretty and its vaughn-elise's first snowfall. How exciting!!! I am hoping to get to town today and run a few errands and then will head over to my parents to help with getting thanksgiving feast prepared. I am excited to see everyone and it will be a good day i am sure! Rudy is going out of town this weekend (if there is no ice storm) so i will be able to spend alot of time with our family from Illinios. I am excited for this! I love when we all get to hang out.

Vaughn is still suffering from her cold and last night we spent the entire night bundled up in the recliner. She did perfect and slept all night long-after 4 or 5 hours i would feed her but she n ever did wake up until around 8 this morning. PERFECT angel.

My xrays came back and they all looked good! This is SUCH a relief. I really have been incredibly concerned and its so good to hear that the bones look fine!!!

Its monday- and mondays are always, for me, a day of "needs". I make to do lists for the week, phone calls i need to make, things i need to get done, and the need list this week for some reason seems extra long. I am leaving in about an hour to go downtown and get some xrays of the bones that hurt in attempt to figure out whats wrong. My sister is coming to the apt to stay with baby vaughnie and i have only left her once, but it is HARD to do. I know she is in good hands but by the time I get home, i am anxious to see her and snuggle her. She has been asleep most of the day- Im jealous! But its allowed me to get some minor picking up done. i am going to my moms tues and wed to help get the house back together and ready for company. Im getting excited to see everyone. Still, Im hoping both vaughn and i feel better by thursday so we can enjoy ourselves!

This weekend has been long and exhausting. We went to the quad cities to see rudy's family. We stayed at his sisters place since it was more accomadating than his moms. Peruvian people are party people so we didnt even go to bed til after 2 am!!!! I am normally out by 10. Luckily, baby vaughn slept in my arms fro 10-2. She slept very well and only got up twice. It was good that they all got to see her and rudy got to see his family- its always a long trip- and longer with a baby. We are glad to be home. I am getting so excited for thanksgiving and hope to be feeling better by then so i can really enjoy it. My goals this week are long and I have much cleaning to do. baby vaughn is now 5 weeks old!!! SHe's growing so much and really starting to make alot of noises and its so fun to watch the new things she does every day.

Its supposed to be yucky this week, raining and snowing. Im excited for the first snow fall but wish we were in a cabin on the mountains so we could be snowed in with just hot chocolate, board games and family (and food.)

One Month Old!!!

I cant believe it!! My baby girl is officially one month old!! Man, that month went FAST!!! She is changing so much everyday and really becoming quite aware. She had her first REAL smile yesterday- no gas smile. It was adorable and she's been smiling all day today. i just love it. She is so attentive to things and just the past few days has really showed that she is holding her gaze on certain things. She's just the sweetest most well behaved baby ever! She is sleeping wonderfully and i am finally adjusting to getting up several times at night.

My birthday was yesterday and it was a really good day. I didnt do anything big but it was so great just to spend the day with my baby girl, snuggling and singing and having her around made my day so much more special and meaningful than ever. I got some great gifts and my parents brought dinner over which was delicious and great not to have to think about making dinner or getting out in the cold to go out to eat.

i am meeting a friend for a birthday lunch today and tomorrow going to my parents to help put the house back together and we will do a dinner at their house as well. Its more of a birthday week really. But today we will celebrate baby vaughns one month. What a big girl!!

I'm getting OLD!

I cant believe that i am 24 year old today! thats like halfway to middle age!!! I cant believe it! I got the best nights sleep and a four hour nap this morning which was the best birthday gift baby vaughn could have ever gotten me! She's been so sweet and snuggly today- she must know its her mama's birthday!

We dont have many plans today- just hanging out around the house. Im hoping to get some cleaning done but we'll see. The drive to ames last night went very well. My angel slept the whole way there and the whole way back. Stupid me went off and forgot her formula on my mom's counter so when i got up there, i had to send sweet sweet molly out to target to get another thing of it. She's the best! Other than that big oops on my part- the night went well.

