Yes, to those of you who look at the time- it really is almost 4 in the morning. Im not s ure why i cant sleep- bad dreams, anxiety, being sick-the medicines keeping me wide awake. I feel like i have a million things to do and absolutely no time to complete them. I had the day off today and spent the day cleaning....deep cleaning. It felt good to get some of that done- but still have alot to do. I have to leave scrubbing the floors to rudy as i cant get down there anymore (at least not back up once i did get down there.) I still didnt get the hospital bags packed like i would have liked. Rudy asked me today when i got home from the grocery store if i had hired someone or if my mom came over and cleaned....apparently he was impressed---its not like ive never cleaned before- give me a break! But it was nice that he noticed. Now if it would just stay this way. I now understand how my mom used to block off rooms with chairs so after she cleaned no one could go in there for like a week. Thats what i feel like doing too. Kendal came over tonight for her birthday to hang out. I wish i could have afforded to do a big blow out party or get her something really fantastic, but all i could afford was to just watch a movie. It was relaxing and nice to just hang out. We did have fabulous cake and ice cream which always makes for a good night! (apparently, also a sleepless night.) Rudy and I went to bed early- which could be part of the problem and stayed awake trying to figure out when /how long he was taking off work....what other days throughout the rest of the year he would need off for family events and other things. Its really nice to know he's at least thinking about this- even if he cant possibly take all the time off I would like. Its good to feel like, even though he's loving his job- he is finally realizing that he has to make sacrifices for his family. Either our long talk to the other night really helped- or he's just coming around some. I think it will unfortunatly be a slow process for him, but hopefully well worth it in the end. I would like for him not to have to get a second job- but this has been a discussion as well, at least until i can come to terms with going back to work- or finding a different job who's hours work better. Oh how i wish money was no object! Well, a few more days of work and then i will have a couple of days to get a few more things done. For now, I will try to go back to sleep....wish me luck!
P.S. What on earth happened to fall???
No comments:
Post a Comment