Forest Gump is the saddest movie i have ever seen.
I cant stop crying- what a wreck.

Thursday

Not a whole lot new today- Spending the day running errands again and hoping to get the car nice and clean so i can get the car seat installed today or tomorrow. I got alot accomplished yesterday which made me feel great!! While my errand running yesterday was unproductive (my mom is very right about my decision making skills disappearing since ive been pregnant), i was still able to feel like i got alot done; some thank you notes written, a little organizing done etc. We went to my parents last night for chili and corn bread and let me tell you what!!! AMAZING!!! I was in total heaven! I ate way way way too much and vaughn-elise let me know it later- but it was worth ever single minute of heart burn for each bite of the delisious chili! I think people who can make chili are pretty amazing. I love to cook but for some reason, that is the one thing that seems very overwhelming to me. Luckily i have a mom and dad who can whip up a batch like its no ones buisness.

They were (my parents) also extremely helpful last night. Rudy and I really appreciated them coming over and bringing some more stuff to help make the place homey. We now have a place to sit and eat when you all come over and visit, a dresser for our clothes and two recliners to help sooth the baby to sleep:) Its looking much nicer. The only room i have left to really clean before monday is the bedroom- getting it rearranged fror the cradle and one of the recliners.

Before monday??!!! Its werid to just say that....only 4 days left! Thats insane!!!

Tonight i am meeting the good ole "sport about for kids girls" out for dinner and am excited to see them all. One of the girls has moved back from the east coast and we are all anxious to get back together again. Today looks like its going to be a great day!

exhaustion!

So today was a challenge to get through- thats about the nicest thing i can say.

The lack of help around the house and the desperate need to get it cleaned and organized is enough to make me have a stroke. i am tired of pushing, asking and begging and just ready to get it done...so even after a long day- im stuck cleaning. This sucks! I think it must be a difference in how we were raised...my house, deep cleaned weekly, not so much on the other end of the stick. Not so much- ever! I refuse to bring a newborn home to a nasty dirty place. SIGH... i need to sleep...obviously- the only thing i can seem to do is gripe and question why i am the only one working on anything...I dont understand how men can sit on a couch and turn the tv up while we are trying to the cook dinner, clean up after dinner, vaccum, organize etc... i, sometimes am glad i dont understand men...and other times, id give anything to understand them...just a little bit!!!!!

Stacie (my boss) must have felt my tension and could read (by the tens of hundreds of lists i had around me at work today) that i was overwhelmed and needed to have some time to do what i needed to do. SO, she gave me tomorrow (what was my last day ) off. While i have to stop in and get some things done- its more than nice to know i dont have to go in and work all day and then come home and get to get back to work.... I liked college better!!! For some reason, cleaning was my LAST priority then!

Anyways, Someone asked me today if i was excited for monday- i kinda laughed and said...."excited....terrified...they all feel the same." And its strange, because they do. A weird feeling in your stomach, anxiety and impatience, overtaking of the mind. Maybe its a mix of both.

Tomorrow night is chili and corn bread night at my parents and i am SO EXCITED!! Just what i need on a fall day to unwind and take a minute to breathe!!!

frazzled, emotional, crazy-
Meghan

longest day!

Sigh- im ready for bed. For some reason today seemed extra long, clients were extra "dont know why i gained weight- i only ate four brats and drank ten beers", co workers were extra demanding and my patience was extra low.

But tonight has been relaxing just to come home, warm up some old pizza and eat the popcorn cake my dad made me yesterday that was so good i would have eaten it out of a shoe. Somethign about it brings back my childhood. Its delish!

My to do list keeps getting longer and im trying to remind myself that if I dont get it done, life will go on, and i know it will. I think i got it from my mom- not wanting to do anything or go anywhere until all the housework was done, my to do list was done and when it was all said and done i could come home and not have to worry about having a house full of work waiting when i got home. I never understood it when i was younger and it probably made me mad then, but now, i get it more than ever!!! Sigh.... Mom, im becoming you more and more everyday!!! You warned me :)

Im sick of this weather. I miss the 60's and 50's.

Another 11 hour day ahead tomorrow at work- I need to rest so i dont kill anyone. Gnight.

7 more days!!

