The countdown

the countdown is on....5 more days til I move into my own place. Wait, 6...but still. It will go fast, this weekend will be busy and I still havent really packed much. I am waiting for the weather to make up its mind so I can only pack on season right now...but....its iowa and it will probably snow again in a few weeks.

So, Im feeling huge. I NEED to go to the gym. I am so sick and tired of being fat and unhappy with the way I look. SICK of it. Im just soft, there isnt a hard spot on my body...but my head. I miss the way I used to look in college...size 4, in shape, worked out twice a day, ate well....
Now, I havent worked out in way too long, I HATE my size and feel gross, i eat whatever I can grab on the run and i just feel nasty. Its time, past time, to get back in gear and take care of my body.

I have decided that I am going to do it. It might be a slow process b ut I have no one to blame for the way I look but myself. and I CANNOT believe I let myself get this heavy. Its rediculous. I worked so hard to get small in college and then I let myself balloon up. i want Vaughn to be raised seeing a good example of someone who lives a healthy lifestyle and takes care of herself and makes her body a priority. Not a fat, lazy, eat junk food kinda mom. Thats just gross. Sitting for 8 hours per day I am going to have to really pay much more attention to waht im doing and what im eating. Grrr. I hate getting old. Barf.


anyways, its bed time. sorry to be a debby downer.