Beggers night...

WE got little vaughn all dressed up tonight in her halloween outfit for beggers ngiht and took her to my parents house. Gabriela was there as well all dressed up in her oh so adorable witch out fit. She was absolutely the cutest thing ever! Vaughn-elise slept through it all. LAst night wore her out and she slept all afternoon. Hopefully it doesnt ruin her night tonight! Daddy's birthday is tomorrow as well so we will probably dress up a second time!

The doctor said she had gained a pound and is now 10 lbs 6 oz. Thats my big growing girl! She's also grown an inch and a half length wise! What a good grower she is! They did switch her to soy milk and tonight is her first feeding of it. WE will see how this works on her tummy. Hopefully it helps her out some! Poor thing, it breaks my heart that she has a belly ache this little!!!

Happy Halloween Everyone!

2 week apt.

I j ust got vaughn elise down for a little nap before we go to her big two week apt. We're hoping she is above her birth weight- thats the big goal for the day. She had an incredibly rough night last night and between her crying and rudy's snoring- i think i maybe got in 45 min of sleep if i was lucky. She is having tummy problems and cant seem to sleep through the pain so she doesnt eat but i know she's hungry and when she does eat it causes such bad gas pains that i hate to feed her. (I do feed her though of course) Hopefully the doctor can give me some advice today. Poor thing. It breaks my heart when she cries and now that she has tears its even that much sadder. Its a long morning and hopefully the rest of the day will go better. I m meeting kendal a little later- we may grab a bite or just ocme back here depending on my angel's feeling.

I agree with amanda that today seems to be a heavy laden day and we are hoping for a fun night and a good halloween tomorrow.

baby vaughn elise

Its been so long since i have updated so i will start slow. i cant recap everything thats happened these past days but my baby girl is finally here and we are celebrating all the daily joys she brings to our lives. My mom took last week off of work and it was really nice to have some extra help. I spent most days at their house. It was great to be able to nap and know that vaughn was being taken care of.
She really is growing up so fast. She lost her little belly b utton on saturday and it broke my heart! To me, i guess it represented her newness. Not that she's old. Its just- that was what really connected me to her, and reminded me that for those nine months we were a team- she required that for me to nourish her. Rudy commented last night that she no longer looks like a newborn but now like an infant. It was so sad! I have been a little baby bluesie and cry at EVERYTHING. This is easing up some but its still unpredictable when the tears will fall. She is just so beautiful and perfect and such an amazingly sweet natured baby! She loves to rub your face when you hold her and snuggles all the time! She gives me a sense of peace when i look at her and i am scared i will someday forget every little noise and facial expression, every touch of her tiny little fingers, the way she changes. I want these things in my memory, in perfect memory, forever. SHe is changing so fast. Her cry is strengthening her grasp is tighter and her face is filling out so much. We trully love her to pieces.

Rudy's birthday is on halloween. I dont think we will be doing anything and i feel badly for that, but maybe we will celebrate both of our birthdays together since they are just a two weeks apart.

I am so excited to see my sweet neice on halloween. Aparently the secret costume is quite adorable! This will be the first year she will really get into dressing up and it should be great! I love this weather and am enjoying the fall tremendously. I cant be out in it much with her, but its nice when we do get out, even if we're just walking to the car. Christmas is just two months away and i havent started my christmas music yet....whats wrong with me? :) Its normally playing by september:) (Im a nerd like that)

Anyone else watching charlie brown's great pumpkin on tuesday at 7???? I cant wait!

EEEEKKKKK!!!!

Well, I cant believe it but you all were very very right. This last week has flown by and I will be having a little girl tomorrow!!! YIKES! Sounds soo weird! Rudy and I were both a little sad this morning that it would be the last morning of sleeping in and the last real morning of just the two of us (since tomorrow will be crazy nuts getting everything in the car and out the door.) I still dont know that it has hit me completely!! Maybe because everytime ive gone in expecting to have her, i have had to go home without a baby. The hospital called to confirm everything and i was half expecting them to say ....sorry, you have to wait another week.

We had a fall get together last night at my parents and even though the rain put a damper on the bonfire, it was so much fun and a nice thing for me since i wont be at the color drive- I at least got to roast a hot dog and marshmallows over the fire :) And it was quite the night for rudy since he had never roasted anything on a stick before. Next weekend we are going to carve pumpkins since it got late too fast last night and we ran out of time. He has never done this before either- so another adventure in towe for him then. :) It was good to see everyone and have a fun night . My sister and I got our last pictures of our pregnant bellies together and i got to enjoy mom's delish chili and cornbread:) What a night!

