because sometimes i need to remind myself

I believe in Karma-
I believe that people criticize the most about others what they hate in themselves....
I believe happiness starts with forgiving and moving on...
I believe that struggling for financial freedom is unfair...
I believe entertainers income is insulting to those of us who work day in and day out to try to make ends meet....
I believe that people change so we can let go...
I believe we suffer so others can learn compassion...
I believe we do not do enough to help others, ever...
I believe in animal rights and that it is our job to protect them against cruel circumstances...
I believe that indifference is worse than anger or hate...
I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and that he was crucified so we could some day share the house of God.
I believe that the death penalty is an easy way out...
I believe that abortion is murder...
I believe that we have to choose to be happy...
I believe the problems with todays youth reflect the problems with todays parents...
I believe we too often place our happiness in the opinions of others...
I believe that its naive to believe that there is no other form of life, of any kind, anywhere else but here...
I believe we have a corrupt government who hides alot from us and often treat us like lab rats...
I believe that hugs can change a day...


This was something that was passed to be in an email...more of a challenge i guess to see if we could write ten things we believe in.... i think i hit more than ten but I will challenge you the same way....what do you believe in???

HOORAY

I wont lie...this was trully the longest day of my life. I have sat in doctors waiting rooms, bored out of my mind and the time went faster than it did today. I was done with my work for the month on wednesday and had finished every minor thing i could imagine on thursday so today i literally-no exageration- stared at my cubical wall. id walk around, check email, stare some more, look at the clock, check my email, stare some more ...this happened for 8 freakin hours!

I will go crazy if they dont find me more work. End of story. BUT...ITS A LONG WEEKEND. I couldnt possibly need a long weekend more than i do this weekend. I am so excited to just...do nothing. Tomorrow, i will hit up garage sales. Looks on craigslist like there's an oodle of them wtih lots of baby stuff for Vaughn's age. (Im obsessed with craigslist.) Then, my parents are having a dinner party saturday and sunday. So, ill proabably try to stay out of the way- who knows what i ll do to get out of their hair, maybe the park with vaughn, maybe rent a movie, not sure.



maria had some left over hair extensions and since my hair refuses to grow- she is going to glue them in tomorrow evening. THey wont last long she said but it might be fun for a week to have my hair longer. Then who knows- maybe I will cut it when those are out. I always say i want to grow it out but the truth is...there hasnt been one day(honestly) all summer that it hasnt ended up pulled back by midway through the day. My hair is stubborn, too straight to look cute when i leave it curly, too curly to look pulled together unless i put stuff in it and air dry it. its not the type of hair, at this length, that looks good with just wash and wear. i..like everyone...like to do my hair on occassion and get dolled up and look pretty. I used to do this daily. But the truth is that its impractical for me at this point. I cannot even brush my teeth without having to chase VE around or make sure she isnt putting something into her mouth. I need somethign that is wash and go...and can be styled and look cute when i have the time, or air dry and look cute when i dont have the time. I am forever frustrated with my hair- i just get bored easily. I dont like the color- but some days i do, i dont like the length but somedays i do....its frustrating!


I think i am just frustrated with myself...my eating has strayed from the typical. Not that I was ever a health nut but I have always at least been consious and if i do bad at one meal i try to make up for it the next. I try to eat more fruits and veggies than anythign else, i try to void the carbs and sugars...but lately- ive said screw it. I hate that. I dont know why my instinct with that is gone. I just eat what i want, when i want. I havent been eating breakfast and if i do its coffee and a muffin or donut or cheese from the convienent store, i usually eat a very unhealthy lunch, get a snack midafternoon and then dont eat healthy at dinner...if i even eat dinner. I am usually not hungry so if my parents arent home and havent made dinner- i simply dont eat...then wake up starving and craving sugar because my blood sugar is so low. I KNOW BETTER THAN THAT. I need to get back on track, removitaved, mentally refocused. GRRR. I also usually drink between 100-120 ounces of water a day and really never drink pop. If i do, its just a few drinks and in the trash it goes. Lately, ive been craving pop and havent been drinking even 68 ounces of water a day-and i love water! GRRRR....that annoys me about myself.

