Dissapointment!

Well to say the least the news we recieved today from the doctors was very dissappointing. The amnio itself went well and was less painful than anticipated- although the after pain of the contractions etc seemed far worse than the actual procedure. During the ultrasound the doctors were saying that she is between 8.5-9.5 pounds and has no room left to manuver. In fact, they could hardly get enough amniotic fluid in one spot to get enough for the amnio. They were just sure she was ready- and so were we. We were giddy all morning and afternoon. During the amnio the doctor commented on how cloudy the fluid was and how good this was- meaning her lungs were letting out whatever it is they are supposed to. I went up to recover on the maternity floor and i think seeing where we would be made rudy really excited. He hasnt stopped smiling all day and has been really getting pumped. I waited and waited and what was supposed to take an hour to get results back took nearly 4. We went to the mall to look around, wanting to do something fun for a while before we were confined to a hospital all week. We really were just giddy and having so much fun together. I still hadnt heard when we were heading home so i called the doctor and they told me that her lungs were showing negetive maturity and they would let me know when they got the final results back. SO, my doctor called me an hour later and said how dissappointed she was and how she was so compltely shocked- She was convinced that she would be ready- after all- she is measuring over 40 weeks. She said her lung maturity was at 26 and was supposed to be 55 in order to deliver (dont ask w hat these numbers mean, i dont know.) Anywyas, i have been wallowing in seflf pitty all evening and cant imagine waiting another week to see her when ive been so excited. SO, i cried alot, took a nap, ate some dinner and then God- in his smooth ways- sent me down a little message. I turned on the tv to TLC and the first show was about a lady who had 6 babies (if she can carry six babies, i can suffer one more week with just one huge baby) and the next show was about conjoined twins who almost died and had to be cut apart. (again, i am feeling incredibly lucky to have a big baby in there who just needs a little longer to develope.) My parents also reminded me that we thought she was going to be a preemie less than 5 pounds- so a big baby, as long as she is healthy is okay by us.

So, the update is that we are going to try to get another amnio next tuesday to give her some time and then if she is ready- we will have her next wednesday. If not, I will have to wait until i am full term.
While i am dissappointed, it will be fine and my selfishness is minor compared to other things that could be wrong or happening. I will keep you all updated when we know an official date. i am sure she will be worth waiting for. Im just so anxious.

So rudy is going back to work tomorrow- dissappointed, and i am going to take it easy and get some more stuff done. Please continue to pray for her and for her developement and that by next week she'll be ready (or momma really will go nuts!)

Its not my time that matters....i just have to keep reminding myself of that...from here on out... my time and whne i want things to happen means absolutely nothing!