Its in the small stuff

I am bad at getting into a routine or a groove. I will admit it. I am not a creature of habit. I get bored, restless, uneasy when things remain in the same order all the time. I am a go go go go go person and find comfort in always having something to do, something to plan, something going on. But one of the "routine" things we do is find time each week to hit a library. Dallas County is BLESSED to have such amazing libraries. We went to waukee's for the first time the other day and while the workers are rude and unfriendly, the library itself has a kick butt childrens section. Adel's does too but the book selection is much more user friendly in the Waukee's. I am excited to try their story time but we will be hitting Adel's often too once story time starts. We LOVE the staff at Adel. I got Vaughn her first book on CD to listen to in the car...she LOVED it. Why didnt I think of this before? I loved them when we were little (only they made me carsick) and she adores them. I have to get more because I have listened to this one "The Relatives" over 20 times in a couple of days. I went onto Amazon and found some for $1.99-3.99. I only ordered one right now and will see what she thinks, but if she continues to love them this is a GREAT birthday/Christmas idea for her! (and me ;))  I know that VE needs more of a routine and I can tell that by her daily changes in mood and constant questioning about what we're doing next so I think I will make something a little more concrete and still "schedule in" some busy time for us. She likes to be going and likes change too...so we'll still have to mix it up.

I would love any ideas on things to do with your kids that are free/cheap and even recipes/ideas for kitchen fun (she loves this). 

The fall is going to be JAMMED PACKED With things going on and I cannot wait for all the fun and excitement and cooler weather. I cannot wait!!!! We're all ready for you fall! Bring it on!!! 

Random

Its quiet here tonight. My goal while Rudy had Vaughn was to go for a run-however, instead I sat down and ate 2 bowls of green bean casserole. Now I dont feel like Running. Bummer ;) Maybe tomorrow. I had a Thirty-One show tonight, made some good money and got another booking so that was super nice. I am trying to catch up on cleaning and editing but keep getting distracted. I am tired. I am broke. I am restless. I am blessed. I am curious. I am in need of finding a new place to live at the end of September. I am nervous about that. I am hoping we get to the fair tomorrow. I am missing Vaughn-elise tonight. She's precious. I am watching a Dooney and Bourke special on QVC. I am sorry, but their purses are soo ugly. Ugh. I am going to try to be productive. What 27 year old sits home on the couch watching a home shopping show, eating green bean casserole on a Friday night? I suck.

feeling...

dis·con·tent

not content;  dissatisfied; discontented.

a restless desire or craving for something one does not have. 

Synonyms =uneasiness, inquietude, restlessness, displeasure.

******

This is how I feel today. Not sure why. I feel like while my business is staying steady, it may never be enough to get me where I need to be in my life and while I do not want to get another job- I might have to very soon, at least part time to supplement. Depressing. 

I am feeling like if my own husband did not want to keep me around how/why is anyone else ever going to? And if they do, will I ever be able to trust another person enough that it doesnt push them away with my constant questioning, doubting and insecurities? Will I ever want anyone else and have them think i am worth it....

Will Vaughnie ever have a "normal" (whatever that is anymore) life with a mom and a dad and the things she wants? Will I have enough to just live and not worry? Will I ever be able to feel like I am on my own and not needing support and help from everyone else--be it calling a friend last minute because Rudy didnt show to watch Vaughn and I have a wedding in 30 minutes or needing financial help or business help....will I ever be able to do it on my own? Will I ever have nice things? A car that doesnt need thousands in repairs and doesnt break down at random times? 

I have hit a plateau on my weight loss and am feeling huge, unattractive and discouraged. I am just all around feeling rotten tonight.

I know this sounds so overly debbie downer but its just a night that I feel....blah. sometimes I have these nights. Sometimes I feel strong and encouraged and proud that we have come out of everything in one piece and then there are times I feel broken, confused, sad, lonely, hurt, angry, frustrated, doubtful. It doesnt take much. Rudy came to pick up Vaughn tonight and said one thing to me about my shirt and that was all it took....the walls went up, the positivity went down and there I sit. I hate that.

2 funny stories--worth documenting

We just got done eating dinner and Vaughn asked if I wanted dessert. I said "I dont have anymore room left!" and she said "sure you do, right there under your left boob."


While I was cooking dinner she wanted to play house. She said I could be the wife and she could be the husband. She went to my bathroom and shouted "Hunny, We're out of toilet paper...could you throw me a roll?" then she waited a few seconds and said "ahhhh nothing like Angel Soft."

