Banana baby

I appologize for not keeping up with my blog. During the week, all i want to do is come home and snuggle and play with v-e. And on the weekends, i feel so busy catching up with the things i forgot to do during the week that it rarely crosses my mind to update. We are getting ready to call it an early night. It was a good weekend- I went with my new work friends to the funny bone on saturday night and had a really great time. We stayed at my parents house on sat. night since it was so cold and blustery- i didnt want to get vaughnna out after i got back to pick her up. Chuch is always refreshing and then I came home and we got some good play time /nap time in. I just got off the phone with my grandma margaret. I miss her dearly. I cant finish a conversation with her without being tearful. I miss my grandpa wayne terribly, I think about him every single day still. Usually in the car- And i can hear his chuckle and the way he would say..."elt, whats so funny??!! Ahh, here she goes! " everytime i would get the giggles. What i wouldnt give to have him back for a day. A minute. I cant imagine being my gma and being so lonely. It breaks my heart that he never got to meet vaughn- that she never got to know him. What an amazing amazing man he was. I wonder if he met her before she came to me. She has alot of his spirit. Stubborn and lighthearted. She makes his facial expressions sometimes and i cry because i miss him and i cry because i love her so much. I could never imagine my life without him and i cant ever imagine it without her. I worry about my grandma everyday. That her car will go in the ditch and no one will know to come get her. Or that she will fall on the ice getting out of her car going to her house and she will be cold. I worry that she is sad and alone sitting in her dark house. I often wish i would have followed my heart when my grandpa died and gone to live with her. She shouldnt be alone. Its not fair. I love talking to her and do feel horrible for not calling more often. I forget what it must be like to just be sitting home alone waiting for someone to stop by or call. I feel guilty. I miss the farm.


I suppose i should take advantage of the early night since vaughn has gracefully put herself to sleep and now is singing in her bed. I will go rock and sing with her and then settle in. Another monday is too quickly here.