Vaughn-elise had a cranky day and went to bed early. She's highly emotional and one minute is laughing, the other is crying and wants to be held. Poor thing. I feel bad when she gets that way because she cannot tell me how she feels. She is generally such a content happy go lucky baby that when she has off days you just feel bad for her because she doesnt know how to say "today was a bad day!" I am excited to spend the next three days with her, loving on her, and playing. YAY for holiday weekends.

Is it fall???? in August???

thats right. I woke up this morning and it was 58 degrees outside. While I love it... I also thing...you have got to be kidding me?!! Usually this time of year it is so hot and humid you want to throw up....not this year. I was wanting to go back inside and put long pants and socks on!!! it was gorgeojus and I am NOT complaining. Thats my favorite weather of all times! By the time i came home it was 79...still nice. i did notice though, on my way home from work- that some of the leaves had falled off the tree and were sort of yellow! I think global warming is a crock of poo and its more like global cooling. After our long freezing winter- i think this earth is gettiing colder by the second. If it can turn to fall and stay that way all year- id be super happy! I have even been putting vaughn-elise in her long pjs at night because we sleep with the windows open and its been mighty chilly.

A funny observation- i have the TV on right now and Vaughn is not in the slightest interested. here I sit...watching Veggie tales and she could care less:) i am glad for that- and i never watch tv anyways, so i am glad it can be on and she can go about her mischevious self and not care one bit.

She is getting too funny with her new foods too. Tonight she had some new veggie flavored baby crackers- she thought she was something else. I also gave her these baby organic bluberry mini waffles with some (tiny bit) of jam...she kept squinting her eyes and saying "mmmmm!" i am glad she's not a picky eater. She just loves to eat!

She is still running. Its the funniest thing you'll see. i am getting my video camera back from the girl i work with on friday and will tape her then. Today its been a "Oh shoot im gonna fall....better go faster to stay up....head a foot in front of the rest of her" sort of run...but its too funny and she thinks she's hot stuff while she's doing it. Her crash's though, are on another level when she's moving at that speed! She more belly flops than anything.

Lets hope ther est of the week is as amazing weather as today. Bring it on FaLl FaIry! we are ready!!!

My leapard baby

I borrowed moms camera to take some pics of my sleeping animal child.... isnt she precious?

I love this one. These are the precious sweet moments I live for.

SLOW DOWN!

Vaughn-elise is running. Yes, thats it...running. I said it. Not just her little tottle that she's been doing all over the place. Tonight, in my room- she ran. from one side of the room to the other. Then she fell down, laughed and did it again. It was the funniest thing i have ever seen. I wish i had none lent my video camera to a friend and I would have taped it. I have to get it back. Tomorrow. This is too stinking hillariuos. She's only 10 months old!! Who runs at 10 months??!!! haha. She's in her little leapord print pjs too which looked even funnier. Like a wild animal running around the room. She's starting to get into games. its so much fun....she loves to be chased and tickled and joked around with. Today when I went to pick her up, Deena told noah to do what he was doing earlier and vaughn started full out belly laughing. He was making a silly noise with his mouth and she couldnt stop laughing. It was so funny- its rare that she does that, and it makes my day!!!

Great Quote from Juno:
" in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your butt. that's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."


i think this songs sums it up....

In My Daughters Eyes by Martina McBride.

