TGIF like never before`

Can we say ...longest week EVER? Man, I am so glad its friday. Had another PT apt today (much smoother thanks, I nixed the fiber drinks for now:)

I think VE is getting sick though, I am not sure if its her ears or her teeth bothering her but she's unnaturally irritable, not hungry and up a million times per night. Its wearing me out and I feel horrible for her. She seems fine during the days- no fussiness reported from her sitter though both her daddy and her sitter say she has been sleeping more than normal. I will see how the weekend goes and take her to the doctor monday if she still seems upset. She fell asleep at 7 on the dot like normal and I just now laid her down..up she shot and now she's staring at me smiling. My sweet baby.

I was thinking tonight as I held her and snugled that she trully is such a miracle. It makes me think about life in general and how it all starts as just two tiny cells....its so amazing. Its sometimes hard for me to realize that she was ever so tiny and inside my tummy. She is so precious and i just stare at her- I could look at her for hours and never bore of it. She is just perfection. So sweet. So innocent and impressionable. Thats something i worry about- I want her to have such a great out look on life and to have a great sense of humor and a strong sense of self and i have to evaluate myself and my thinking everyday to try to be a model of those things for her. I want her to be able to worry less and play more, stress less and laugh more, i want nice words and thoughts to overwhelm her, I want her to be compasionate and empathetic and I never want her to feel uneasy or unsafe or insecure. Though I know those things are natural feelings at some point. I want her to admire me and want to have my qualities....and so I am trying hard to be the person I want her to see in me....confident, passionate, enthusiastic, honest, encouraging....

i am so excited to see the person she will become, the things she will say when she can talk, the way she will laugh when somehting is funny (though I am getting a glimpse of that with peek a boo). She is a very laid back baby...though fairly serious....she rarely belly laughs (but fake laughs alot when she thinks others are laughing.) She is so interested in everything around her and cannot concentrate because she's so curious about EVERYTHING. I swear sometimes she'll break her neck from trying to see around a corner. I love that about her...her inquisitive nature. She is such a busy body and always wants to be on the move....I cannot decide if its her personality or her body trying to learn new ways of moving...walking, standnign, dancing....


I love her to the moon and back and I hope she never for one second in her life doubts my deep crazy, passionate love that i have for her. She is the best thing thats ever happened in my life....Please, God....help me make her know that and feel that every day.