Day two...

and still a challenge. I started my new job yesterday. it was very much as hard as i anticipated...if not more so. I cried the whole way to work. i then pulled my self together, just long enough to walk in the room and have the first person ask me "hows that new baby of yours..." then i lost it. I cried the first 15 min. of training, but luckily- alot of them have kids and totally understood. They just passed around kleanex's. we got off early so i was so thrilled to see my sweet angel. I had anticipated coming home over lunch to see her, but they ordered in (as rudy had warned me they might.) so they day drug on... but i was glad she got to go to barbs and play for a bit. Today was just as hard. I cried when i left the house, i cried when i dropped her off at barbs at noon over my lunch and i cried the whole way back to work. its crazy how you can miss someone so tiny and feel such an absense when they arent there. it will take alot of getting used to. thats for sure. i think about her the whole time i am there. counting down the minutes til i get to go pick her up. I hope she doesnt forget me during the day, while im gone. thats my biggest fear. i am crying now just thinking about it.!! Gosh, im a dork and far more emotional now that i was after i had her....grrr...

the job itself is going well. its very interesting and i am learning alot- very quickly. i cant wait to get moved into my office in a couple weeks and be able to put up pictures of my girl.

i hate this weather, i really really really do. i am beyond ready for spring. poor vaughn has never breathed fresh outside air or even seen the outdoors as she has been covered in blankets since she was born. poor thing!!

being a mother has made me the happiest i have been in my entire life. nothing holds a glimpse of how i feel compared to this. everyday is exciting, new adventures, faces, noises, I am forever amazed at how hearts dont litterally stop from all the love-when i look at her, it feels as though it should. what a gift, what a miraculous gift.