bah humbug

I am realizing that some things, some worries and troubles in your life cant even be fixed by gorgeous weather and beautiful fall. This is sad, beings its such a wonderful time of year. I keep reminding myself...this too shall pass. However, saying this doesnt seem to do a whole lot for my spirit. This should be the most exciting point in my life and i just cant seem to get as excited as i should be.

Dont get me wrong. I am exctatic and trully cant wait to see her beautiful face. I am so excited for that, i cant wait to snuggle her-Speaking of which, i went to the doctor today and they are for sure doing amnio in two weeks- meaning we will most likely (without a doubt according to the doctor) have her in two weeks. Of course there is a small chance she wont be fully baked yet and will need to stay comfy in the oven for a few weeks longer- and i am somewhat okay with that. Im sad to think i wont feel her anymore, or that iw ill have to share her. Its sort of scary. What if im a bad mom??

I am going to the doctor tomorrow again, (my last appointment with my perinatologist). This will be my last ultrasound. My mom is going and i am excited for her to see the ultrasound and meet my amazing doctor. I am hoping baby vaughn-elise shows her face this time as the last two times she has stayed hidden. I would love to get a better image of her before she gets here.

I am trying not to sweat the small stuff- and this is good considering there are so many big things going on right now.

I need a vacation from myself.