In my daughter's eyes
I am a heroI am strong and wise
and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes


In my daughter's eyes
everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes


And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the
reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made meFor I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Weekend recap

This weekend was grand. Saturday was gourmet night and this week was Luau theme ( i got to pick the theme..yay) It was fun. I searched and searched for an authentic desert recipe, but i just dont think they eat desert in Hawaii. Who knew? So i made coconut cupcakes with Guava frosting. I thought they were delish and tropical- ask amanda what she thought??:) She wasnt such a fan! We played two games that i stunk at but had a blast playing. I have to say, musical beach towels taught me how OUT of shape i really am. I was thankful when dad beat me to the towel cause i was so out of breath it was rediculous! Vaughn had fun being outside. I have regretted not spending more time outside with her this summer and we spent lots of great time in the goold ole outdoors this weekend. i think she must have been worn out from the festivities saturdya night because she slept until 10 AM ON sunday!!! Can you believe it? We were almost late for church. I met rudy in DSM for lunch on sunday and on the way home she fell asleep and slept til 4:30. That girl must have been beat!!! i hate napping but i unfortunatly fell asleep with her. that is very rare for me. I must have needed it to. Though it ruined my day. I felt like i slept the whole weekend away We had the church softball game and potluck on sunday night and the weather was GORGEOUS!!! It was nice for VE to be able to sit down on the ground and play and walk around. She loved it, though she wasnt as sure of the grass as andre was! She is really growing so fast, almost running now! Its amazing. i cannot believe she is almost 11 months old. It breaks my heart and overjoys me at the same time. She tries so hard to repeat words and she's so stinking cute while doing it. Uh-Oh is the big word now. Its her fav.

i am so ready for fall...can i say that enough? I have been absolutely loving this cooler weather! YAY for the 70's.

i am tired and am looking around my room and see a giant mess that needs conquered. It was my goal for the night but i think ill pass and go to bed early- physical therapy early in the am:(

I still have a headache. rudy came over, thought we were going to watch a movie and i was so irritated by him that all i could do was argue with him. I hate getting like that. its no fun and it makes me mad that i even had him come over- he was expecting to just hang out and i had to start that. I am starting to feel like things will never be okay with him and i. Somedays we talk and are fine and civil, others i am so annoyed by his lack of maturity that i could scream. I just want him to grow up...is that really too much to ask? I probably shouldnt be writing this- but hey, its what is consuming me so i am going to. He is still so selfish...i thought a child would fix that- i was very wrong. He adores vaughn-elise, i know this, but even when it comes to ehr he is sitll selfish- he is still first on his own list of priorities. I hate that. Mostly, i hate that for vaughn's sake. I want him to see her as the most important, someone he would do anythign for. instead he complains that he has to drive an extra five miles to get her on the days i have PT, in my opinion he should be thanking me for letting him have her an extra hour. But no. I just cant stand it. I am tired of just being civil with someone. I am tired of paying attention to someone who views me only as an "option...maybe possibly down the line if nothing else works out." that makes me sick that i have lost myself enough in this to have ever taken part in that sort of a relationship. I dont know what to do anymore. Again i will say i only want what is best for vaughn. right now, planning the future is too difficult to fathom and day by day is overwhelming enough.

Its a saturday that could hold lots or nothing in its forcast. I have to drop off something i sold on craigslist to a lady in waukee this afternoon and we may just hit up the waukee or dallas center fall festival while we're out. Mrs. Vaughn-elise is busy snoozing at the time and when she wakes i am sure there will be fun to be had:)

i woke with a migraine this mornig so Im hoping i can kick that here in the next few hours before luau night starts...mmm...i love food.

a slight rant...here goes

First a confession...I have always claimed to " be just who I am, no one can change that..doesnt matter who i am around- i just am who I am." thats a lie. negetive people affect me in the worst kind of way. Dont they effect everyone that way? It drives me crazy. If you are one of those people who can never say a nice thing and will be offended by this rant- then stop reading. But if your one of those people and would like a blunt wake up call back to reality then please continue.