Thanksgiving is getting so close and then christmas will be here before you know it!!! YIPPEE. Im so excited this year- even though vaughn wont know whats going on- it will be fun and exciting for us!

But, since she's sleeping now, im going to try to get some things done around the house.

first road trip...

Today is a big day for us! It is vaughn-elise's first mini-road trip. I am a lia sophia consultant and we are going to ames to do a jewelry show for some friends. Its only about 45 min to an hour away, but the longest she's been in the car is like 20 min, so it will be interesting. I am trying to time her eating so she isnt hungry in the car, but with her cold, her eating is so sparatic and she is eating less amounts more often- so we may be making a pit stop on the way. Hopefully she'll sleep the whole way there. I am concerned to be taking her out with her cold but i think she will be okay. I havent done a lia sophia show in months so it will be good to get back in the swing of it. If anyone needs some fun Christmas shopping ideas, my mom is having a book party also, so let her know:) ( had to give a plug in there:))

i am tired today and have alot of things to get done before i leave this afternoon- so i should get a move on.

cuddly day

Today was a stay in your pjs and snuggle all day sort of day. It was great. Even though vaughnie was not feeling up to par, she was perfect little angel and just was even more snuggly than usual. It was great. We just slept snuggled up on the couch off and on all morning and even though i need to clean and make some phone calls, send some thank yous and rearrange the living room- i was c ontent doing nothing. The doctor said just to keep "sucking the snot out of her nose" and use a vaporizor and that should help. Her cough has calmed down some and she did great last night. She was up every two hours, but just ate and went back to bed... and when she was sleeping- it seemed to be a deeper sleep than normal-which was nice. WE just put her in the car seat to sleep so that she was at an incline and the drainage wouldnt choke or gag her. I hate that when im sick! My mom and i are headed over to my sisters for some girl time with oprah and then its just a chill night. No plans- just more snuggling. My kind of night!

Vaughn-elise is 4 weeks old today and that has been so hard, i ve been staring at her all day thinking of how fast its gone and that before i know it, we will be celebrating her 2nd birthday just like we did gabriela's and i just cant imagine that. I want her to stay tiny and snuggly and innocent forever!

Happy Birthday Gabs!

Today is sunday, also, gabriela's 2nd birthday. I just got home from her party and its always so fun to see her interacting with other kids. It makes me realize just how advanced she really is. Especially with her language. She looked so stinking cute too. I cant belive she is 2!! What a big girl. I cant believe how fast the time has gone and it makes me really cherish every second i have with baby vaughn elise. She will be 4 weeks old tomorrow and that breaks my heart. It trully does go so fast. I feel like i just had her and already a month has gone by. She has her first cold and its breaking my heart. I feel likesuch a bad mom....i shouldnt have let people hold her so soon. this is flu season and she is so tiny still. its just hard, do you sound rude and ask people not to touch her or do you let your baby get sick. It should be an obvious answer. i am the only voice she has and i didnt speak up...anyways- i just feel like a horrible mommy. the sweet thing she is, she is so good even when she feels like poop. Its just amazing how much i love her- ive never felt this way before and its amazing to me.... "love" doesnt seem suiting to how i feel for her- there must be a stronger word.

Is she not the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen?? She's so beautiful!

If you cant tell, she likes to sleep alot:)

This is a top view of vaughn in her new sling! We love it!

TGIF

Its friday and even though i dont work- thats a good thing. The weeks seem lonely alot and as i have mentioned, i get stir crazy in the apartment. im sure vaughn elise doesnt enjoy the same scenery alot either. Sometimes just getting out and going to gramma and papas or aunt mimis seems to relax and entertain her some. Baby vaughn had a great night last night and slept three hours at a time. I always, even with three hour stretches, feel like i have just fallen asleep when she is hungry again. But she is so good about eating and going right back to sleep. SHe's such an angel. Our dear friend Ann Cochran bought us the ultimate five way baby wrap and i tell you what! SUCH A BLESSING! Its a great tshirt material and so snuggly and comfy- unlike most of the stiff bulky wraps it really conforms and holds her and she is in love with it as much as i am. THis is the first time i have been able to go to the bathroom or update my blog or do the dishes without feeling guilty for setting her down or without doing everything one handed. I have a feeling this amazing wrap will get more than enough use:) THANKS ANN!!!

