Christmas and NY!

I havent been keeping up with my blogging lately. Christmas was great. So much fun this year. We have discovered that Santa may not be a tradition we get to take part in but will see how next year goes. Vaughn is petrified of the idea of someone coming into our house. It started with her being okay if santa left the presents outside...then she didnt even like that idea. I told her we would hve MRs Clause come and she was fine with that until Christmas Eve night and then clung to me at bedtime crying and saying "dat creepy mama, nobody come in my house. Santa creepy mama, i dont yike mrs clause. No!" SO I said, forget it. Its not worth it and we told her the presents were from us. Actually in the morning we tried to pretend they were from santa and she wouldnt go near them, so thats when i told her to forget it, mommy and daddy got you this. poor girl.

We had some great time with family, ate way too much food and got to think about 2009 years ago when that tiny babe was born. I wonder if Mary knew or trully believed that Jesus was the son of God. I know I Wouldnt believe it if someone told me that I was carrying God's child....not that God would ever choose me...but you get what I am saying:) I dont know, but I sure am thankful he came!


After another short week at work, its hard to beleive we are at another NYE. Turning into 2010 and leaving yet another year behind. This year was so many changes for us, regaining my independence and moving out, my new job, new car, buying a house, engagement, new babysitter for Vaughn....lots of changes. it has been a great year with many adventures (flooded kitchen, mice infestation, trees falling inches from the house, vaughn locking herself in the house, house hunting and eventually purchasing.) Whew. Its insane to think of what 2010 will bring.

I am thankful that I am not one of those people who feel the need to party hard on NYE anymore. i am more than content to be home with my baby girl, snuggled up, watching Mickey Mouse and building princess block castles. Not only is it too dangerous and rediculously cold, i would rather set goals for myself, reminisce, look back on photos of the year and take the time to just enjoy an extra day off work with Vaughn. Rudy has decided to go back home for the weekend so V and I are alone. i was planning on going to the QC with him and then tomorrow mornign we were going to drive to my grandma's in Illinios, but rudy decided he just wanted to stay in the QC this weekend and so, V and I are now staying home. Stinks big time. I miss my grandma and alot and dont want to have to make the drive alone with her in the cold all that way. Major Bummer.

I hope you all have a blessed, fabulous, styling, smilerific, year full of joy and excitement. Bring it on 2010!!!!

pictures

The Polar Express....

Vaughn-elise recieving her very special bell from santa. It was SOO Crowded so I did not get very good pictures.:(

reading the book...

we all arrived in our pjs and Vaughn got her ticket punched just like in the movie....soo cool.

making Christmas cookies:)

oops. baking with a toddler can get messy.

as you can see she ate most of the dough.

yes, my daughter is doing the pogo stick on a toilet plunger....(a new one dont worry)

My friend Rebekka who did the Jolly Holiday Lights walk with me.

V and I after the walk.

I havent posted lately-I have just been too busy. The holidays are here in full force! I love it! We went to visit rudy's family last weekend for Christmas. I still have not unpacked from that trip and am hoping to get a serious "holiday cleaning" done tomorrow night. Work has been insane. cookie exchanges, secret santas, christmas games, tomorrow is the company wide food day, holiday lunches out with our bosses, white elephants....its been crazy- fun, but busy. I am ALMOST done wrapping....I have now officially puti n 8.5 hours of wrapping this year and have only a few left to wrap. I tell you- I could go nuts with paper, bows, ribbons, package decorations- I have to tame myself. One gift in particular I have wrapped and unwrapped 4 times because I just cant get the paper to look right. My dad always taught us....half of the present is how it looks.

Vaughn is SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS. There is an inflatable santa at the neighbors and in the wind it looks like its waving to her. She tells it good night and when we get out of the car she YELLS "I love you SANTA....I am being good....you watch!" and she waves good night to it. Its a sure way to keep her behaving. :) I am so excited for her this year. She just loves everything so much she will be such a fun girl to watch open gifts. I cannot get enough of her. Her hugs and kisses, her yelling "love you more mama!" her songs, stories and giggles. It brings me to tears. She is my favorite gift I have ever gotten. She's my bestest.

I dont have many pictures becuase i am plum too tired to upload them. I should post photos of our new home, our projects, my girl, our tree...but i have to wait...at least until tomorrow when i have more energy:)

I wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and a wonderful BLESSED, meaningful new year.

uncomfortable

Lately I have been struggling alot with the fact that we are comfortable. We dont have alot of money to spare, but the bills get paid and there is an entire closet stuffed full of holiday gifts....our fridge is not full, but we have food to eat at every meal, I dont have a brand new car but my car has luxury features and runs great and still...i find reason to complain. I desperately wish I was at a point in my life where I could leave it all and go help others, I find myself, as i have mentioned before just stuck, feeling like i am living in a world where nobody really "gets it" or wants to help others or give up what they have to help someone else. I complain that my house is 70 degrees and I am cold at night and i forget that there are hundreds of thousands if not millions who are homeless, in the freezing (literally) cold weather and have not eaten today, would give anything for a warm blanket or a hot cup of tea. and I complain. Really? I just dont know whats wrong with me. I dont know why I cant shut my mouth sometimes. I am thankful beyond measure for the things i have, the loved ones i have. I was reading somewhere that said that someone in your neighborhood, or town, will try to take their life this season because they are lonely and sad. that breaks my heart. But what can I do? I guess thats where i struggle, what can measly old me DO? how can we heal the hearts of the broken?? As I have been struggling with this while sitting in my cubicle day in day out feeling like i have chosen a job where I am confined to a cube and unable to reach out to those i think about throughout the day. i came home tonight and checked in on a blog I have not read in a few weeks. I have posted links to her blog before but this one really got me. Tore my heart out and served it to me on a platter sort of got to me. PLEASE read it. Its important. Its worth your time. Its what i was feeling and unable to describe. Read Katie's Blog here . I wonder often, had I not been so wrapped up in my own life in college, having a child and living the life I WANTED, would I have ever had the guts to run off and devote my life to helping others? I would like to say yes, thats exactly where I would be. But i guess I dont know. Either way, I am desturbed that I feel as though i dont know how to help.

I decided to give up food day at work for my birhtday and instead have my department bring items that could be used to help a family. We started with one family, one basket and within 2 days, we had enough food to feed 3 families.....and not just for thanksgiving, but for a week....families of 6 for a week. I was SHOCKED. I think people want to help- they just dont know how and when given the venue, they jump. One of the families called in the other day and let us know how blessed she felt to recieve that and how it changed their holiday and they could celebrate (when origionally they thought they couldnt. ) and they had food and didnt have to worry and they even invited some friends over. It made my day! I was so glad we decided to do that.

I have no problems with exchanging gifts on Christmas. Its fun. Its tradition. What I DO Have a problem with is that I cannot stop thinking of all the thousands of kids who will wake up christmas morning and expecting Santa to have come and find here is not one present for them. Whatever reason, parents too poor, parents not around, no one cares, etc....and i cant sleep at night becuase of that. I want to so badly show those children that they are loved and i want to make their holidays special. how do you reach those children? How do you know who those children are? it eats at me. Not just about Christmas but that there are kids who are cold, or who's parents dont come home at night, or are drunk or just in general, dont know what it feels like to be cherished.

I could go on for days, but its just something i am struggling with. I wish I could adopt all of those children, elderly, unloved persons out there and just shwoer them with love. Mine and Gods.
breaks my heart.