I have to say, i am getting a little sad about not being pregnant anymore. Never having known that i could even have kids- its been such a blessing to feel her move inside of me. Even though i am off balance and "clumsier than ever" It will be weird to not have her inside of me and to know that i am no longer pregnant. What a weird thing- to go in being pregnant and a few hours later- your not...its all very strange to me! I will enjoy being able to get up and down from the couch by myself and in and out of bed. etc. It will be nice to drive wtihout having my stomach get stearing wheel burns and be able to manuver without crutches or a wheelchair when we go out. AND the best part will be having our little Vaughn-elise with us! Bring it on 2 am feedings. Im ready!

Friday 10-11-07

This week has gone by faster than i had anticipated. Ive spent my time watching hocus pocus with my sister (a winner, if you ask me.) hanging out with kendal and enjoying the weather. I got some cookbooks from the library (not that i feel like cooking but looking for a little fall cooking inspirations) and spending time with rudy. Nothing too exciting, but the time has gone quite quickly. Ran lots of errands this morning and am not sitting at the library. I have a doctors appt. at 2:45 today to meet the guy doing my surgery. Unfortunatly it wont be the same doctor who has been "my doctor" since day 1... but they say this dude is good too. :) I hope so!

I am definetly having contractions today and man do they hurt!! They started out not so bad this morning and now they nearly take my breath away. Ill keep an eye on the clock and see...maybe baby vaughn wants to come today instead! wouldnt that be great....

Getting my hair done tomorrow morning (thanks mom! ) and will hope to get some good family time in at mom and dads tomorrow night...Other than that, im just enjoying the weather and working on chipping away at the "last minute tasks" that seem never ending. I guess everything is a last minute task if you wait long enough ... huh?

Two more days!!! YIPPEE!!!

another wait....

I think God is teaching me a lesson...or trying. Patience, apparently is something i lack. I think being such a dedicated planner, list maker, task doer-I get to thinking that my "plan" is written in stone only because it is written in the 3 planners that i carry with me.

We had another amnio test on tuesday and my little angel child is still not ready. I cant believe it! I was supposed to have her over a week ago. Her lungs- while slowly improving are still not even to the "borderline" point of being ready. Her poor doctors are as anxious as we are! It sometimes feels like i am going to be pregnant for the rest of my life. I enjoy it- dont get me wrong. But lately the pain has been unbareable and that is causing me to have a sour attitude. She is going to have her dad's personality i think...."if you tell me to hurry up, ill take even more time just to make you mad." Stubborn they are!!!

I, obviously wont be attending the color drive this year and selfishly- I am having a REALLY hard time with that. Its weird how much a break in tradition can get you down!! I think she would enjoy going and mom should just pick me up at the hospital and we'll head strait to Illinios. No one else thinks this is very smart:)

On the lighter side. Rudy and I got "baptised" (as mom called it) by Kool Aid at 5 o'clock this morning!! He has this thing about having to take a drink to bed with him. It reminds me of a 4 year old- but regardless its a habbit. So, last night he brought the worlds largest glass of Kool Aid.... bright red Kool Aid to bed and sat it on this ledge below our window so it would be close to reach. We also decided- it was such a gorgeous night- we'd sleep with the windows open and just keep the shades pulled to block out some of hte wind. Well it was windy alright! And apparently at 5 this morning the wind was so strong that it caught the bottom of the glass of Kool Aid and sent it flying into the air, right down on top of us both and our white down comforter. We both shot straight up and while rudy was laughing hysterically i was screaming about what an idiot he is. So, after the sheets were changed and a new comforter put on- We just laid in bed, laughing for about an hour. It must have been one of those "so tired its funny" things becuase we couldnt stop... when really, i was quite annoyed. What a great way to start the day... Covered in Kool Aid. NOT!

Sorry for not updating as much as i normally do on here- my computer is ill with a virus and the trusty phillippe is working on it. so, until i get to a library or my parents house, i have no way to keep in touch :(

Hopefully the week will go fast- im trying to stay busy as to not go insane. I am at the l ibrary now and will take home some cookbooks and maybe some magazines to entertain myself. Hoping to have a little fall get together and mom and dads on saturday for some "color drive pretending". Cant wait to meet my little girl on Monday!!! (and this is a DEFINETE date!!! HOORAY)

...another doctors visit.

