blah. I stayed home this morning...feeling the sickies. No fun. Sunday morning i woke up and felt like death had swept over me in the night...death or an 18 wheeler. Sore throat, swollen sinus's, sore muscles, killer headache...the yuckies. Vaughn was feeling it too i think...This morning i woke up feeling like my head had been beaten with a baseball bat all night so i called in for the morning so I could sleep. Rudy came and got Mrs Vaughn-elise and I slept like a rock. If you know me, this is rare. I am not at all a day sleeper...ive never been a napper- I just think naps are boring and there is so many other things I would rather do with my day. But not today, Rudy picked her up at 8 (which I felt horrible about because when i am home I want to be with her) and i went straight back to bed and slept til 11:45!!!! I must have needed that because though im not a hundred percent yet, I feel WAY better than I did. i think sometimes my body is so deprived of rest that it has to show me how badly its in need before I will listen and slow down. I wish I was more in tune with what my body was feeling so I could stop things when they were beginning instead of when they were already crashing.
On a more serious note- I have been contemplating requesting my doctors do surgery on my leg. I don't want to fix what isnt broken but by the same token, we know it will break again- its just a matter of when. They have tossed around the idea of doing a bone graft which totally grosses me out (having a dead persons bone in my body- ew.) and I was never worried about it breaking before...well, i shouldnt say never worried, but much less so...but now that I have Vaughn-elise and i carry her everywhere and its going to be winter soon- I just worry alot about falling when I am with her and now that she can walk i would be terrified that she would walk away from me and I couldnt get to her, that someone would take her if we were in public, that she would be cold and no one would know where we were...all those things. Everytime I get an ache or pain I worry about it breaking. I am extra cautious to alway carry my phone on me, but what if it fell when i fell and i couldnt reach it?? this has to be one of my biggest worries...what if i dropped her when i fell, what if she was hurt. I do not by any means want to be away from her and recovery would kill me to not be able to play with her, pack her around etc.... but i feel it might be best for her safety. i am just so concerned about it. She is only going to get heavier and my leg will only get weaker...so it just makes sense to do the preventative. I have an apt on november 4th to discuss this with them. To me, its a catch 22, suffer now or suffer later. Either way- it just sucks.
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