Again, thanksgiving is just around the corner, so is gabs birthday and my birthday and alot of my friends birthdays and my dads birthday- this is a big month, but its so exciting. I am trying to decide what to get gabs for her big 2nd birthday as well as recipe searching for something to bring for thanksgiving! I cant wait!!!

first time away!!!

Last night i stayed the night at my parents. I havent been feeling well and really needed a solid nights sleep to get to feeling better and get rid of the migraine. We all hung out and when it was time for bed, i went to bed and she went in the cradle next to grandma and grandpa's bed. They were able to get up with her in the middle of the night and while i woke up when i heard her crying- she was great and im sure she enjoyed spending cuddle time with grandma and grandpa and we all know i enjoyed a good nights sleep.

i had a doctors apt today to check up and make sure all was well. I didnt want to take baby vaughn since i knew it would be feeding time for her and just in case i needed xrays- i didnt know what i would do with her. SO, dear aunt mimi was gracious enough to watch my sweet angel for an hour while i ran to the doc.

We are home now and she is resting...i have phone calls to make and we are planning on staying in the rest of the night as it is getting bitter cold.

I agree with my sister in the excitement for the holidays. I cant believe thanksgiving is so close and it will be great to see both sides of the family. The butler side hasnt yet seen my sweet girl and im excited to show her off as well. Chrismtas will be a blast and im excited to get all decorated. I want to make holidays a big deal for vaughn-elise since they were a big deal for us growing up and some of my best and most vivid memories play around the holidays and the excitement that they brought us all. watching for rudolf on the way home from gma kinneys until we were like 16, listening for the ringing of bells that uncle brad and Uncle greg would ring while we searched the sky, driving in the dark looking for ET, the excitement of sneaking past the living room and not looking until everyone was awake...the traditional foods... i could go on and on. its just a great exciting time of year and i cant wait!!!

pain relief???

It is going to be a really long day! I have had a migraine headache for the past two days- its getting increasingly worse (im not sure if its due to lack of sleep, the snoozing of rudy's alarm clock or some other environmental reason...but its killing me.) Every bone in my body seems to be in intense pain- i dont know why, its been that way for a week now and not even codine is helping either issue. I dont know how im going to be able to handle taking care of baby vaughn if she's fussy today- my head feels like i am going to have an anurism or like someone is drilling into my left temple. I am o ut of migraine medicine and this sucks!!! BAD DAY!

Tuesday

I thought i would take a minute to update this while vaughn elise is taking a nap. I dont think she's feeling very well but had an excellent night last night. She is learning that she can suck on her fingers and i think it kind of weirds her out a little bit- it must feel funny to her, she will suck for a minute and make a weird face and then pull them out and look at me like "mom! whats that?". We had the most fun laying in bed this morning and she was making the funniest faces. She is so annimated. We have been staying inside all week and all weekend as its so cold outside and windy- but i am starting to go a little stir crazy. In a small apartment, there arent many places to go to get a change of scenery or any different activities to do. We might try to get to aunt mimi (amanda's) in the next few days for awhile so gabs and vaughn can mingle:) and amanda can get her aunt time in. Vaughn just loves them both. i love the cooler weather but wish it was a tad less bitter so it wouldnt be so hard to get her out. I know she could use some fresh air too. But for now, we'll stay in and snuggle and nap. I cant complain about that!!!

Happy 3 Week Birthday Baby Vaughn!!

tough monday!

