Friday

Its friday, that means tomorrow is valentines day, and also means I only have one more week of staying at home. It breaks my heart, trully. I have thought about it almost every hour. I simply DO NOT want to have to leave my peanut. I dont. Logically, i know she will be fine, i know she will survive and have fun and that her social skills will be better because of it (not that she needs help in that department) but i also know that she may be my only child and that these moments are too precious to let someone else enjoy, these are the moments i will never get back and will for the rest of my life wish I had been there for. tis not that i dont want to bring in money, .I definetly do, i just want to do it and be able to stay home at the same time. I want to be able to cherish her and watch all of her amazing dances and funny things she says and does and i want to teach her things and take her to classes and have all day to just enjoy her. i get why at this point in my life i need an income. I get that. I get that, but my heart is still breaking. i still cry about it, I still wish there was another way. If rudy has anything to do with it I wont be working long. he really doesnt want me to go back but understnads also that i need health insurance and some money. Sigh. i know I will survive but it doesnt make it easier.

Valentines day. Hopefully the crazzy rediculous amounts of snow we just got wont ruin the day! if it does, I guess we'll stay in and watch a movie and cook....doesnt sound too bad either!