I havent posted in a long time as its been very busy. We went to the color drive this weekend and spent some time at the family farm. Its my favorite place ever...even thought I always, without fail feel like crap when i am there. not sure if its something in the house or what but it doesnt take away from the feeling I have when I am there....
its harder now to go there, missing my grandpa, everytime I pull in I still expect him to come up and give me a big ole hug...smelling of a hard days work and old flannel shirts. i loved how he smelled. Its strange and sad to see my grandma's frail body walk to the door without him there. It has yet to get easier. The farm holds so many memories for us all. We had a great time shopping around, Vaughn-elise did great (though she learned to be an escape artist from her stroller!!! eeek) and then that night we had a bonfire and hayride. it was alot of fun.
It was sad to have to leave but its always nice to curl up in your own bed too.
We stopped sunday night in bettendorf to spend some quality time with "daddy". it was really nice. It seems rare that I get to spend un interupted time with him. Its usually me dropping off VAughn or him coming over before work for a few hours. I miss him alot. We have been discussing alot lately about what we want to do and where we will go from here. As much as i fight it sometimes, I just dont picture myself without him. Sigh...we will see i suppose.
We took VE to her 1 year appointment this morning. she had to get 4 shots :( I hate that for her. she just cried and looked at me like "moma make them stop!" It broke my heart! She has handled them well today though. I have given her tylonol and she is doing great. She is growing just great. 23 pounds and almost 31 inches long. They say she is still in the 90th percentile for weight and 97th for height. I feel like she is getting skinnier but maybe not. They also told us to try switching her to lactose free milk instead of her formula...SAD! My baby is growing up. This wont be a smooth transition though, I picked some up today and she HATES it, she wont even let me put it in her mouth and if she gets any she spits it out at me and cries. Poor thing! I'll keep working on it and if she wont take it I guess we'll have to go to soy milk....thats okay, its cheaper anyways. I guess we'll just transition slowly and do formula at night for a while. I still cannot beleive she is a year old!!!! Thats just crazy!
Tomorrow is supposed to be cold and rainy so i think we'll stay home and inside. i need to start organizing my things, selling things and taking inventory of what i will need to have packed for when I find my own place. I find that the longer I stay here the less independent I feel and the more I feel like a teenage mother instead of an adult with a child. Thats not good for me, for vaughn or for my parents. Now if only I could find a job!
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