...she cracks me up.

How Sweet It Is

2011 Adel Sweet Corn Fest. If you have not been to this festival- its worth the trip. Sooo yummy! So much fun! This year we did corn shucking the night before the festival for the first time ever. It was fun. We met my sis's family down there and shucked away. SOOO much corn! Everyone down there sat around, talked, enjoyed the beautiful weather. Saturday's weather was PERRfect too! Parade, corn, childrens jump houses (no pics of this- it was chaotic and I was alone with a 3 year old)....corn dogs, lemonade, sweet tea....perfection. Went home, napped and then headed out for a night on the town with some girl friends. It was a blast! My parents kept Vaughn and I got to just be with the girls. It was great. I ran into some old friends and just had a great time.

poor little munchkin did not know what to think about the sirens! Her little toes were curled up tight the whole time. too funny

corn shucking

soo much corn! 7 tons!!!

the townies getting together for some shuckin good times!

my sister and her husband also shucking corn

these next three pictures are funny. Andre sat there for about 15 minutes straight counting on his hands....content as could be

Today we are laying around. Vaughn is doing some laundry (yep she knows how already! Love it!), we are sorting some clothes and doing some photo editing. Nothing grand. Hoping to get to the Iowa State Fair this week at some point but just feeling all around unmotivated to do much of anything. Blah.

Travel, Bridal Showers and Lady Gaga

Mom and I had planned a trip to WI for Maria's Bridal Shower. Until last min we were not 100% sure we'd be able to make the trip so when mom went to work in the morning she was NOT prepared. I stopped by the house and packed her a bag while on the phone with her. Running around her room, throwing things into a bag and making fun of her for requesting 3 outfits for a 1 day trip. I went home, started throwing my own things in a bag and 7 outfits later I was ready to go :) We loaded the car at 5 and headed out on our almost 7 hour trip. 
I learned on this trip that my mom has a shameless love for Lady Gaga (GASP....Not MY Mom!?), that GPS is done via satellite and NOT a bunch of super lucky employees who get to take trips and chart their roads traveled, that my mom is not in the least bit trusting of Amanda- the GPS lady. (for the record- Amanda? how boring. why not something with more pizzazz...Meghan, for instance....but, its obvious who the favorite child is. Go ahead...name your GPS after her. Wait til she gets you lost. Then you can yell at your other daughter instead of ME!....on that thought- leave it Amanda. :) )
I learned via my mom that "MEN" street by the guy in the gas station with a half giraffe body as a mascott is actually "Main" street and that its completely wrong directions and you should have listened to Amanda in the first place! Never listen to shady men in a gas station at 11 at night....they will most definitely be directing you to their buddy's house for a nice robbing and raping.  When in doubt, trust your daughter (either the one in the car with you or the one with the annoying voice in the little box on the dashboard who may or may not have a speech impediment.), I learned that men with cauliflower ear and a name like  Derwin have a chance at being gainfully employed at hotel chains around America....and that at 11:30 at night, the combo of the name and the ear is funny enough that it keeps me from falling asleep, I also learned....maybe most importantly....that even delicious amazing WI cheese curds are not okay for a lactose intolerant person to eat when in the car. ....Just saying. Lesson Learned. 


The shower was a lot of fun. Maria and Matt got tons of nice new stuff for their place and I am glad we made the trip. My butt has yet to regain feeling but I had a blast with my mom and it was nice to take a trip. We will, however, be flying for the wedding.

a day of fun

Yesterday, We had a fun filled day with friends, family and the biggest balloons we'd ever seen:)A play date with a friend of mine and her kids and then she got to do a visit class with her little friend peyton to her gymnastics class. Vaughnie loved it. After that we went to the Indianola Balloons Classic and they did a night show where all the balloons lit up. We ran into my sister and her family as we were entering the gates so we all got to sit together and all the kids got to play. Poor Isabella got mauled by them all! She was a trooper though and didnt make a peep. Today we went to the pool and are now hanging out at home- I am so behind on editing and homework that I could stay up for days and not get caught up. Hoping to get some of that done this evening and tomorrow. Mom and I are planning on heading to WI this weekend for Maria's bridal shower, so I wont get much editing done then! Lots going on around here.

It was a no nap sorta day....she was pooped by halfway through the festival

her take on the bars....she did so well, I was so proud of her!

Vaughn and Peyton waiting for gymnastics to start.

Have a fun weekend everyone!