28? What the crap!!!

Shut the front door?!?!? Twenty Eight? Impossible-no freaking way! I cannot believe I am going to be 28 tomorrow. For some reason- this year I seem OLLLLD. 2 more years in my twenties and then its bye bye youth- hello face lifts, "can't drink caffeine to close to bed or I'll never sleep", bladder control problems and menopause. No.Thanks. :)
I feel like 27 was a vapor...a smelly breathe breathed out by the crap of life....it was a mist I am thankful to be beyond...but a year that was, in my opinion, sucky. One I'd love to redo- with better results...but since I can't....its one foot out the door and a turn of the page for this girl.
28...Im gonna rock at being 28. I'm gonna reach the goals I set out to do, gonna rediscover who I am. I'm going to have no apologies for the person I am or the way I think and feel and I am going to own everyday of it, volunteer more, read more stories to my girl and pinterest daily!  Hey, 28 doesn't sound so bad! 

Happy Birthday to me!

PS, My sweet daughter is always thinking about everyone else. Tonight before bed she got a little emotional and said "but mama, daddy didnt take me to buy you anything for your birthday! what am I supposed tot  give you?" and I said "you can color me a beautiful picture!" and she said she does that everyday.....and then she said "let me think about it and I'll let you know tomorrow." So sweet. Love her.

Dear Vaughnie

Oh my love. You are four! How did you so quickly turn 4 years old? I remember holding you as a baby and wondering what your voice would sound like, what your first day of school would feel like, what your little personality would be like. I have never been so blessed. Never. You are my most precious. Every single day you say things and do things that melt my heart. Your sweet smile, your precious face. Your new hair cut-oh my. You look so grown up! Everytime I tell you I love you to the moon and back you tell me "I love you to the sun and back cause its farther away." or when your quietly playing and I say "i love you vaughnie girl" you say softly and quietly while you continue playing "I love you more mama." My cup runneth over. You are a gift. I thought I knew what life was about and daily you teach me, remind me, make me laugh until I cry, make me cry because I love you so incredibly much. This 4th year has been so very trying and difficult for us as a duo....but girl, you hold strong. You remind me that "we'll be just fine mama" or that "we're all we need" or that "its gonna be alllllright." and your right. We got it all right here with each other.  You are wise beyond your years. You still have your most trying times as every child and test me more than I think I can manage sometimes but you have quiet understanding that sometimes things are just not what you imagined and thats okay. We are bound for great things my love. We are about to move into our new home and I am so blessed that you manage changes so very well. You are my everything sweet girl. Your mama is so very very very proud of you. Happy birthday my love. Happy 4th year.

Love you so incredibly much, love your mama :)

Illinois & Happy 4th Baby

A couple of weeks ago we went to Illinios for the Color Drive. MUCH CHERISHED time on the farm {which happens to be my most favorite place in the entire universe} and a memory that we have been having since...well...since I can remember! We go every October, over Vaughn's birthday weekend and she thinks the entire festival is just for her. We let her think it. Its sweet. Fall festivals, garage sales galore, family coming out of the woodwork {we have a huge family-love every.single.one of them}We gather at my gmas and have hay rides, weenie roast, tractor rides, laughter....pure bliss. pure joy. This year, I was blessed by my ability to go for an entire week. It was perfection....except that we are missing my grandpa. Oh, my heart aches every time that we drive into the town and I know he will not be standing at the door saying "hey sis" and giving us big hugs. I miss his smell, his laugh, his hands, his stark white calves, I miss seeing him walking in from the field and just sitting back and enjoying his family. He was the glue. We miss him every.single.day. But he is sure talked about when we all get together, we bring him back by loving our memories of him together- as a family.

This year, gma had a garage sale during the "color drive". Oh the stuff that woman has. Oh the value she see's in it all!

Can't forget about the cows. Hours of entertainment for the kids. Thanks cows...for the babysitting.

Amanda said these are not photo worthy- I beg to differ- To all those who knew nothing of their existence. Here you have it, wheat buns! Who'da thunk it?

Uncle Phillippe taking the kids on a 4 wheel ride (much to fast, I might ad) ;)

Much like the Iowa State Fair, the one "must have" food at the color drive? a corndog. Sick, I know- but oh so tasty.

Andrea, my cousin who came all the way from Az to see us! She'd never experienced the soggy goodness of a walking taco. These were, well....not the best I've ever tasted.

FOUR! 4?!!!! F.O.U.R!?!?! How did my BABY girl turn 4 already!? We celebrated with a balloon decorated room, gifts, color driving and family time. We even baked a multitude of cupcakes!

Here she is. My sweet grandma. I know she'd kill me if she saw this picture. But this is her. My grandma. Exactly as I know her. Exactly as I love her.

on the Hay ride!