I have found myself in the presence of negetivity lately. I havent been able to figure out why i am letting it bother me- but it just does. I think negetivity is selfish. I am sure those who complain and nag about everything are probably hurting inside, depressed, mad at the world, tired of life being hard...but you know what? GET OVER IT. We all live in this same world full of bad things, dissappointment, hurt, annoyance, long work days, unapprecitive people and we all have to carry on with our lives and get over it all enough to be nice and positive and a person others want to be around. Is this hard somedays? Absolutely. But its necessary. I am not in any way saying people shouldnt be allowed to have bad, cranky days. Lord knows I can slam a door like its no ones buisness. But when people leave the room when they see you coming because they dont want to hear you complain- that should say something. Do these people even know that they are like that? Are they so wrapped up in why their life sucks that they cannot see how its negetively affecting others. I hate who i am in the presence of these people. I can feel my chest closing and my anxiety level sores. Which is why i try my best to avoid these situations. Its wearing on who i am as a person..my positive outlook is drained, my emotions are raw and it makes you want to just say..." Now tell me why your life is worse than mine? Honestly? What makes your life THAT horrible?" Doesnt it seem like the people who are negetive are the ones with a ton to be happy about? irritates me to no end. Its taking all i have to just shut up and walk away when these people come into my life. I really cannot take it. It ruins my day- thats pretty sad. And they wonder why WE are always in bad moods? GRRRRR....

okay my rant is over. If you read this and got mad- you should probably re-evaluate. If you understood me, then AMEN.

Barf. Puke. Ouch. Thats how I feel today. I had a physical therapy apt this morning a i think it may have possibly been the worst pain of my life. I was in tears, shaking, my feet went numb from the pain and i got light headed. Anyone who knows me knows that my pain tollerance is pretty high. So that means it was bad!

I left and went to work-thankful to be out of there, and then it went downhill... I started getting nauseaus, light headed, achy, stiff, crampy. Everytime I opened my mouth or took a breath i felt like i was gonna blow. I didnt feel safe talking to pts on the phone for fear id have to hang up and run to the bathroom, so I went home at noon. Unfortunatly, im not a napper. Somedays on the weekends I can lay down and fall asleep...or if its stormy i can nap. Otherwise, no luck for me. So I just layed around, got online, was bored out of my mind. Even though I felt like crap I couldnt let myself relax enough to recoup. I went and picked up vaughn early and it was nice to get some added play time in with her. She always cheers me up.

We went to Shugars supervalue to get stuff for grilled cheese and tomato soup and some lady in the isle said loudly and out of the blue "Oh my gosh, her feet are HUGE!" and she came over and kept talking about how "gigantic" vaughns feet are. Poor girl. I felt horrible for her and she didnt know any better but to sit there and smile. I just said. "No, they are perfect size." and i walked off and she just kept mumbling about how huge her feet are. THEY ARENT though- she is still in size 3 shoe. Thats not big at all! Jerk.

Why do random people feel they can comment on your child? Its the most irritating thing to me. I would never walk up to her and say "OH my gosh- you have a HUGE butt!!! I cant believe how huge it is!" But sometimes i feel like i should- just so they can see how rude it sounds.

one time some other lady was walking by and said " hey little combover baby." and I wanted to say "hey, nasty frizzy bad haircut lady, leave my child alone!" Instead I just looked at Vaughn-elise and said "You have the prettiest hair of any little girl I know!"

GRRRR i cannot stand people sometimes.... It seems like after the age of 50 women who are in a public place feel they have every right to say anything to anyone. Irritates me to no end. (NO offense to those of you over 50 who are reading this- that was just a general statement.)

Happy Happy Hump Day!

Its wednesday- sigh. Two more days until the weekend! Its been strange couple of days around here. Vaughn-e has been sick with congestion and awfully emotional. She has slept great the past couple of nights but the first night was ROUGH. Poor girl. She has always strugged with her sinuses. I would bet she has had at least one cold every month that she has been alive. Poor thing. thats the worst too and I feel horrible for her becasue she doesnt yet know how to snif, or blow...she just gags at this point.

We went in to DSM tonight to get her pink and purple castle toybox/bookshelf. its just perfect. My stinking camera is broken and (trying to save for a new one) so I cannot take pictures. Which totally stinnks in all aspects but now i cannot post pictures of this on here. Its super cute. We just got a bunch of books (which i am realizing she has WAY fewer of than I thought). Instead of putting toys in the toybox part, i am putting her winter blankets. the lid would be too hard for her to get at this point so i moved her blankets in there and put some of her toys in the bottom drawer where her blankets were. She can pull this drawer out and does all the time anyways so why not put something fun in there. I am still not sure I like where I have it put but for now it will do.