7 more days!!! I cant even believe it! This pregnacy has gone so fast! Its insane really. I think i am offically nesting....my to do list grows by the minute and I have inlisted Rudy's help in cleanign out the fridge, and have left him an entire list of things for him to do while i am doing my list. Im not sure that he is very fond of this- but is possibly too scared to say otherwise:) As you all know, ive been irrational and moody and i dont blame him most days for putting his tail between his legs and taking whatever is thrown at him. (sometimes literally:) I think he can tell im starting to panic some.

I got to see my parents, brother, sister and little sweet gabs this weekend- its a nice time to get to see everyone. I am really wishing that fall would just make up its mind and stick around for a while. We cant seem to decide to keep the air on or open the windows. The weather channel predicts one more day of heat and then a nice long stretch of beatuiful 60's and 70's. Tuesday- birth day- should be perfect- cool and rainy- my absolute favorite!! Three more long days of work and then i will have a good four days to get everything done i need/ want to do. I am hoping to hit up some garage sales friday and saturday since they will probably be the last days i get to do that until the color drive. (and yes, im determined to go:))

One more week until we all get to meet little vaughn-elise! Hurry here sweet girl (or take your time, i cant decide which id prefer right now. )

sleepless in iowa.

Yes, to those of you who look at the time- it really is almost 4 in the morning. Im not s ure why i cant sleep- bad dreams, anxiety, being sick-the medicines keeping me wide awake. I feel like i have a million things to do and absolutely no time to complete them. I had the day off today and spent the day cleaning....deep cleaning. It felt good to get some of that done- but still have alot to do. I have to leave scrubbing the floors to rudy as i cant get down there anymore (at least not back up once i did get down there.) I still didnt get the hospital bags packed like i would have liked. Rudy asked me today when i got home from the grocery store if i had hired someone or if my mom came over and cleaned....apparently he was impressed---its not like ive never cleaned before- give me a break! But it was nice that he noticed. Now if it would just stay this way. I now understand how my mom used to block off rooms with chairs so after she cleaned no one could go in there for like a week. Thats what i feel like doing too. Kendal came over tonight for her birthday to hang out. I wish i could have afforded to do a big blow out party or get her something really fantastic, but all i could afford was to just watch a movie. It was relaxing and nice to just hang out. We did have fabulous cake and ice cream which always makes for a good night! (apparently, also a sleepless night.) Rudy and I went to bed early- which could be part of the problem and stayed awake trying to figure out when /how long he was taking off work....what other days throughout the rest of the year he would need off for family events and other things. Its really nice to know he's at least thinking about this- even if he cant possibly take all the time off I would like. Its good to feel like, even though he's loving his job- he is finally realizing that he has to make sacrifices for his family. Either our long talk to the other night really helped- or he's just coming around some. I think it will unfortunatly be a slow process for him, but hopefully well worth it in the end. I would like for him not to have to get a second job- but this has been a discussion as well, at least until i can come to terms with going back to work- or finding a different job who's hours work better. Oh how i wish money was no object! Well, a few more days of work and then i will have a couple of days to get a few more things done. For now, I will try to go back to sleep....wish me luck!


P.S. What on earth happened to fall???

sweet relief

I love my doctor- I love drugs. Last night was the first good nights sleep in about a week and I could actually breathe! Granted, the normal tossing and turning- legs falling asleep pregnancy mishaps were still there- but I COULD BREATHE! Hip Hip Hooray!

Today is my "day off" and i have to say- i dont think it will really be much of a day off at all. I have a ton of errands to run, a house to clean, dishes to do.....

Rudy got it started yesterday by picking up all the clothes off the floor and sorting them into baskets so i wouldnt have to do this... (all while i was napping...maybe i dont give him enough credit) and took out the trash and picked up the dishes laying around... (i know I know, it makes our place sound like it was pretty bad off, and truthfully- it sort of is right now...which is why i am dedicating the day to cleaning.

I am hoping to put together the hospital bag today- everytime i start i get all anxious about it and dont put anything in the bag...we'll try it again.

Its also kendals birthday and while i trully dont feel like doing anything- I think she will come over tonight for a movie and cake. Thats the plan anyways. Who can pass up cake?