Its only 12:00 and its already been a long day. We had good stretches of sleep last night as long as vaughn was in bed with me. She wasnt having the cradle last night. She must have just needed mama cuddle time:) Sometimes i think she is the princess and the pea. It seems like the smallest of things like a ruffle in the sheets or her sock on funny can make her so uncomfortable. But today, i cant seem to figure her out..she just doesnt seem happy no matter what i do. She acts tired but wont sleep, takes a bottle but i cant feed her constantly, i just wish i knew what could make her more comfortable. she loves being held and snuggled and while that makes cleaning, showering or going to the bathroom impossible- thats what we will do all day if it helps.

she is a big three week old today....its going so fast and making me sad!!!

my thug baby....

My Little Thug Baby!

The sweatsuit looked smaller on the hanger...:) Along with her wild hair- it was a photo must!

saturday = lazy day

After our sleepy day yesterday- I paid for it last night. We went to my parents to hang out with amanda, phillippe and gabi and vaughn elise missed the whole shabang. Matthew and Maria came over to watch a movie and about 10 oclock ms vaughnie thought it was a good idea to start her day. She slept off and on but was up for several hour stretches during the night. I try to love these times with her and make them special bonding and cuddling times but i have to admit, i am not someone who does well on lack of sleep. By the second long stretch of being awake with her i was stumbling down the hall like a drunken idiot, i was just so tired. Poor thing- i know she doesnt understand that "mama needs her sleep" or the whole difference between day and night but im not sure how to get her in a better routine. I know these days will pass and i am equally as sad about that as i am ready for a good nights sleep. So- i try to enjoy it while it lasts and try to take advantage of her daytime naps so i can get rest too. Its just harder than it seems it would be!

Zzzzz...

I havent been outside today, but inside its feeling like a very sleepy day! Little Vaughn cant seem to get woken up long enough to eat and all i want to do is nap with her. Unfortuantly, all i can do is look around at everything that needs done. (not that im doing any of it, but it bugs me enough that i cant sleep). I have errands i need to run but i decided it was a good "stay in your pjs and rest" sort of day. So thats exactly what we're doing.

HOORAY!!!

We had an AWESOME night last night. It was a little crazy at first. I had run to target to try to get some stuff to make rudy a birthday dinner and cake I always thought when i heard children screaming through a store- "oh poor parents, how embarassing.... but why cant they make them stop crying?" Well, I learned. Poor parents is right but last night i felt bad for her. She was ready to be out of her carseat so laid her down and changed her, gave her her bottle, we played etc but i think her stomach was just out of wack still. She spit up alot yesterday although overall was in much better shape than she has been. Frustrated and emotional and about to have a breakdown right smack in the middle of the cake isle at target, i called rudy at work and told him "forget it, i tried to do dinner, but forget it, we're going out to eat."
So, we left target, none to soon for her or I. I think she just needed some mommy time and a little more food and that cured her of the fussies. She slept through most of dinner but seemed ready to get home by the end...
Now for the amazing part- She fell asleep on the car ride home....as usual and so when we got home i decided just to leave her in it. I told rudy i was going to take advantage of her sleeping and go to bed early (we're talking 9 oclock here) and he agreed. He said he'd just "nap" and and then when she woke up he would bring her to the living room with him until she was ready for bed bed. Fair enough- only at 3 am I woke up frantic (but rested) that she hadnt woken up for a feeding yet. I know she loves her car seat but something had to be terribly wrong. So, i woke rudy up and asked him if we should wake her to feed her and change her (im terrified she'll get a diaper rash). He checked her over in her seat and said she's still breathing and seems happy- lets just leave her. Blissfully, i rolled over and went back to sleep. Little did i know that rudy was nervous enough that he stayed up til 5:30 keeping an eye on her and then insisted he wake her to feed her. " she has to be starving" So he fed her, changed her and played til 6:30 and then she at a little more at 9:30 and slept til 11:30!!!!!!!!!! Thats my girl!!!! Mama is feeling well rested today for the first day in months! Hallelujah! Is it the soy milk? or is God just on my side??Who knows but I LOVE IT!