I have really been wanting to do something for some extra income. I would love to make and sell natural products, candles, body lotions, scrubs etc. Anyone have any other ideas?

I heard its supposed to be coolish tomorrow....76?? That would be GREAT. And a little rain while its at it would be nice. i miss those stormy days we had. i love storms. Hurry FALL!!

dsfads

This weekend went to fast! On Sunday I got to spend some quality one on one time with ms. gabi. It was a blast. While Vaughna slept, Gabi and i made magical grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, and fantastic pink princess shakes (pink milk) and girly pink pudding. We had a picnic and it was a blast. We turned on choo choo soul music and boogied our hearts out. Then, we painted picture frames. She is quite the little artist. It was some much needed time. I missed that girl and it was nice to realize that someday i wont have to watch every move vaughn-elise makes...i forogt that they grow out of the "lets put EVERYTHING in my mouth stage." She's a goofy girl and i adore her. Vaughn and her got some great play time too...they both can shake thier booties thats for sure! They just adore each other. Thanks for letting me play with her aunt mimi!

Long day to day, i had a headache all day :( Yuck. That sure makes for a long day. i picked up vaughn and she's all stuffy nosed, not feeling well, and highly emotional. I told her "please dont pinch mommy!" and you'd have thought i ended the world. She is so sensitive anyways but she must have not liked the look on my face...poor thing. We soothed the emotions with some watermellon and went to bed early. Thats my kind of emotional healing:) She has already woken twice due to a stuffy nose. I amhoping the sudafed works through the night! But in case it doesnt, i should get to bed!!

I love Saturdays

today was successful. We had a group play date with friends and thier babies (we have tried to do this monthly since March). It is GREAT to allow vaughn to hang out and play with other kids and for myself to get some much needed friend time in. Vaughn-elise is the only mobile one there so she was going all over the place. I left exhuasted but we had so much fun. Thanks Deena for hosting this- you have a beautiful space for it.
Vaughn-elise has gotten into the habit of not taking morning naps on the weekends. I really dont think its anything I am doing as I always lay her down the same time she goes down during the week and do everything else as she would normally for a nap. For some reason she will just sit in there and play or cry. Today she only took a 1 hour nap ALL DAY. Needless to say she was quite fussy tonight. the weird thing is, when she's super tired she gets very wired and crazy and wants to run around and scream and play. Odd.
We didnt do a whole lot- just played and hung out. Rudy came over for a bit so it was nice for VE to get to see her daddy for an hour or so.

I just fall in love with Vaughn-elise everytime i see her. I could look at her, watch her, hold her, kiss her for weeks and months on end and never get tired of it. She fell asleep in my arms tonight after fighting it for a good hour and i just stared at her. Something in me changes when I look at her. I remember feeling her in my stomach and msising that.... I am in awe that she grew inside of me, that she is part of me, that she is such an amazing gift and I am so incredibly lucky to have her and call her my own. i want her to never for one second in her life doubt that she is the most important thing to me and that I absolutely adore her.

What a Beautiful Day!

The weather was gorgeous today- could have been ten degrees cooler but it was nice! My only other girl coworker had her little baby girl this morning. I was more excited than her. I couldnt sleep last night. She went in to be induced at 9 pm and normally- I am in bed by 10, but not last night! i was up til after two. I was so excited for her and it had me thinking about when I had Vaughn....ten months ago today and how nervous and excited i was and how amazing it was to finally meet her. Angella just started showing when she started working with me so I feel like ive known that little baby this whole time. Sigh-I love babies. Afterwork i picked up my ex coworker mannie and we went in to see her. She's just the cutest peanut ever. So tiny. I insisted that they borrow my video camera for the next couple of weeks because i want them to have these moments to treasure forever. My sister let me borrow hers in the hospital and for the first month and I wouldnt trade those videos for anything in this world. i am just hoping Vaughn doesnt do anything in the next few weeks that i wished i had on tape!! they are going to get their own camera here soon but i told them, even if they just have these first hours and days, that will mean the world to them.

