Thursday, April 29, 2010

ATTN ALL MAMAS!!! HELP!!!!

I offically have thrown in the towel. Terrible Twos. Enough said. My daughter is next to a saint for everyone else, including her dad...but for SOME Reason, she feels like when i come home, excited to see her she must officially turn into a raging monster who hates me. She WILL.NOT.LISTEN and for some reason, my immature mother mind thinks that yelling will do the trick, NOPE! NO matter how much or how loud I yell, I just sound like a woman on drugs and not a loving nurturing mother and vaughn's ears never ever hear me. Its insane. I have cried all night. She has hit, bitten, thrown things, colored on the hardwood floors with permanent marker, painted on the walls (where she finds these things i have NO CLUE) she has ripped a book, torn pictures off of her walls, put things in her mouth that dont belong and told me twice she doesnt love me anymore. I have threatened her, put her in time out, attempted to put her to bed, i have hugged her, loved on her and prayed....nothing works. I just sit and cry when she's like this. I know she is testing me and its working. I am beside myself. My sister and her kiddos were going to stop over today to bring V a may basket. I had to call and tell them not to come because i didnt want her to feel like her behavior was being rewarded by visitors and a treat. I would have loved for them to stop over.

I am beside myself. Rudy insists that i dont do anything different than him but that she does.not.behave this way around him and i know she doesnt at her sitters or my moms. Its just me. I walk in the room and she thinks all rules are out the window, which is strange since I am the rule enforcer of the household. I dont get it. If you have ANY Advice, pass it my way. I am about to invest in childsized handcuffs. (i kid....no i dont....yes i do.....:)

At my wits end, one grouchy mama

1 comment:

mrs t said...

YOU are a great mom. V is a great kid. And YOU are not alone. Phillippe and I have been going through this same thing with Andre. There are times I have to simply ignore him. Let him cry/scream for how ever long it takes for a fit to end. I take things away. One after the other until he quits throwing them. We do a lot of timeouts, too. But for the bigger things, hit/spit/pull hair/throw. The only place I can get him to stay put is in his booster seat at the table. Because it's a high top, he can't go anywhere. Then we say sorry, hug, and move on. But it's not 5 minutes later that we're going through it again. Immediately after disciplining her, try going outside. That way, you have enforced your rules, and she's already been "punished". Or make a deal with her. She would get that. You can have ____if you do _____. Not saying any of my advice will do the trick. But I know how you are feeling. I loose it way too often. The reason why she's like that with you is because you are her mom. Think about it. Did we do that stuff with dad? Gma? Aunts? Babysitters? NO. Just mom. My kids are the same way. Especially Dre. And he's such a tame sweet boy. But that's just it. He's a BOY...and he's TWO. Next time, call me. I'll come over. We'll play in the yard. Don't look at it as her getting special treatment, look at it as you keeping your sanity together. Don't feel bad that after a day away from her, you need a small break from her. The first day home from our trip last week, I wanted a break from the kids! Maybe try a sticker chart with her. It worked wonders with Gabs. Andre, I don't think would get it. But she was so 'with it". It might work. V is smart. Reward/Consequence thing. Not trying to go advice crazy on you. I could just hear the sadness in your voice through your words. All of us moms have been there. The important thing to remember is that you aren't alone...or perfect. And neither is she. But you have to be firm, consistent, and CALM or it will all hit the fan. Meghan, I'm serious. Call me when you get to that point. It's hard to do it alone. Not that you are, but I mean at night, when it's just you in times like that. Go on a walk to our house. We may not be living this close to you after we sell, so use me while I"m here.

I love you, and I love that girl. You are doing great. And you will continue to do so. You'll figure out what works for you and her. And as much as it hurts that she only does that to you, think about it this way. She feels the MOST comfortable with you. That's why. She knows that you will always be there, always love, always end everything with a kiss and a hug. (didn't mean to make that rhyme!) I'll pray for you, too. Have a good day. And a great night!!