60 ways to bullet proof your marriage

I was reading on facebook today, the below list of ways to make your marriage rock. Seems an obvious list but a good reminder regardless. Take a few, at on them and fall madly in love all over again. Trust me, its a rockin feeling.

1. PRAY TOGETHER ALWAYS
2. READ THE SCRIPTURES TOGETHER ALWAYS
3. Go on regular date nights
... 4. Hide notes in secret places
5. Go to bed at the same time
6. Listen to music together-share ear-buds
7. Buy him gifts he will love
8. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
9. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
10. Praise your spouse to other people
11. Read a marriage devotional
12. Sleep in his t-shirts
13. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
14. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
15. Go away together at least once a year


For Women Only
16. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
17. Make his favorite dessert
18. Make sex a priority
19. Spend time apart occasionally
20. Learn to enjoy something he loves
21. Surprise each other
22. Meet him at the door
23. Text each other from across the room
24. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
25. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him

For Men Only
26. Leave work on time and come home early
27. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
28. Compliment each other
29. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
30. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
31. Kiss every day
32. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
33. Forgive quickly
34. Be honest.
35. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
36. Look your best as often as you can
37. Guard your marriage
38. Laugh together
39. When you are together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
40. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it

Both
41. Make each other breakfast in bed
42. Do her chores for her
44. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
44. Dance together-soft music (both of you alone) or rocking music with the kids
45. Exercise together- hikes, bike riding, etc
46. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment from your spouse
47. Thank your spouse often even for the least reason or gesture
48. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
49. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
50. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
51. Support each other’s goals
52. Bring her flowers/gifts (even when she says they are too expensive)
53. Wear something your spouse loves
54. Share furniture-sit in his lap
55. Fight for your marriage
56. Make a point to eat dinner together most days of the week.
57. Never let your spouse feel like they come second place to your career or any other thing.
58. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Be supportive of each other and dream big together!
59. Maintain a united front as your motto: Meaning- “Me and you against the world.
60. Speak well of your spouse.

Sometimes, Like today....

I feel like I am in a constant work/mommy mindset that I forget that I want to be pretty and feel beautiful. I know all women struggle with this on ocassion. Visualize: waking up far earlier than my body would prefer (not a morning person in the slightest.) staggering to the coffee pot while throwing my hair into a high knot, throwing some breakfast down for Vaughn and heading into my home office, in my pajamas, working my 9-5 and editing on my 15 minute breaks to keep up with the photo business, fixing a lunch thats nothing gourmet and entertaining V over my lunch hour. On occassion I run frantic errands over lunch to try to make it back before my hour is up and then as I run in the house, stumbling over the living room mess, thinking of the 7000 loads of laundry and the dishes piling up and sit at the desk for another 5 hours. I clock out just in time to make dinner, pick up what I can pick up while dinner is cooking, run a load of laundry that will sit in the dryer and get wrinkly for the next two days before I realize I havent taken it out. Evenings are full of photo editing, errands, bath time, etc etc etc. At 10 pm I look at myself in the mirror, hair still in a high knot,  no make up, hot pink exercise shorts and a big baggy sweater and I.hate.what.I.see.

I vaguely remember a time when I got up early enough to do my hair, make up and even (gasp) shower. When breakfast was hot and homemade and I had heals and a cute outfit on and didnt leave the house looking like a complete wreck.  When anyone could stop by (especially the boyfriend) at any given point (swoon) and I'd feel beautiful and prepared and lovely. now, when he calls and says "surprise-Im coming to see you. miss you. be there in ten minutes" I literally go  into frantic mode, throwing all messes into a rubbermaid container to deal with later, vaccuum quickly, jump in the shower, fastest blow dry of my life and throw on some mascara, still to look a hot frantic mess when he knocks at the door.

How. On. Earth.Did. I. Get. Here.

Now when I look at my closet I see clothes that are too small, too  big, frumpy, dont fit my lifestyle, dont fit my style (style? whats that?). I see a woman who has lost herself in the midst of life and who I desperately miss.

Ugh. One step at a time. Out with the old, in with the new. Garage sale season is here. Anything and everything I dont love is hitting the tables.

Starting fresh.