Then Mannie took me to dinner and we had a great time catching up. Sweet Vaughn-elise did such a great job! She's passed out in her crib now. I always hate taking her places after i pick her up. i just want to come home and play with her and hang out. And i feel bad for her because it takes her out of her routine.

Tomorrow we have our play date with all of my friends and their kids. Its something we do once a month and its always the best time. We all bring food and sit around and talk and then kids all nap and then we get some great conversations in. its a great tradition and its great to look forward to each month. We have a tailgating one next month, Chirstmas shopping trip to Williamsburg in november and a holiday wrapping party in December. CANT WAIT.

today i had one of those "grrr...im so stressed moments. " and then the wind blew a cool breeze and that feeling of stress was gone. I lvoe it when that happens. When somethign like a fall breeze can calm your deepest nerves. Its so spiritual and moving.

Not Friday Yet?

Thats how I feel today. This week has felt extremely long. Lots on my mind- that never helps. We have our monthly girls chat and babies play party at Vaughn's babysitters and my great friend Deena's house. Its always so much fun. There are lots of other babies for Vaughn to play with and some of our baby-less friends come too. I am really looking forward to it and needing a little girl time. The theme is all american so i am trying to think of something good to make to eat.

I have been planning for Vaughn's birthday party because Sept and October are busy months for me and I want to get a headstart so I dont run out of time. I know its not a big deal to the babies and i have thought about just not having a party and doing something intimate with immidiate family. Then i thought- she only turns 1 one time, i want to make it special. I have the location booked and am not trying to think of simple, cute, cheap decorations. I do hope everyone can make it. October 11th- mark your calendars!!

I am hoping for more cool days this week. I loved it. We slept with the windows open and the fan on and actually woke up and got a blanket! FUN!! It was great- Vaughn got to wear a sweatshirt for the morning and she looked so cute! I am SO ready for fall...though i am sure i will miss the hot days once winter strikes. Yuck.

Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. ~Thomas à Kempis, Imitation of Christ, c.1420

Remember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns! ~Allison Gappa Bottke


Now that it's all over, what did you really do yesterday that's worth mentioning? ~Coleman Cox

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it. ~Author Unknown

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, variation of an excerpt from "The Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Neibuhr

To sensible men, every day is a day of reckoning. ~John W. Gardner

Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. ~Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak. Sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ~Author Unknown

Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got. ~Janis Joplin

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. ~Leo Buscaglia

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. ~Carl Reiner

People change and forget to tell each other. ~Lillian Hellman

JUST PERFECT.

I loved today. I loved the weather. It felt like fall. And i love rainy days- they cheer me up. We have this little back patio at work that is covered and myself and a coworker sat out there and soaked up the chilly fall weather and a little shower. This kind of weather i can never be down or grouchy. I love the cool breeze of morning and being able to sleep with my windows open. It s the most refreshing, fulfilling feeling ever. I just love it. I cannot wait for fall and for Vaughna to be able to play in the leaves and to be able to wear swets and sweatshirts and just enjoy being outside without being sticky and hot.

I am ready for the Hawks to start too. Can't wait! :)

Cute story. Vaughn has learned about being chased now. She gets when I am running behind her or stomping behind her that its a game. She loves it...she crawls up and down the hall squeeling and then will stop and stare at you like..come get me! Its adorable. I love her!

The end of a good/short weekend

Vaughna and momma watching the parade
Vaughna's thought "mmmm yummy necklace." Mommy's thought "Nasty, who touched that anyways? i wonder if that paint comes off easily..".

Still chewing...it came off and into the diaper bag it went shortly after this pic was taken.

'
"WOW MOM! Look at that float!?!?"

SMILES!

