Really? could this week get any worse?!?!?! Our entire system was down today at work...all day! so i sat there staring at a blank screen ALL 8 HOURS!!!! I did not do one thing today at work, read some magazines, checked email...thats it!!! I hate that, those days just make me mad that they dont let us go home and be with our family...they are payign us to sit there and do absolutely nothing- why cant they pay us to go home?!?
I then found out that Vaughn's babysitter has to go back to work:( We will really miss her alot. Vaughn loves going there and I never ever worry about if she is being taken care of or not. it breaks my heart for Vaughn, where ever she goes next will be her THIRD sitter in a year!!! I feel horrible for her. i just want her to know consistency. I am struggling alot today. emotionally...Trying to figure out what to do. I would love to stay home with her, but I have no financial support other than myself. i have thought about picking up kids to watch...even three or four and it will save me gas and childcare costs but i wouldnt be able to afford insurance. i am going to speak with my "boss/HR lady" tomorrow to see if she will allow me to work from home. IT would be more than easy and is totally possible but i think they will say no. I dont know why- we never can get work done at work anyways since the computers suck. Its stressing me out...beyond belief. I just keep praying that I come into money somehow, that i am all of a sudden offered a raise or a job that pays GREAT or that I win the lottery (though, I cannot afford the tickets so I dont even play)....I just need financial freedom....or at least the ability to support myself. I hate the situation I am in...and feel helpless to change it. I not only work my 8-5, I sell jewelry, AND i teach digital photography on a one on one basis and will be offering a class on October....and Im still not making ends meet...what else, Lord? What else can i do?
SIGH! I need a break. I am excited for the fall colordrive, for Vaughn's birthday, for the jewelry party this weekend....for the weekend in general... i need it!
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