It's 9:30 and Vaughn-elise is just going to bed. Rudy played ball all day and I wanted her to see him tonight so they are up laying in bed and I have time to write a little. This weekend has been hard...Rudy's dad is really sick and the diagnosis is not positive. He has been sick for a very long time but has not really shown signs or symptoms that we've been aware of. He is now in the hospital....they are going to do more tests this week. It has gotten me emotionally and I never deal well with death or the preparation for it...I am such a planner and not knowing kills me. It makes me feel like I need to save people and just gives me horrible anxiety. It makes me wonder what they are thinking, worried about, regretting. What are the memories they wish they could pass on about their life, their childhood, does anyone know the things about them that made them who they are? I want to document their life, their loves stories, trials, everything. I am so thankful and lucky that I have gotten to make such amazing memories with my grandparents. I know losing my grandpa was the hardest thing i have ever had to experience. He was my hero, my buddy and I admired him and looked at him in awe and adoration. I hope each person who passes has at least one person who looks at them and loves them like I love my grandpa.It makes me so sad that Rudy's dad will not see Vaughn grow up and she will not have memories of him. Rudy wants us all to go up in two weekends. I would love to get everyone together and get some family pictures for them, take some video tape of them all together of him and Vaughnie. Its just very sad. My heart hurts for him and his family. Prayers are much needed and appreciated.