Sweet corn festival- a success...no stressful/un-needed banter, no drama, just a fun filled-corn lovin, friend encountering day. It was hot...not really but with thousands of people and lots of food stands cooking...it was hot. we went early to watch the parade. Vaughna loved it she was so into everything...the band, the floats. Not so much the fire trucks and police cars but she even got thrown a pretty necklace. No candy for my pretty lady this year...maybe in a few. But she did have fun. I was not sure she would care at all but she seemed to really enjoy herself.

rudy came down also, so right after the parade we went and stood in line for the free sweet corn. It was awesome! When we got there we were maybe only 20 people back and by the time we got our corn the line was two and a half blocks long...INSANE. We sat around, ate some good food and vaughna had her first snow cone! i just sucked the syrup off the ice and then fed it to her- she devoured it. Wish I had a working camera!

i was able to hook up with friends later that night and it was a good time had by all. I love catching up (and eating fair food). Today has gone very fast. I got my car cleaned out and my room picked up and thats about it. Oh well- lazy sundays are the best....

Wish tomorrow wasnt monday. I am ready for Fall...I am attatching some pictures that my sister took of us at the parade...

Happy Happy JOY JOY

Its friday. thats all i can say!!!!

tomorrow is the adel sweet corn festival. Hmmm...it seems like everyone I know is extatic about this day. i dont understand it. Maybe its because i havent been in like 5 years, i just dont get what the big deal is. ...maybe i have no small town enthusiasm?? I think the real issue is that i hate running into people and having them pretend like they care what ive been up to. My theory is...if you wanted to know- we would have been in touch before this point. I still talk to everyone from HS that I want to talk to...not in a mean way, i just figure if you want to keep in touch with people you do. I dont midn occassional small talk but why cant people just say hello and be done with it? Maybe thats rude of me?

Oh well, there are some people i am glad i will get to hang out with. I havent been out with friends in a long time so we are all going down to the "after festival festivities" to hang out and get away. Alot of them have children so it will be nice to know that they are with thier grandparents and we can all relax.

On a different note. Vaughna is up to 4 words now, Dada, Mama, Baby and thank you. Yes, thank you. Odd, i know. I tell her thank you all the itme, for kisses, for hugs, for giving me things etc and her babysitter and her daddy tell her thank you as well...
so last night i was sitting on the floor playing and i gave her a hug and kiss and she said "thank you" I was like...no way did she just say that. So a few more times throughout the night she said it...when i gave her puffs and one random time. Today when i picked her up, her sitter said..."Is vaughn saying thank you now? i could have sworn she was saying that today!" CRAZY. I guess its good to have manners even as a baby huh? Too cute!
Vaughna came and visited me at work today it was so great. I love showing her off and its a great break during the day to see her! She is trully growing so fast and getting so thin!

Lets hope the weather stays this cool and gorgeous forever. i love this.

new pictures

Andre came over to play last night and here is him and Vaughna- they had a great time!

Showing off her teeth with a goofy look:)

I love that sweet smile. I love my sweet girl.

Vaughna thinking Im a little crazy...

i found this picture from the wedding in Arizona. It makes me laugh. I feel just like this most days!

Another one from the wedding. i think its just darling!

Weekends always go too fast. This one in particular flew by. I didnt accomplish anything and am somehow exhausted ( I am blaming the heat). I am finally finally done with art classes. What a mistake! I am so glad to be finished and have my Saturday mornings back for garage saling!!! Today we just hung out and then went shopping ( I am broke, but in desperate need of some clothes..) I actually had alot of success at Kohls which is usually hit and miss for me. They were having a huge sale! I found some new jeans and I think 6 shirts and some new sippy cups for Vaughn. She is very into her sippy cups now! We went up to Ankeny to see Matt and Maria. His place is small but he is making it very "matt-like" and getting things on the wall etc... Being there makes me miss those days of apt living, no repsonsibility etc. All the heat sure wiped out sweet Vaughn-elise. She crashed on the way home after a major jam session in the car and usualy wakes up when i shut the car door to get her out...this time though, she just passed out on my shoulder and stayed asleep when i transfered her to bed. I hope she wakes up so she can eat, but hey- nothing wrong with a midnight snack huh?