I went to the doctors today in attempts to get some answers to this pain ive been having. The verdict? They seem to think- like most pregnant women- that my pelvic bone has tried to spread apart. Unfortunatly- with my hip not moving out like most womens, there is not much place for my pelvic bone to go either. With the baby trying to decend, it is causing the bones to rub against each other and his assumption is that it is probably quite inflamed. Nothing they can do. It was reassuring that it was nothing horrible though.

I have another amnio scheduled for tuesday am and then a possible csection for tuesday afternoon or wed morning (most likely wed.) To answer your questions- I really have no idea why they have to do an amnio the first part of the week but wouldnt the second part. Oh well, its a small sacrifice for what its bringing (or hopefully bringing.)

On a sad note, the movie theater lied and the previews and posters etc that they had advertising the special playing of poltergiest was all a sad lie. We went to get tickets and they said..."we're not playing that. they might be somewhere, but we're not." and thats all they would say. I even asked why they had posters everywhere saying they were playing it and they just blankly stared at me like i was crazy. Who knows. We were dissappointed though.

Oh oh, i also took my car (thanks to ann cochran) to the saturn dealership for their car seat installment workshop. It was kinda neat. You just pulled into the garage and they first showed you how to do it and gave you alot of safety tips (too many i thought) and installed your car seat. Then they took it out and made you install it and they inspected it and gave you pointers. It was neat and i think most people who have car seats should go get it checked. They are there the 1st thursday of every month from 5-7.

nothing else is new. A boring weekend a head- but hope to get some final things done that i didnt get done last week.

CHao.

I talked to the nurse today and she wants me to come in for a normal visit on monday. At that point, we will schedule the amnio for possibly tuesday and then the csection either tuesday afternoon or wednesday...Everything, again, will depend on her lungs. They said if i wait longer- like til t hursday or friday- there will probably not be a need for amnio- we could just go ahead with the csection. I dont know if i can last that long- the pain gets worse by the hour and im thinking of goign to the doctor tomrorow to see if i might have some kind of an infection or something. Its possibly due to my hip not moving out when her head is pushing down- but im tired of being up crying at night becasue i cant even scoot in bed or roll over or anything with out being in pretty intesnse pain...it doesnt feel normal or like pressure, its pain....anyone know what htis could be?? We'll see if I cant hold out til monday.

The cubs are in the play offs and its going to be a long week...tonight, tomorrow and saturday. I like a good baseball game as good as the next fan- but its far too intense to be around here while rudy is watching such important games. A theater here in town is playing a special showing of poltergeist (spelling???) tomorrow night, just for one night and i think, if im feeling up to it, kendal and i might try to go see that. I warned her i might have to take a donut or pillow to sit on- but ill try to go. I want this week to go as fast as possible and i suppose staying busy is the best way to make that happen.

Sigh- im tired and think ill go try to get comfortable... maybe ill try the recliner tonight.

just another wednesday....

After another sleepless night- i am up with the living. I think today will be spent laying around doing nothing much as everything seems to be very painful...My body isnt seeming to hold up quite as well as i had anticipated.
I have been playing phone tag with the ob's office all day yesterday and today trying to get scheduled for another weekly visit this week. I will keep you all updated as they are also trying to schedule another amnio and csection. At this point- they are trying to get me scheduled for a tuesday morning amnio and tuesday afternoon or wed am csection- im rooting for the tuedsay afternoon, but we'll see what the schedule holds.
I went to amanda's yesterday to see her little babies (all three of them:) and it was strange to hold a baby. I havent held one since gabriella was little and it was crazy. It felt nice but scary, i didnt think you could forget how to do those things but it all came back to me quickly.
I will write more later when i find details of all the schedules. I feel like this is the slowest moving week ever!!!

Dissapointment!