Another long week. Going to the PT again tomorrow. I hope it starts working soon! I always feel fantastic when I leave there but by the next apt I am back to hurting. id ont know if I am just paying more attention to the pain in response to the therapy or if its getting worse but I notice myself hurting alot more than i did before. Maybe I will take a while to fix!

Sweet Corn Festival is this coming saturday. I havent been since High School. I just, for some reason, dont like seeing everyone I went to school with. I think for the most part I have realized how petty high school was. I enjoyed it while I was there but have no desire to see 98% of the people I graduated with. Those I do want to see, i still do. The fake-ness of running into someone you knew but didnt necessarily care for or hang out with annoys me to no end...the "hey, I havent seen you forever, what have you been up to?" question is enough to make me puke. When all I really want to say is "Why are you talking to me? We havent spoken in 6 years and barely spoke in HS...." Its frustrating to me...and yet you notice the same cliques hanging out that hung out in high school...grr...so annoying. i want to go and take VE to the parade though, I think she will like that.

She has now discovered the emotion of Fear. She is scared of..well...most things now. The vaccum has become her number one monster. If she so much as sees it or hears it she is grabbing onto my legs and screaming. the other day I was holding her and vacuuming...she was screaming and actually drew blood on my back from pinching so hard to hang on. I feel horrible for her. The vaccum was in Matts room the other day and i opened the door to get something and she lost it..if she even see's the cord of the vaccum you would think there were sharks after her. Poor girl. I tell her, Its okay- mama's "scared " to vaccum too:) She also has this little little cow that moos. its cute. it came in a set with a chicken, pig and rooster and they are very tiny. she has always loved them and thought they were hilarious. Well Mr. Cow had been hiding under the bed for a few weeks and i finally found him. he was laying on the floor today and she started screaming and crawling toward me really fast. I of course, did not know what happened and a little later, she did the same thing. At one point i noticed her staring at it and crying so i figured out it was the cow. i picked it up and made it moo and she crawled fast to her crib and held on tight. Poor thing is TERRIFIED of this silly little cow. i dont know why. it was on her blanket and she picked it up and threw it and grabbed her blanket and started crying. i feel horrible for her. The stupid cow is now in a drawer hiding. My sweet timid girl.

Have a good week everyone!

So, I have been thinking alot lately, researching alot and debating with myself alot. I try to do what is best for the environement whenver possible... I dont print at work unless I have to and I seriosuly lose sleep over the amount of wasted paper in my office, I use organic, chemical free cleaners, I buy economical sized things when i can to avoid wasted packaging, I try to be economical with gas, buy organic, recycle whenever I can, etc etc etc....but the one thing I have had a hard time with is switching to cloth diapers. i have done alot of reasearch and found that diapers take 500 years to dissolve from the landfills, they have bleach in them which I do not want vaughns sweet soft skin exposed to, and did a little math to figure out that she will use around 5000 disposible diapers before she is 2 and we will spend close to 2000 dollars on diapers alone. Two nights ago i was up all night thinking about switching her. As soon as I read that they take 500 years to disappear from the landfills, I instantly thought that my great great great great grandchildren will be living on earth with my daughters diapers. Gross and SAD. So, I talked about it at work alot and at first everyone was really grossed out, but the more we talked, the more they agreed that its not economical or earth friendly to use disposibles. I have looked at a lot of different types of cloth diapers and they are alot different than I though, I alwas thought it was a big hunk of cloth and sharp pins and plastic covers...so wrong.

Anyways, I am having a really hard time. I know they are alot of work- lots of laundry etc, but i really feel i owe it to her and I and the earth and her great great great grandkids to not be putting 5000 diapers in the earth. Thats just gross...much grosser to me than washing pee diapers in the washing machine. Any opinions on this? I really cannot sleep at night because i am feeling so guilty after reading all those facts.

P.S. I am really missing a camera!