Well to say the least the news we recieved today from the doctors was very dissappointing. The amnio itself went well and was less painful than anticipated- although the after pain of the contractions etc seemed far worse than the actual procedure. During the ultrasound the doctors were saying that she is between 8.5-9.5 pounds and has no room left to manuver. In fact, they could hardly get enough amniotic fluid in one spot to get enough for the amnio. They were just sure she was ready- and so were we. We were giddy all morning and afternoon. During the amnio the doctor commented on how cloudy the fluid was and how good this was- meaning her lungs were letting out whatever it is they are supposed to. I went up to recover on the maternity floor and i think seeing where we would be made rudy really excited. He hasnt stopped smiling all day and has been really getting pumped. I waited and waited and what was supposed to take an hour to get results back took nearly 4. We went to the mall to look around, wanting to do something fun for a while before we were confined to a hospital all week. We really were just giddy and having so much fun together. I still hadnt heard when we were heading home so i called the doctor and they told me that her lungs were showing negetive maturity and they would let me know when they got the final results back. SO, my doctor called me an hour later and said how dissappointed she was and how she was so compltely shocked- She was convinced that she would be ready- after all- she is measuring over 40 weeks. She said her lung maturity was at 26 and was supposed to be 55 in order to deliver (dont ask w hat these numbers mean, i dont know.) Anywyas, i have been wallowing in seflf pitty all evening and cant imagine waiting another week to see her when ive been so excited. SO, i cried alot, took a nap, ate some dinner and then God- in his smooth ways- sent me down a little message. I turned on the tv to TLC and the first show was about a lady who had 6 babies (if she can carry six babies, i can suffer one more week with just one huge baby) and the next show was about conjoined twins who almost died and had to be cut apart. (again, i am feeling incredibly lucky to have a big baby in there who just needs a little longer to develope.) My parents also reminded me that we thought she was going to be a preemie less than 5 pounds- so a big baby, as long as she is healthy is okay by us.

So, the update is that we are going to try to get another amnio next tuesday to give her some time and then if she is ready- we will have her next wednesday. If not, I will have to wait until i am full term.
While i am dissappointed, it will be fine and my selfishness is minor compared to other things that could be wrong or happening. I will keep you all updated when we know an official date. i am sure she will be worth waiting for. Im just so anxious.

So rudy is going back to work tomorrow- dissappointed, and i am going to take it easy and get some more stuff done. Please continue to pray for her and for her developement and that by next week she'll be ready (or momma really will go nuts!)

Its not my time that matters....i just have to keep reminding myself of that...from here on out... my time and whne i want things to happen means absolutely nothing!

EEEEKKKKK!!

Alright everyone, the countdown is on! 24 hours! I have been up all night long- not sleeping more than ten minute intervals-excitement, nerves.... I havent been this sleepless since i was a kid and it was the night before christmas. (ok, i lie, every year before christmas:) I keep waking up and checking the clock, did i go to bed too early, too late? my pillow is too hot, too cold, i have an itch on my feet that i cant reach, back needs scratched, restless legs, growly stomach, im thirsty, the wind is too loud, the room is too silent, my legs are asleep, was that a bug or my hair? I think im going absoultely crazy. ITs one of those nights i have spent whispering to God to just throw down a 2x4 and knock me out for a few hours....or at least some niquil.

We have to be up in an hour to get to the hospital for the amnio. Im admittedly freaked out and nervous about it. Praying her lungs are ready and that the test itself doesnt hurt too bad.
My loving sister came over last night, bless her, and helped me pack my hospital bag- at least vaughn-elise's part and helped me remember that its silly to take my blow dryer and straightener- that ill never use it. (but im taking it anyways- just in case...) Without her input my poor little girly would have been freezing cold with no socks or hat, no bink, etc. I am hoping it all will seem more natural when she's actually here- right now it sorta feels like rollplay. Strange to think im really about to be a mom!!!

I think rudy is equally if not more terrified than i am right now. He seems to be asking alot of questions but not responsive to the answers:) What time do we have to be there? Did you set the alarm? double check the alarm. Do we need to take anything? What are we supposed to do? dO you know where to go? Then what? Then what?

i have been keeping in contact with a friend who is in Alaska, also pregnant and living in the bush, a two hour plane ride from any hosptial, in a town cosisting of 16 female and 12 men. she has had an incredibly challenging pregnancy with alot of scares and i am so blessed to have the best of the best in thier field as my doctors. I really do feel a hundred percent safe with them and cant imagine how her fears must rule her days for the most part- she is so strong and never seems to worry as much as i feel i would!

Babies are such little miracles and i am SO excited to get to meet mine! I have been very sad lately as well though- wishing my grandpa was here to meet her. I always loved watching him and his enthusiasm with the little babies of the family- it breaks my heart that i will never get to see that interaction with my little girl. We miss you every minute grandpa!

1 day left!!! Yikes!!